reasons to end it

[buzz]

The last month has been brutle. My girlfriend of a year and I have tried to break up three times, and can't seem to get it right. She is definately the best thing ever to come into my life, but we have some philosophical differences that are difficult to ignore.

 

When we stated dating, I told her upfront that I wasn't interested in marriage or children, and she was cool with it. Now our relationship has grown, and her feelings have as well. We have identified three things that are obstacles to our continued successful relationship. One is children, and I'm 95% certain I won't change my mind. The second is marriage. I don't feel the need without children, and we covered that. I'm a bit more flexible here, say 50% certain. The third is my daily pot use. She cannot tollerate it at all, though with our bussy schedules, I've managed to keep it from her, and only smole when she's not around. This is something that has been in my life over 20 years, and hasn't driven me to hard drugs or kept me from success. I would however give it up for her.

 

there is a fourth problem that i have, that i have not shared with her. I'm afraid i'm not satisfied enough in the bedroom. She has large breasts, which unfortunately are overly sensitive, which basically means hands, and lips, off. Same goes for any anal action, even finger titlation, which is a personal fav. I asked her early on about a threesome, and was clearly told it would never happen. I also talked about the ability to separate sex and love, as men can so well. She made it clear that if i were to sleep with another it would be over. I'd love to be with an exotic women, especially a black women, just once, please!

 

i can't figure out if my reasons are enough to lose an exceptional women. i could never live with the lie if i were to cheat.

 

Lil help!

[Rachel]

Buzz,

 

It sounds to me like you and your girlfriend are as different as they come on several issues. Unfortunately, they happen to be major issues. I think it would be in both of your best interests to end the relationship for good. It's good that you'd give up your pot for her, but she obviously wants to settle down, and you don't want that at all. I wouldn't want my man sleeping with other people either!! If you really care about her, do what's best for her and let her go so she can find a man that is more compatible with her.

The last month has been brutle. My girlfriend of a year and I have tried to break up three times, and can't seem to get it right. She is definately the best thing ever to come into my life, but we have some philosophical differences that are difficult to ignore. When we stated dating, I told her upfront that I wasn't interested in marriage or children, and she was cool with it. Now our relationship has grown, and her feelings have as well. We have identified three things that are obstacles to our continued successful relationship. One is children, and I'm 95% certain I won't change my mind. The second is marriage. I don't feel the need without children, and we covered that. I'm a bit more flexible here, say 50% certain. The third is my daily pot use. She cannot tollerate it at all, though with our bussy schedules, I've managed to keep it from her, and only smole when she's not around. This is something that has been in my life over 20 years, and hasn't driven me to hard drugs or kept me from success. I would however give it up for her. there is a fourth problem that i have, that i have not shared with her. I'm afraid i'm not satisfied enough in the bedroom. She has large breasts, which unfortunately are overly sensitive, which basically means hands, and lips, off. Same goes for any anal action, even finger titlation, which is a personal fav. I asked her early on about a threesome, and was clearly told it would never happen. I also talked about the ability to separate sex and love, as men can so well. She made it clear that if i were to sleep with another it would be over. I'd love to be with an exotic women, especially a black women, just once, please! i can't figure out if my reasons are enough to lose an exceptional women. i could never live with the lie if i were to cheat. Lil help!

[Ryan]

My, you sure bring a lot of chaos with you.

 

As a separate side issue, you should realize that daily pot use counts as marijuana addiction, which is very serious in itself. Don't think you can just STOP doing it anytime you please....it takes some structured guidance to make it happen.

 

These differences you put forth are very profound, and I'm not entirely sure that making this relationship work would be easy, but it would definitely require some objective counsel. You should realize that children are a HUGE committment, much moreso than marriage could ever be. Since the idea of being tied down in some way doesn't seem to work for you, don't have children until you are married. It's time to restructure the order of priority there.

 

As for bedroom.....I don't blame her for not wanting anal or threesome. A threesome will kill a relationship with ease, so don't fool yourself into thinking it just happens all the time without any consequence.

 

I think that is an important word to contemplate here: consequence. From what you say, you aren't fully acknowledging or even considering much of that with your actions. You are an adult and you have some basic responsibilities therein. It's time to move in that direction.