trifecta Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 James I have responded-but post went poof. I am heading off to work shortly -so I will repost tomorrow. One thing before I head though -when wife kills husband-that one is difficult to answer as the example stands-as choice maybe fully excluded from the equation-dimminished capacity ect. TriMax Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I don't get the connection between her salting the steps and his fall being HER fault ? What am I missing here ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted March 12, 2008 Author Share Posted March 12, 2008 No, he's never shown anger or abusiveness toward me. He had always been very caring and sweet. I know the cards can change. People--i did originally say thw whole stair and wife thing could be a twisted rumor--ich it was. Can we lay off that now an stick to the main questions please? Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I'm just wondering if anything will be left of MM when the sh*t hits the fan. Not only is he caught between W and OW, he is caught by a pregnant and hormonal W and a doubly pregnant and doubly hormonal OW. Both are going to be fighting for what is best for their children like mama bears. This guy has no idea what is in store for him. Being thrown down the stairs is butter compared to the emotional and financial ass reaming he has coming his way. I agree... This is all just a huge bomb just waiting to go off. I don't think you are going to have to force him to "tell" anyone. The probability that this is all going to be kept quite is really low I would say. I would suggest you tell him what is going on because the longer he has to react the better things might be. Link to post Share on other sites
MimiMe Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Do you think the pressure of all this will make him loose his mind, do you? The reason I ask is because there are some men out there who have harmed or even killed their wife/OM because of situations like this. You should definetley tell him you're pregnant, but just use general precautions. Outside of the A, did anything about him make you feel fearful, unsafe, unsure, etc? What is his character like and did he ever tell you of any current circumstances that he found overwhelming or angering? I know people think this stuff only happens in movies like Matchpoint, or they think of the Laci Peterson case, but it can happen. Just keep your wits about you-that's all. Very true!! I once had to assist in advicing a estate in which this was the case. The H cheated and got the OW prego. He didnt want his W to find out since she was the wealthy one in the M and he was just a gigolo. He went and blasted the OW 4 times, little did he know neither she or the fetus die and he is now serving life. He was charged with 2 counts of attempt. His xW now has a relationship with the OW and supports the baby, since they both have kids of the same dead beat. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I was wondering what you all think--or have experienced... Here are my questions: 1. Do you think the cheater should tell their BS/partner about the affair? 2. If they refuse to tell their BS/partner, should you demand they do, or threaten to tell that person yourself? 3. Is it considered lying even if the cheater never lied about having an affair, but kept it as a dark secret? I have only read the OP, and since I don't have time to read this whole thread, I'm only going to answer these questions. 1 - Yes absolutely 2 - Not sure, but I think that's called blackmail. I guess it depends on what kind of relationship you plan to have with the MM after you play this card. 3 - I think that omission of the truth is still a lie. I haven't followed this story, but I'm guessing that the OP is a OW who is pregnant by a MM and the MM doesn't know about it. In that case, doesn't question #3 apply to the OW? Seems like one big game being played here. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 No one has addressed this, so I will. A lot has been said by G concerning the fact that his son is his stepson and not his blood. But this SAME MM told G that if he and his W separated, he would take BOTH kids! Now either he IS bonded to this boy, or he's just trying to avoid paying child support. Either way, no one opts to take care of another person's child unless they have some feelina for them. G, it sounds like this whole A and resulting pregnancy is going to throw you for a loop when you find out the truth. And that whole W/stairs story: too funny. Maybe what was said was that she SHOULD have thrown him down the stairs - not that she did do it. LOL. The twists and turns, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted March 12, 2008 Author Share Posted March 12, 2008 (edited) NID, I didn't mean the step kid when I said kids, I meant any kids they have together. He has no rights to the step kid. My apologies to anyone who misunderstood, but I thought that was implied. I think she initially salted that steps because she and her son were leaving but were careful. Well MM is clumsy. Needless to say... I certainly don't find it funny at all when someone gets hurt no matter how bad of a person they are. But laugh away-- ha ha.. Edited March 12, 2008 by Gwyneth Link to post Share on other sites
Jackson2008 Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Oh gosh no! I've never wanted him for more than he was. I've since moved on and have been dating a really great SINGLE man who adores me and cheerishes me. And whom wants to commit himself in me and the babies. MM does not know of new guy yet. Please don't take this the wrong way; this is a serious question. What kind of "really great man" would date a mistress who's currently pregnant with a married man's child(ren)? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 Please don't take this the wrong way; this is a serious question. What kind of "really great man" would date a mistress who's currently pregnant with a married man's child(ren)? Oh, so a pregnant woman cannot date? Is that illegal? My gosh, I didn't know a pregnant woman's life has to stop while she's pregnant. Geeshhh I don't feel there's an answer for your rhetorical question. I'm not trash and have many things to offer even if I'm pregnant. You used "pregnant" and "mistress" in the same sentence. I've moved on--isn't that good enough? Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I think what he was saying is...would a single man consider the fact that you are pregnant with a MM's baby a bit complicated? Would a single man not be concerned about how this will complicate HIS future? Would a man who himself is not somehow a complicated be willing to be a part of your life while you are dealing with such issues? While I don't think this was directed at you as if you are somehow less of a person or less valuable as a potential partner, I do think that many single men would think twice about jumping into the middle of such a situation. Personally,IMO if you found such a guy, then it is obvious that he cares about you for who you are. He seems to be willing to handle any complications because he feels you are worth every bit of what may happen. This was my take. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 I was wondering what you all think--or have experienced... Here are my questions: 1. Do you think the cheater should tell their BS/partner about the affair? 2. If they refuse to tell their BS/partner, should you demand they do, or threaten to tell that person yourself? 3. Is it considered lying even if the cheater never lied about having an affair, but kept it as a dark secret? I'm asking this for a few reasons. I finally spoke to MM and told him he needs to tell his wife abt our affair (I haven't told him I'm pregnant yet--one thing at a time). He told me his wife is pregnant and I told him that coming from a 2x broken family for that reason, he should have known better than to keep having an affair with me while trying for a baby. According to him, he wasn't trying--she was (apparently he wasn't there (sarcasm)). I told him he should not have been having an affair when trying for a baby, and he should have been honest with his wife before bringing an innocent child into this world (unbenownst to him, 3 babies!). He doesn't agree with me. He's playing the in denial card. He also told me he told his wife if they ever split, the kids going with him no matter what (that's what he thinks...) Because she doesn't have a good job (I'd like to see try to pull that one on me). This is where I'm at right now. I told him I need to discuss a very personal matter with him--i think he has assumed what I am planning on telling him, because he looked right at my stomach with a very serious look. I couldn't tell him then and there because it was a public place (at his job). I strongly believe he needs to tell his wife and start having an honest R with her now that baby is on its way (she's due same month as me...). I so wish I could have a drink right now because its one of those days... Hugs, Gwyn, hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Personally,IMO if you found such a guy, then it is obvious that he cares about you for who you are. He seems to be willing to handle any complications because he feels you are worth every bit of what may happen. This was my take. I interpreted the question the same way. But that last part is what I find really hard to swallow because how can you establish that kind of bond and understanding for someone in such a short amount of dating time? Maybe I am strange but I think it takes about a year to really feel someone out. I am always weary of the impression I have of someone for the first few months. Link to post Share on other sites
american-woman Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 How long have you been going with this new fantastic guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gwyneth Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 How long have you been going with this new fantastic guy? Me? Well we met at a friend's New Years Eve party and had a few dates in the beginning of the year during NC from MM. Then new guy had to leave the country for a few weeks for business so we cooled things off. Meanwhile, I reconnected with MM and that was when I became pregnant. New guy was coming back right after I found out I was Preg and I was honest with him and told him. He then asked that when he comes back he'd like to see me and take me out for lunch. So I said sure. Why not? I think I'm entitled to date even if I am Preg--my life isn't over...yet... So we're casually dating as I am not sure right now I should commit to anything, but he's head over heels and I'm just too hormonal right now to even consider falling head over heels for anyone...or anything, except chocolate cravings So he bought me a huge box of my favs--choc covered cherries. He's sweet and I enjoy his company. Overall, a little over a month but on / off for two. I'm not rushing and certainly not sleeping with him until after the babies are born. I don't think it's cool to sleep with another man while preg with another man's babies. Link to post Share on other sites
PandorasBox Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 "I don't think its cool to sleep with another man while pregnant with another man's babies." But it is ok to sleep with another woman's husband. I know what you're saying though, gotcha' Good luck to ya. Link to post Share on other sites
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