MIQuestionGuy Posted July 6, 2003 Share Posted July 6, 2003 Ok... so I met this girl online and we basically hit it off. She was 18 and I was 20 so no big deal right? We we swapped phone numbers and talked to eachother over the phone a few times then we decided to meet. I met her (in a very public place of course) and everything was going great. We have been on several dates and have really hit it off. Well the other night she decides to tell me that she is only 16! She doesn't even look like a 16 year old. Even my friends who have hung out with us had no problem believing she was 18. So here's my problem... I have grown very attached to her. She says she has feelings for me too. She just didnt want to tell my until she could make sure that I would be attached enough to want to see her again. Now I have always thought age is nothing but a number... but... this has kinda freaked me out. She is very mature for her age and I totally believed she was 18. I would like to continue to see her but would this be wrong? I'm not a perv or anything. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 6, 2003 Share Posted July 6, 2003 As long as the two of you get along fine and you have no problem with the age difference, knock yourself out. The age of consent in Michigan is 16 so sex will be no problem either. However, you should insist on seeing her birth certificate or driver's license...or meeting her parents...to confirm that she is really 16 or older before having any sexual contact. If she happens to be one day younger than 16, it'll be jailtime for you. For a chart of the age of consent for each state, go to: http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm Scroll down the list until you find your state. Now, I will warn you that no matter how mature she seems, she is still 16 and likely to drop you like a hot potato without notice. Right now, you are just a challenge...an older man she is seeing if she can reel in...and just how far. Once she tells her friends about you and gets it all out of her system, you'll probably be toast. So just be prepared that there's a good chance you are simply part of her game. The hint is with the fact that she initially lied about her age. There was a reason for that deceit. And count on the fact that her age will not be the last subject of misrepresentation on her part. Enjoy, don't be so serious about this, and you should have a good time. Link to post Share on other sites
beaker Posted July 6, 2003 Share Posted July 6, 2003 If she lied about her age because she knew it might drive you off, and only revealed it when she thought she had you hooked, then I'm not sure "very mature for her age" is how I'd describe her. She's acting just about exactly at her age level, which is someone in the middle of high school who acts on impulse... like most teenagers. She may be physically mature, and may display a level of confidence and comfort in social situations that conveys an impression of maturity, but it's highly unlikely her mental and emotional maturity is that of a real adult. You're not doing anything illegal here (unless 16 is also a lie -- have you seen a birth certificate or driver's license?), so no one can tell you to get away from her, but you need to keep in mind that you may not be in the same ballpark as far as your expectations in this relationship and where you see it going. You may not even be playing the same sport. You need to talk about those issues... and getting reliable, truthful answers on mature subjects from a 16 year old can be extremely difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
turtle Posted July 6, 2003 Share Posted July 6, 2003 Normally, 4 years is no big deal. But, in this case, it is. The lifestyle of a 16 year old and a 20 year old is way different. A 20 year old generally drinks and has sex more often. Also, most 20 year olds are financially independent and live on their own. A 16 year old still lives with parents. Few 16 year olds are capable of handling the emotions of an adult relationship. I would try to stick with somebody who is at least 18. A 16 year old girl may be just looking for somebody to brag to her friends about or to buy her nice things. Think about it, she has about 1 or 2 years of high school left. Do you really want to be involved with a high school girl? Would you ever consider taking her to the prom and going to football games with her? Of course, every case is different. So try and go with your gut feelings on it. Just don't be surprised if things don't work out. I agree with Tony that you should just "have a good time" and don't expect too much. (Verify her age - she may be 15!) Link to post Share on other sites
PurpleAngel Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 [color=violet][font=arial]Yes I agree with the whole alcohol thing… I mean if it is consumed within reason then what’s the problem??? Look here… 4 years is not a huge cap in age for a couple BUT at your age it might prove to be… if she where 20 and you where 24 might be different. My advice to you would be, treat her with respect, and remember that SHE IS ONLY 16, it’s a very delicate time in the life of a girl. Look if you really care for her no one can keep you from her so, look after her and don’t push her into doing anything she doesn’t want to do. Remember you are the older one so just do the right thing by her Good Luck ~PurpleAngel~ [/font][/color] Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 She seems pretty manipulative to wait until you were hook to finally tell you the truth about her age. It makes you wonder to what lengths would she go to get what she wants from you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MIQuestionGuy Posted July 7, 2003 Author Share Posted July 7, 2003 I guess in the end I can kinda see why she didn't want to come right out and tell me. She didn't want to scare me off. I also believe she is truly sorry for having to lie to me. I'll just take it as it comes and see what happens. Thanks to all those who replied. And for everyone's information.... I DON"T DRINK. So that is definitely not a problem... :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Jtizzle Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 this is a reply to sumbody who said most 16 yr olds just want to reel older guys in to brag to their friends and get gifts...well i jus want to say that...ur right bout the most part...but u didnt give the good side to the very FEW 16 yr olds like myself who date older men...when i date a older guy..im not worryin bout his money and what he can do for me...cuz i can make my own money.. i am worried bout a relationship and expressing myself to someone..and theres other girls out there like that too... but to the dude who started the whole thread....she should have been straight up with you from the jump...you dont have to lie to get someone to like you,and if that person doesnt like who you are then, you dont need to talk to them anyway...i've been talkin to a 23 yr old for awhile and he knows im 16..FROM THE JUMP...so if the girl cant be honest with you like i am with my guy, then you should just leave her alone, cuz she's showing you right there, that shes all about games Link to post Share on other sites
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