nickelinadime Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 A year ago, I was in a pretty serious relationship with a girl who lived an hour or so away from me. The relationship was going well, but she had a history of drinking and ****ing random men. Anyways, one day she went to a party and got smashed. Of course, she ended up having sex with a friend of mine who decided to email me a picture of them lying naked together in a bed. She denied it until I told her I had photo evidence of it, which is when she came clean. Eventually I was notified that that wasn't the first time she'd cheated on me. Needless to say, I left her and never looked back. I'm now in a relationship of 5 months with a great girl who was my friend of a year before anything happened. She said she's had feelings for me since day one and I believe it. I trust her more than anyone, although recently I've been contemplating if that is really true. I find it hard to trust her at dances and parties when I'm not there, however (noting that she loves to drink, mainly to be drunk, even though she's stopped drinking [for the sake of being drunk] since I've been with her). She's pretty wild, and gets extremely horny when drunk, so I find it hard to watch her go to parties without me. Is this normal to carry emotional baggage like this from being cheated on (or more notably, humiliated) over a year ago? Is there anyone else who's found it hard to trust a girl who's had zero history of cheating, just because they were so hurt the first time they were cheated on? Will I ever heal enough to fully trust her? Help! Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 Your reaction is normal. Nevertheless look what you have written. You find it hard to trust your girlfriend at dances and parties alone because she loves to drink to get drunk and gets wild and horney when drinking. I don't blame you for being concerned. Have you ever thought to look at the time of girls that you date and their common behavior? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nickelinadime Posted March 12, 2008 Author Share Posted March 12, 2008 Well, I've only ever had 2 serious relationships, those two being them. She doesn't go to parties without me, and when she does go to dances, she swears that they're dry. So, I trust her. She went on a cruise with her family for Spring Break, and has told me of a guy that she met. She also told me of a party that she's going to tonight. I'm finding it quite hard to cope, even though she promised nothing would happen and would probably have a hard time getting alcohol on the boat (we're 18). Should I just trust her and try and forget it? Is there anything I can do to ease up on the paranoia, and is it normal for someone who's been cheated on and humiliated to be acting like this? I hate the jealousy and worrying that she's cheating on me, when in reality, it's doubtful she is. Link to post Share on other sites
dancinggal Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 Well, I can be a bit of a party girl, and when I drink, like a lot of people, I do want to have sex. Would I ever cheat on my boyfriend? No. And I haven't seen him in 10 months. Don't let one experience scar you. Everyone is different. Everyone reacts differently. Also, if you don't trust her, you're going to have a tough time. Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 years ago after getting badly burned by mt ex, i also had some very serious trust issues. actually i was down right hard on my gf. her going out and dancing and getting drunker than heck. sit her down and discuss your conserns, and fears. explain what you consider wrong, and what is not appropate behavior.i realise that she's single and can do what she wants, but if you aren't happy, and she continues to do these things,well maybe it's time to go seoerate ways. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 OP, if your GF indeed loves you (from the beginning, as you say), she'll listen to your concerns and make an effort to accommodate you. Your job is to note and validate her actions and work on your own trust issues, which are perfectly normal to have based on your past experience. Ask her for help (I assume she trusts you). To me, it sounds like she's open and honest and doesn't keep secrets from you. Would you agree? Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author nickelinadime Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 Thanks for the input, everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
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