CodependentKate Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Ok, I am having a bit of an ethical dilemma. I have found a service online that allows one to call a number and have a number of their choosing appear on the caller-id. My boyfriend cheated on me about a year ago, and I have saved the girl's phone number. I know that he has not spoken to her since then, but this is mostly just because he met her while she was vacationing and she does not live near him. I am thinking about using this service to call his number and have her number show up on his caller id. I was planning on having another friend pretend to be this girl and to have her tell him that she was going to be coming back into town for spring break (she is still in college) and see if he wants to hook up with the girl. I will not be in town during spring break, and I want to see if he would be willing to cheat on me again. I know that this may seem a bit psycho, but we are planning on becoming engaged soon and I really need to know if I can trust him. If he does agree to go out with her, I obviously will break up with him and tell him about my trick. However, even if he turns the offer down, he needs to tell me that she called him because he promised me that he would tell me if she were to ever contact him in the future. Either way I am going to admit to him that it was me. I guess that I just wanted some feedback on this idea. So - what do you think of my plan? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I think PMC would be a much better use of your time and energy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CodependentKate Posted March 12, 2008 Author Share Posted March 12, 2008 What is PMC? Oh, premarital counseling? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Affirmative... Years of marriage have taught me that, if you suspect enough to spend time cooking up traps, the answer likely isn't going to be what you want to hear. You have an advantage; you have no legal commitment. I suggest a long engagement Link to post Share on other sites
NuTuDating Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Entrapment is not entirely right, either. If I was being faithful to someone, and they cooked up some psycho BS like that, I'd dump HER. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 This sort of game playing is immature and certainly demonstrates mistrust of your boyfriend on your part. It's obvious you still don't trust him after his cheating episode. You need to dump him and wipe the slate clean. Why should you live your life wondering if he's carrying on with someone else...and why should you put energy into spying on and tricking him. Hasta! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 If you have those type of trust issues you are clearly not ready to be engaged and married. If you want to stay with this guy, you need to find that level of trust. Besides, who's to say that (if he's still being a cheater) that he would go for this girl again - maybe he's got someone else he's playing with. Not saying he IS, just saying that just because he passes this test, doesn't mean he'd pass another. Regardless, it is a dumb game and does not sure the maturity needed for that next level of commitment Link to post Share on other sites
shadowofman Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 What is one to do if you love but do not trust? What if you already know that you will never trust, but you still love? Should you love if you know that you can't trust, and can you help loving? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 That's a textbook example of a conundrum. Trust is in integral part of love. Link to post Share on other sites
MimiMe Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 I'm dying here... I came across that service years ago and though of calling my stbxH from his OW number and see if he answered with a "HI BABE!"... while I was standing outside his shop- just to see his face drop when my voice came out at the other end of the line with a "HI BABE! Wanna sign these lil papers that I have here??". The though crossed my mind... but from that to actually doing it- Nah! Waste of time and energy. Chances are that you are going to hear something that you are not going to like! Why bother being with someone that you cant trust? Run now, while it doesn't cost you. LOL! Divorces could be expensive on the expense of the character and the pockets. Link to post Share on other sites
MimiMe Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 What is one to do if you love but do not trust? What if you already know that you will never trust, but you still love? Should you love if you know that you can't trust, and can you help loving? I want to say that yes, you can absolutely love someone that you cant trust. Love is love. you dont have to be with a person to love them, but you do need the trust to be with them. Complexed, but it is what it is... My stbxH and I have been together for 11yrs, married for 7 and he had been cheating for the past 4. He was the love of my life, and no matter how much I hate him and want nothing to do with him, my heart still loves him. I am going to have to either kill that love or give it to someone else, because I could never ever trust him ever again! We will NEVER get back together. Trust is everything in life. Link to post Share on other sites
themessenger Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 what is this srvice online? whats the website? Link to post Share on other sites
MimiMe Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 (edited) I know that the one I found was a called ID scrambler. Search it. You basically buy minutes (like a calling card number) you call that number, enter the number that you want to dial and then enter the number that you want to display and WHALA!!! Edited March 12, 2008 by MimiMe typo Link to post Share on other sites
themessenger Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm nothings coming up Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 google telespoof for an example Link to post Share on other sites
MimiMe Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 LOL! Last I had searched for it, there was this huge article about regulators trying to stop the distribution of the service. Its mostly offered trough a VOIP service provider. Link to post Share on other sites
loveratud Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 He's getting a boat load of crazy in the deal with you, eh? Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 You basically buy minutes (like a calling card number) you call that number, enter the number that you want to dial and then enter the number that you want to display and WHALA!!! Or "Voila! End of trust in a relationship..." Sounds great. He's getting a boat load of crazy in the deal with you, eh? Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
skinnybrowngirl Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 I say do it. You will always be wondering otherwise and there will come a time you will kick yourself for not doing it when you had the chance. You want to do it now rather than when he is "working late" and you are 8 months pregnant. Of course once he passes the test you have to accept he is trustworthy and trust him. Dont be tempted to continually test him. That is not fair. Link to post Share on other sites
Pikaia Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 I wouldn't do it. If he hasn't talked to this girl for a while, it would be stupid to use her number, pretend to be her and then stir things up. He may tell her no then, but he could call her back later on. It would be pointless. You'd be letting him know that "she's" still thinking about him. Point is.. Just because he says no this time, doesn't mean he won't say yes next time. Link to post Share on other sites
MimiMe Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Got a point! What's so wrong about confirming suspicion though? If your gut is telling you something is up, chances are that something is up. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts