BF gets mad when I don't go to the gym?

[Isabella82]

Well interesting info about my BMI. I don't think that 5'2 105lbs is underweight and I know that kiera is definately thinner than me! I don't want to give you guys the wrong idea. But that I think is besides the point.

 

I think it might have to do actually more with him because being his size (very thin) I feel like maybe he is just worried that I will be bigger than him. My appearance as far as my weight I never worried about because it never really was an issue until my first year of college. (before I met my bf) I went from 104lbs in HS to around 124 pounds. I am sure it was the stress, life changes, dorm food, and drinking that made me gain. I lost the weight after my 1st yr once I moved out of the dorms.

 

He saw pictures of me the other day of my heavier times and I think freaked out because he says that even my face looked bigger and he didn't know I could get that big.

 

He always says you lost all that weight for your ex bf (who I just happen to be with at the time that I moved out of the dorms) but I never lost the weight for him he never cared it just happened that way.

 

Anyways thanks for all the replies I appreciate it. I don't understand why he just has to be so mean about it.

 

To answer the Q's we never went to counseling we just I feel have a better understanding of eachother and mostly wants right and wrong so we are better.

 

It just makes me wonder because my friend had a baby and is having a hard time losing the weight and her husband doesn't say anything. My bf is having a fit over 5lbs!

[Isabella82]

I have asked him about pregnacy before and how he would be and he just says that's completely different but I am sure he would be the same. And horrible afterwards!

 

Even now I am still sick and he keeps complaining you never go to the gym! I can barely get up to go to work for 8 hours! If he says one more thing to me about it I am going to tell him that I don't want to hear it or else I can't take it anymore.

 

I mean he doesn't motivate me by offering to go wth me. And I love him just the way he is even though I am sure he is underweight. I don't tell him to drink protein drinks and get a personal trainer. But guys are more visual than females are and I just maybe think that a lot of guys feel this way about their wife/gf but of course are more respectable than him.

[LucreziaBorgia]

He's so mean about it, because he knows it will make you do what he wants. I'm sure if he feels that he is 'nice' about it and spares your feelings then you will not be as motivated to keep your weight down to his specifications.

 

Does he feel out of control in other aspects of his life? Was his mother controlling and demanding? He may be acting out on you, because he may feel that you are the only person in his life that he can control.

Edited March 12, 2008 by LucreziaBorgia

[JamesM]

I would have to echo the comments made already. Your BF is a controlling freak, and your weight is none of his business.

 

Truthfully, I don't see that he loves you. Why? Because love is not measures by the weight of the person you love. You are right...what happens when you get pregnant? You could gain a lot of weight, and if you try to keep the weight down too low, you could damage the health of the child.

 

He is confusing admiration for your body with love for you as a person. For some reason, he thinks that if you "let yourself go," then this is a sign that you do not love HIM.

 

IMO, he is not right for you. While you "love" him, he does not truly love you...based on this thread alone. I can understand the weight issue as related to weight. My wife has looked perfect while married and she has been over 200# while pregnant. My love for her did and does not change with her weight.

 

As for him, he is being very hypocritical. He should be working out as well as you. You could be just as anal about the fact that he does not look ripped and buff. Why doesn't he have the six pack abs? Does he have bulging arms? What do his pecs look like?

 

Come on, dude, hit the weights!

 

When I was in my mid to late twenties, I was thin and around 160#. I also worked out at least three times a week. Since then I have reached as high as 200# while not working out. Now I am around 175# and work out.

 

My point is that when I was in my twenties, I never gained any weight. My metabolism was fast. As I got older, I gained weight. No longer was I that skinny guy who could be blown by the wind. And even though I had been a regular weight lifter, I quit going around the same time my metabolism slowed. I gained weight to everyone's surprise.

 

He will gain weight, too, and with his poor exercise habits, he will begin to look horrible.

 

What does he expect you to do? Be understanding or leave?

 

IMO, your BF has a problem, and you do not. You have a choice...do you want to put up with this behavior which may never change, or do you want to find a guy who will love you for who you are, and whose love will not fluctuate with your weight?

[JamesM]

 

I mean he doesn't motivate me by offering to go wth me. And I love him just the way he is even though I am sure he is underweight. I don't tell him to drink protein drinks and get a personal trainer. But guys are more visual than females are and I just maybe think that a lot of guys feel this way about their wife/gf but of course are more respectable than him.

 

When I persuaded my wife to go to a gym, it was not because I thought she was overweight. It was because she was not happy with herself because SHE felt she was overweight. So I purchased memberships for BOTH of us, and we both went. As a result, we both lost weight, and had experiences to share. Now we both go again.

 

Guys do want their wives and GFs to look good, but I am willing to say that most want them to look good because their wives and GFs feel better about themselves. Most of us love the person we married...not the body we married.

[CallaKay]

Your bf has a point, try to look good for him. But not at this degree. What will happen when your looks fade away when aging? Or when you get pregnant? DUMP HIM.