Enchantica Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I don't get what's wrong with me. I'm sitting in my room crying and I don't quite understand why. It feels like I'm 15 years old again. I used to go to bed and cry and I wasn't sure why. I hated school, and had bad anxiety due to bullying mostly. My anxiety isn't as bad anymore and I'm not getting bullied at work. I guess my living situation is kind of rubbish, because a lot of the time I'm on my own, or hiding away from people I don't want to see. I don't see my flatmates often because most of the time they either aren't here or are with their other halfs (their other halfs aren't very nice people). Lately I haven't been able to see my bf much because of the bad weather and high wind, since he drives a motorbike. It feels like the only time I'm happy is when my bf is around. Other times I just feel down and sad. I don't want it to be this way, I don't want him to have to be around for me to feel happy. I was sad at work today, I just feel blank inside. After 8 years I still can't seem to get to the root of this problem. I'm in counselling but still not quite getting there. I just want to feel happy. I remember some times when I was happy, when I used to party with my friends. But since they got their other halfs things haven't been the same. We used to hang out, party, have a good time, weekends were so much fun. Then things started to get all dramatic with their partners and now we can't all hang out together. I miss the good times. It feels like there is little to look forward to anymore. I just feel stuck in a huge rut. I'm on anti-depressants but not sure if they are helping. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Somehow you need to find happiness without relying on your boyfriend to provide it all for you. It's unhealthy to rely on him to make you feel good and happy...Now that you can't see him, you're not happy.. Do some yoga! Keep busy, start new projects, go out and make new friends, or do some hobby's that make you deal with all sorts of people. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Sorry to hear that you feel this way. I know what it's like to be depressed, I've been down alot lately, and I'm taking anti depressants too. What you need to do is to preoccupy yourself with other things, try to do things you like to do. I know its hard but you got to focus your mind on something positive. Try to take it one day at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
DogMetal Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 What did your counselor say when you told them you are not feeling any better? Maybe you need a different type of help or simply a different counselor. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enchantica Posted March 11, 2008 Author Share Posted March 11, 2008 Thanks for your good and sensitive replies guys. Sometimes I get a bit nervous posting on these kind of forums because some people aren't quite as sensitive and understanding I have been in a relationship where I depended A LOT on my partner, we saw each other every day and I would be almost unable to function if he wasn't there. That was my ex though, and I know it wasn't healthy. I don't want to get that way with my current bf. I think it's because it feels like he's the only one that seems to like spending time with me and who is happy to be around me. My flatmates have their own things to do and people to see. I miss having my friends to hang out with, we used to be so close, like a family. Maybe that's why I'm starting to rely on my boyfriend more, because there aren't many other people wanting to hang out. I have started doing my pen pal letters again so hopefully that can keep me amused for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
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