Is he interested? Or is it just friends.

[Lost in Vegas]

There is a man I am interested in who I work with, but I can't tell if he is interested in me.

 

We've both share our problems with each other and he seems genuinley concerned and is very sweet about it. But when we talk about it for more than 5 minutes he wants to change the subject. It's like he doesn't want to have any serious discussion with me and is more comfortable joking and flirting. I think it's because he is shy.

 

I'm having a hard time reading him. We email each other back and forth at work all day long, flirting and kidding with each other. He says he really enjoys talking to me. He gives me compliments on my appearance and he tries to cheer me up when I'm having a bad day. He touches me on the back or rubs my neck sometimes. But he's done that to another woman at work before too only not nearly as much as me.

 

We went on an errand together the other day, but I couldn't tell if he was interested or not even though we spent the entire hour flirting. When we got back to work he sent me an email saying he had a "great" time with me. He's a wonderful man, very sweet, but very shy. Most of the messages I get from him are that he is attracted to me - but when I try to act on them in any way - like suggest we go to lunch - he seems to back away. We've know each other about a month now, but I feel like it's been much longer.

 

Am I expecting too much too soon? Should I just wait for him to make the first move? Or is he just being friendly. I don't want to scare him off.

 

I need to know what to do before I end up getting hurt. I really care about him, but if all he wants is a friendship then I need to back off.

 

Please advise me on how this man may feel about me. I really care about him.

 

Thanks -

 

Lost in Vegas

[Tony T]

Pour some cold water over your head!!! He's looking for some encouragement. Men fear rejection as much or more than women. So give him some encouraging words. Invite him to a party or some outdoors event...something harmless at first. But you've GOT to let him know clearly that you are interested. He's probably been burned before and is very hesitant about expressing an interest.

[Shirley]

There is a man I am interested in who I work with, but I can't tell if he is interested in me. We've both share our problems with each other and he seems genuinley concerned and is very sweet about it. But when we talk about it for more than 5 minutes he wants to change the subject. It's like he doesn't want to have any serious discussion with me and is more comfortable joking and flirting. I think it's because he is shy. I'm having a hard time reading him. We email each other back and forth at work all day long, flirting and kidding with each other. He says he really enjoys talking to me. He gives me compliments on my appearance and he tries to cheer me up when I'm having a bad day. He touches me on the back or rubs my neck sometimes. But he's done that to another woman at work before too only not nearly as much as me. We went on an errand together the other day, but I couldn't tell if he was interested or not even though we spent the entire hour flirting. When we got back to work he sent me an email saying he had a "great" time with me. He's a wonderful man, very sweet, but very shy. Most of the messages I get from him are that he is attracted to me - but when I try to act on them in any way - like suggest we go to lunch - he seems to back away. We've know each other about a month now, but I feel like it's been much longer.

 

Am I expecting too much too soon? Should I just wait for him to make the first move? Or is he just being friendly. I don't want to scare him off. I need to know what to do before I end up getting hurt. I really care about him, but if all he wants is a friendship then I need to back off. Please advise me on how this man may feel about me. I really care about him. Thanks - Lost in Vegas

 

Hi!

 

This man isn't shy. Shy men don't flirt. At least in the way you are saying he flirts. They're way too scared. This guy just wants to have a little fun. And men hate to talk about feelings. He enjoys playing around with you. It's fun for him, and it probably boosts his ego a great deal to know that you enjoy his advances. And it's flattering for you, it's a natural feeling. But if you've tried to ask him out, or to get to know him better, there is nothing more you can do. And no, you're not moving too fast. If you are acting according to how you feel, there is no such thing as going to fast. But don't spend all of your energy, trying to open him up. And if you're tired of just flirting around, then tell him to stop. For all you know, this type of thing is all he wants, and it could go on for years.