lexi29 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 My fiance and I have differing opinions about the food for the recption. I've been to several weddings over the years and honestly can't remember what the food at the reception was (nothing stood out) just remember some ham, and side dishes, salads, etc and lots of cookies. My fiance and I are trying to plan a menu (he wants his parents to cater it which is cheaper for my parents) His parents and he want to have Fried chicken, macaroni salad, potato salad, meatballs, rigatoni, and a meat and cheese tray for sandwiches!! I am pulling my hair out, I am not a picky person (normally) but this sounds more like a picnic lunch than a reception dinner. Also meatballs and rigatoni are very messy (my sister had this at her reception and spilled sauce on her dress.) I don't need anything fancy Anyone care to share what they are having/had or any suggestions. Our budget is about $1500 for food for 130 people. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Sounds to me like you are worlds apart on what you are thinking for a wedding. In your other thread you indicated that you didn't like their choices of locations (VFW hall) - not sure if that was because of the venue - or distance for your family. I am not sure where you are, but $1,500 will not go very far to feed 130 people in most parts of the western world. While agree that the menu choices suggested by his parents are not very wedding like IMHO, your budget is very limiting. You might want to consider cutting your guest list in half. Are his parents professional caterers? If you have the wedding over an hour from where they live/work - how will they transport and reheat the food? I think you have a lot of details to hammer out, as in ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Also keep in mind that not all venues allow outside caterers in - so that might limit your choices and increase your budget too. You seriously need to start making lists and figuring things out. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 My fiance and I have differing opinions about the food for the recption. I've been to several weddings over the years and honestly can't remember what the food at the reception was (nothing stood out) just remember some ham, and side dishes, salads, etc and lots of cookies. My fiance and I are trying to plan a menu (he wants his parents to cater it which is cheaper for my parents) His parents and he want to have Fried chicken, macaroni salad, potato salad, meatballs, rigatoni, and a meat and cheese tray for sandwiches!! I am pulling my hair out, I am not a picky person (normally) but this sounds more like a picnic lunch than a reception dinner. Also meatballs and rigatoni are very messy (my sister had this at her reception and spilled sauce on her dress.) I don't need anything fancy Anyone care to share what they are having/had or any suggestions. Our budget is about $1500 for food for 130 people. Thanks! $1500 for 130 people! I am paying $30 a head. Are you sure even with his parents catering that will cover it? How are they serving the food? are you hiring people to man it so his parents can relax? I am still hammering out of menu. But We will have a roast beef carving station, chicken breast in a red pepper cream sauce and pasta primevera. a fresh green salad with green apples, cranberiies and candied walnuts in a maple vinegrette dressing. sides will be sauteed aspargus and snow peas appitizers will be VT cheese and fruit plate with passed crab cakes and tomato & mozerella crositini. wedding cake and fresh fruit for desset. Plus we are having beer and wine and ice tea. it will cost $3000 for 80 people excluding liqour. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I had another thought - given your limited resources, you might want to consider a champagne reception, which is much lighter on the food, yet very elegant. Mostly desserts (yum chocolate covered strawberries and champagne), possibly some finger sandwiches, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Plus we are having beer and wine and ice tea. it will cost $3000 for 80 people excluding liqour. Wow hotgurl - I'm from NYC, and keep kosher, any idea what that would cost me?! Good for you! Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Wow hotgurl - I'm from NYC, and keep kosher, any idea what that would cost me?! Good for you! I don't know we are in Vermont but it is a resort area and a lot of people from NYC have desitation weddings here. So I don't know how the prices would vary. I know if I add fish it is an extra $400. They told me to estimate $20 a head for liqour to be safe So I was thinking 5 grand for dinner/ drinks. My budget is 10 grand and I am having a hard time. God forbid if I had more people coming. Of course I did insist on getting a trio to play for the ceremony. and don't even get me started on cakes!. when are you getting married? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lexi29 Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 I know $1500 is a very limited amount but that is just for the food, not paper products, wine, drink, etc. Its all my parents can afford and my fiance's parents are not offering to chip in, nor is my fiance. I already have to pay for my bridesmaids' dresses, the wedding venue, flowers, decorations, invitations etc and truthfully I don't want a "real" wedding in the first place so thats enough out of my pocket. The reception will be at a venue that does allow outside catering. I'm irritated by the VFW hall because it is small and smokey and the only thing fiance's parents like about it is that it is close to where they live. I'm not looking at something 1.5 hours away (where my parents live) but would like to have the reception at least a half hour away from where my fiance lives (closer to where I live and close to hotels etc (I live in a city while my fiance lives in a small town with NO lodging and since most of my family members will be driving hours to come to the wedding I"d like them to be able to only drive a few minutes to their lodging after the reception. We are inviting 130 people but I expect maybe 100 at most will show up. I honestly don't know much about wedding food budgets as my sister had her MIL cater their wedding and her husband's parents paid for all the food. And any of my friends who got married, I know the total they spent for their weddings but never asked just about the food/reception. I would really like to just have the reception somewhere that does the decorating/food prep for you and I looked into that but it costs about $9,000 and though I do have about $10,000 in a savings account I'm not spending that on a one day event!!!! I'd rather use it for something more practical like a down payment on a house. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Well you could consider paring down your guest list. That would help, because $1500 really isn't going to be able to feed 130 people a full on meal. Or as curiousNYC suggested, maybe just a champagne reception, or have your wedding earlier in the day so you don't have to offer them a full meal? Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I know $1500 is a very limited amount but that is just for the food, not paper products, wine, drink, etc. Its all my parents can afford and my fiance's parents are not offering to chip in, nor is my fiance. I already have to pay for my bridesmaids' dresses, the wedding venue, flowers, decorations, invitations etc and truthfully I don't want a "real" wedding in the first place so thats enough out of my pocket. The reception will be at a venue that does allow outside catering. I'm irritated by the VFW hall because it is small and smokey and the only thing fiance's parents like about it is that it is close to where they live. I'm not looking at something 1.5 hours away (where my parents live) but would like to have the reception at least a half hour away from where my fiance lives (closer to where I live and close to hotels etc (I live in a city while my fiance lives in a small town with NO lodging and since most of my family members will be driving hours to come to the wedding I"d like them to be able to only drive a few minutes to their lodging after the reception. We are inviting 130 people but I expect maybe 100 at most will show up. I honestly don't know much about wedding food budgets as my sister had her MIL cater their wedding and her husband's parents paid for all the food. And any of my friends who got married, I know the total they spent for their weddings but never asked just about the food/reception. I would really like to just have the reception somewhere that does the decorating/food prep for you and I looked into that but it costs about $9,000 and though I do have about $10,000 in a savings account I'm not spending that on a one day event!!!! I'd rather use it for something more practical like a down payment on a house. Have you sat down and talked to your fiance about the budget? Is he chipping in at all. How does he feel about the wedding?you both discussed what kind of wedding you want? Plus since youa re paying you get to trump your inlaws. BTW your bridemaids should pay for thier own dresses. It sounds to me like you are feeling rushed. Maybe it would be better to put if off a bit. Let you finish grad school start your job. Plus the extra time will allow you two to save more for the wedding. Sept 2009 would give you 1.5 years. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 a brunch wedding would be nice too. Less expensive. You could have mimosas and bloody marys. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I had another thought - given your limited resources, you might want to consider a champagne reception, which is much lighter on the food, yet very elegant. Mostly desserts (yum chocolate covered strawberries and champagne), possibly some finger sandwiches, etc. I was going to recommend this. A friend of mine had a "heavy appetizer" reception, not a full-on meal. It was mainly deserts and elegant passed appetizers. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I totally agree you do not have to buy the dresses for your wedding party, so forget that! I also agree you might be able to do much better financially if you select a venue that offers all inclusive packages. While it is very worthwhile to consider your fiance's parents' offer to do the catering, that really might not be the best option for you. As we have all said, first and foremost you need to put together lists - what do you think the cost items are: Venue, Music, Food, Food service, Wedding Dress, Flowers, Bar/Liquor, Linens and tables (VFW hall you need to rent those, hotel you liikely don't but there will be a charge), make up and hair the day of the wedding, etc Then I suggest you come up with estimates for each line item and THEN you can gain agreement as to who will pay for what. Your parents might be better off buying your dress, vs. the food. Stuff like that. Depending on where you are in the country you might be able to do all this on a more limited budget - I'm not sure. I would also consider all menu options, like a light hors d'oevres reception with open bar (these are always my favorites,), or as I said earlier champagne reception. And as another person said - consider time of day differences. BTW Hotgurl, I am not getting married yet - but I can tell you my brother had a brunch wedding, reception in the synagogue, no flowers per se, sort of kind of an open bar (my parents supplied the liquor the caterer supplied the bartender), no meat, but yes fish huge buffet for 120 people, and it was $30K! So yes NYC and kosher is very, very expensive! If/when I get married it will be a courthouse simply because that is all I can afford. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I used this when helping my BFF: http://www.brides.com/myweddingplanner/tools/budget/ It helps you budget for each item in your wedding, and gives you guidelines about what % of your total budget should be spent on any given thing. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Lexi. the knot .com is a good resource for wedding planning. I also bought a book wedding planning for dummies. (I hate thoose titles) But it was very helpful since it has chapter on where to start and check list etc... Also I noticed you said you BF won't help pay but he is the one who wants the big wedding. This is really unfair you should talkt oh im about it. curiousnycgirl wow 30k for a brunch wedding yikes!. My friend did a brunch wedding is it was very reasonable. but he had maybe 50 people. my friend got married in mahattan and she spent over 40 grand and was divorced 2 years later. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I know $1500 is a very limited amount but that is just for the food, not paper products, wine, drink, etc. Its all my parents can afford and my fiance's parents are not offering to chip in, nor is my fiance. Lexi, you mean to say that your fiance is not pitching in at all for the wedding? Or is he just not paying for any food-related expenses? Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I am getting married in January and it has gone from a casual affair on the beach to a proper one with most of the trimmings. After f-ing and blinding my whole life that he wouldn't waste money on a wedding my Dad has decided that if his only daughter is getting married, he wants it to be done properly and is paying. Which is kinda cool, but seeing as my parents are paying, they get to have a big say in what happens- I think this is pretty standard practise. Luckily we have found a venue that is halfway between my parents and my fiances parents house (they are from the same area though) that is a lovely country house with beautiful gardens that does the ceremony and reception all in one place, which makes the bill easy to work out. The food looks lovely- its a summer wedding so we are having new potatoes/ roast beef, salads, chargrilled vegetables, and for dessert cake and strawberries.. I think its around $35 US per head think it will work out at just over US$50 per head with booze, and we are having about 120 people. My fiance and I originally wanted to do the catering ourselves, and we worked out that it would be waaaaay too stressful, and wouldn't save that much money by the time you worked out how long everything would take etc. I have bought my dress/shoes/ accessories and the bridesmaids necklaces myself, and my fiance and I are paying for the band and the ties for the male members of the wedding party. I think $1500 for food is really pushing it unless you can catch/ kill some of it yourself. I agree that meatballs and that is too messy too. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 PS we went to a wedding last year and it cost over £30,000 (thats US$60K). It was great but I can't really see where all the extra money went that will make it so different to ours. I resisted all the wedding planning books etc for ages too, but Hotgurl is right- they have handy checklists and are good for helping you wording the invites right etc etc. They also give you an insight into just how OTT some people go!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lexi29 Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 Lexi, you mean to say that your fiance is not pitching in at all for the wedding? Or is he just not paying for any food-related expenses? he has offered to pay for tux rental for his groomsmen (I know thats not typical but I want to pay for the bridesmaid dresses as 2 or the 4 bridal party are not working and my sister never has any money (she does work but is just starting out). Also he will pay for the place we hold the reception, for the marriage license, and for any fees for the wedding venue. He just has NOT offered to pay for anything food related. I should also point out that of the 130 people we want to invite about 25 are children!! Well I should say 25 are under age 16. Most are young kids (under 10) with a few that are in their teens. I really dont' want any kids (under 12) at the wedding but his son obviously will be there and thats wonderful and I wouldn't have it any other way but its the young kids I'm worried about. There really won't be anything for them to do at the reception. But my fiance's brothers have a lot of young kids (his one brother has 5 kids, another has 4, and two have two young children. So if they are invited I have to invite my family members' young children or they will wonder why they can't bring them. HOpefully some will find babysitters but I can't be sure. Do we include the kids in the count for the food? lol yeah we may have to catch/kill some of it ourselves. would tie in perfectly with my fiance's redneck family (and I say that lovingly lol) Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 curiousnycgirl wow 30k for a brunch wedding yikes!. My friend did a brunch wedding is it was very reasonable. but he had maybe 50 people. my friend got married in mahattan and she spent over 40 grand and was divorced 2 years later. Yup that's why there is no way I can conceive of having a wedding - my family is way too how it looks - and I just refuse to buy into that and spend that kind of money!!! Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 he has offered to pay for tux rental for his groomsmen (I know thats not typical but I want to pay for the bridesmaid dresses as 2 or the 4 bridal party are not working and my sister never has any money (she does work but is just starting out). Also he will pay for the place we hold the reception, for the marriage license, and for any fees for the wedding venue. He just has NOT offered to pay for anything food related. I should also point out that of the 130 people we want to invite about 25 are children!! Well I should say 25 are under age 16. Most are young kids (under 10) with a few that are in their teens. I really dont' want any kids (under 12) at the wedding but his son obviously will be there and thats wonderful and I wouldn't have it any other way but its the young kids I'm worried about. There really won't be anything for them to do at the reception. But my fiance's brothers have a lot of young kids (his one brother has 5 kids, another has 4, and two have two young children. So if they are invited I have to invite my family members' young children or they will wonder why they can't bring them. HOpefully some will find babysitters but I can't be sure. Do we include the kids in the count for the food? lol yeah we may have to catch/kill some of it ourselves. would tie in perfectly with my fiance's redneck family (and I say that lovingly lol) kids count as the per head tally. My Aunt (for her son's wedding) had hired a babysitter for the kids. She was at my aunt's house and had a pizza party for the kids after the ceremony. It worked out very well. Is there any way you can cut down the guest list? Or have just a champange reception? Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 OK, so he is helping out with the wedding expenses then. That's good to hear. You mentioned that you are trying to get food for 130 people but only expect a 100. Perhaps you should consider enforcing some kind of RSVP method (which is the norm). And maybe a few weeks before the reception, you could get a friend to call all the guests up and verify if they are coming and make adjustments to the food (and possibly lower your budget). I've been to weddings where guests could choose b/w two meats and a veg dinner - that way, there is more quality and not as much choice. So maybe you two can compromise and have a chicken meal (fried chicken, some kind of potato and salad) and maybe a fish or beef/pork item as well (along with the same potato dish and salad). Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 look at foods that are easy to eat (not messy or soooo foo-foo that no one wants to eat it). Why not check with sis's MIL to see what kind of ideas she can give you? After all, she's in a better position of knowing what kind of foods "work" ... she may even offer to cater for you at a discounted price since you're almost family. Or she might be able to help you find a place that will handle the food/cake/reception venue for one simple price. My girlfriend did that for her wedding and she said it made things so much less stressful. Can't remember what they served – chicken and rice? otherwise the weddings I've been to back home have featured BBQ (the polish weddings) or carne guisada/fajitas with rice and beans and the trimming (the mexican weddings). One of my classmates went all out with a huge cheese wheel and fancy wines, etc ... I have no idea how much she spent on the wedding, but I'm pretty sure it was a lot because it was a blowout of the likes no one in that town had ever seen. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Do you know anyone who has a home that's substantially large? You could always pair down the guest list A LOT, and still have it catered at a house. This way your alcohol and corking fees won't kill you, if you let people serve themselves. A garden party is always nice, if you can rely on your weather to participate. Consider a tent regardless, in case of heat and too much sun. When I got married seven years ago, there's no way we could have done it on your food budget. Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Do you know anyone who has a home that's substantially large? You could always pair down the guest list A LOT, and still have it catered at a house. This way your alcohol and corking fees won't kill you, if you let people serve themselves. A garden party is always nice, if you can rely on your weather to participate. Consider a tent regardless, in case of heat and too much sun. When I got married seven years ago, there's no way we could have done it on your food budget. We are doing a garden wedding and it is not cheaper. Becuase you have to rent all the tables, chairs, dishes, catering trays service wear tents etc... It is costing us $3,000. We looked at a place and thier fee was 2K for the recption but it included all the chairs, dishes etc.. really you just have to price everything. Plus I was amazed at how much a price difference dfferent vendors were. The first place I priced my tents etc.. was $4,400. And went with another co and got it down to $3,000. I do admit I am a dork and like spreadsheets and planning. I have budget spreadsheet, contact lists., payment schedule lists, guest lists rsvp lists. Link to post Share on other sites
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