datingnovice Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Here is a quick summary of my situation: I met a guy at a conference in Chicago a few months ago. We hit it off and spent three days hanging out together. I live in Arizona and he lives in Boston. Since returning home, we have kept in touch by talking on the phone on an average of once a week. We never really talked about visiting each other so I planned a trip to visit my girlfriends in Boston. Once my plans were set, I contacted the guy a week before my trip. Unfortunately, he was booked up and I could not get out of my planned activities with my girlfriends since that was the reason for my visit. In sum, we were able to meet up for a drink. We totally got along and had a great time together during the short amount of time but not enough time to fully reconnect. He communicated to me that he would have liked to have seen me for a longer period of time and that next time, I should give him more notice. At his request, I left him a vm before I left and have not heard from him since. So it has been a little over a week since I last saw and spoke to him. I left him a vm around 10:30pm his time and he has not returned my call. Should I give up for now? And if I know I am returning to Boston next month, should I still attempt to contact him? Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 ...He communicated to me that he would have liked to have seen me for a longer period of time and that next time, I should give him more notice. At his request, I left him a vm before I left and have not heard from him since. So it has been a little over a week since I last saw and spoke to him. I left him a vm around 10:30pm his time and he has not returned my call. Should I give up for now? And if I know I am returning to Boston next month, should I still attempt to contact him? datingnovice, Yes, I would. Keep the message light and breezy letting him know you're coming back to visit friends in a month, would like to meet up if he's interested, and wondered whether he was interested in doing the same. You could add something like you enjoyed seeing him the last time and hoped a month's notice might be enough for him to "fit you in." However, I wouldn't go beyond that, and if he doesn't respond, I wouldn't contact him again. "Conference hook-ups" often have a fantasy quality about them -- sorta like what can happen when you meet someone while on vacation. The encounter/connection you make with another may be immediate and intense, but when you both go back to "reality" (your real life), the relationship doesn't follow or fit in. Nothing wrong with an innocent fling, unless the participants were less than honest about their feelings or personal situation (i.e. one or the other misrepresented themselves as to their relationship status). But, it does take two to tango especially in LDRs, so the fact this guy hasn't followed up so far, isn't a good sign that he literally or figuratively is willing "to go the distance." Look at your efforts to re-connect as "nothing ventured, nothing gained." If he doesn't respond, you've lost nothing. You met someone new, had some fun, and had a new experience. Not all encounters result in more. So, if you don't hear back from him, chalk it up and have fun visiting your girlfriend, as you would have even if you had never met the guy. Who knows? You may meet someone else new who's more interesting and interested in you, when you do! Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
babycheeks Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 maybe im cruel but why are you having to do all the contacting, guys know what they want.. and if he was thinking about that special day you two had he would contact you. Let him come to you.. you have done enough ... STOP Link to post Share on other sites
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