pigeonfeathers Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 (edited) I need some advice! I'm 21 years old, a virgin, and I pre-cum a lot. Tonight, for example, I was at a party and I started dancing with a not-so-attractive girl. She was grinding very hard, and within a minute or so I started to lightly precum. I sometimes pre-cum a little after just *talking* to a gorgeous girl, and often when making out with a girl (because I have had limited make-out experience), so it's not surprising that grinding hard on the dance floor would have this result. She didn't comment on it, and I assume she just didn't feel the light wetness. But if I had danced for longer, I worry that a wet spot would have formed, and that she might start to feel my wetness on her. How embarrassing! After I danced with her, a very cute girl wanted to dance with me. A minute into it, she started whispering something to her friends, who shrugged. She then looked at me, and said "I can feel your ___ and it's awkward" and stopped dancing with me. I don't know if she was referencing my boner or the fact that I was wet (hopefully the boner, because I doubt she would have felt my very light pre-cum...). I assume this isn't normal, as I don't think girls would grind hard on guys if they expected pre-cum to result! Anyway, I'm wondering what other college-age girls on here would do if the guy you were grinding with started to lightly pre-cum. And more important, what should I do? I would love to try dancing more, and obviously I would pre-cum less upon getting more experience. But how do I overcome this barrier of embarrassment? Is there anything I can do to make my boner less obvious, and/or to make sure my jeans don't get wet? Note that I wear very thin boxers, and the pre-cum tends to drip down the side. Perhaps thick briefs would help a lot? Thoughts? I wonder if briefs would help suppress a boner...I haven't worn them in a decade, so I have no idea. Edited March 14, 2008 by pigeonfeathers Link to post Share on other sites
shadowofman Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 You should give the boxer-brief a shot. Very comfy. Very supportive. And usually thick enough to absorb your problem. Also, you should call attention to the boner before the girl gets a chance to comment. Maybe a sorry for the hard on but you are too hot for me to avoid it. Or if you aren't trying to stroke her ego, tell her you are sorry but you took a Viagra. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss_Diagnosed Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 Maybe you should, before going out, take some "self-action" and see if that would help the, uh, problem from "popping up". Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 You should give the boxer-brief a shot. Very comfy. Very supportive. And usually thick enough to absorb your problem. This is a good idea. Just jerk off more and epically before you go out. Link to post Share on other sites
MayDay Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 Howard Stern once talked about having the same problem. He put on a condom to catch it all. And if things got heavy, he would just go the bathroom and remove it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author pigeonfeathers Posted March 14, 2008 Author Share Posted March 14, 2008 (edited) shadowofman, Viagra? I'm 21... Re boxer briefs: I'm still worried that with them, the precum might make my thigh a bit wet, which is the area it hits right now (because that's where my dick generally goes when I'm hard...). You don't think so? I'd rather not go for real briefs if I don't have to, but I don't want to by boxer briefs and have the same problem. More opinions would be great. But yeah, as I said, my current boxers are thin as hell, so it's no surprise I have problems. Re calling attention to my boner: I feel that this could be very inappropriate in many circumstances. And sometimes they do expect it, right? If they're grinding real hard? Maybe not? I'd love some more female input on this. Anyway, none of you think my problem is abnormal? Have any girls on here encountered this before? And you say Howard Stern *had* this problem? That's comforting. Of course, I don't really know how I'd put on a condom and have it stay on all night...I don't have a chronic boner... Edited March 14, 2008 by pigeonfeathers Link to post Share on other sites
Legend Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 Start jerking more... Around 5 times a day. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 Maybe you have a lot of repressed sexual tension? I know that when I used to be with my ex, he tends to get boners alot, but not precum. I guess it's a bit unusual in your case. Why don't you just release the tension before you go out to places? Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 Ok. 1. Whenever you feel precum, excuse yourself, leave the room. Find the nearest bathroom and clean yourself. Seriously. Any wetness a girl might experience on your trousers will make you look like the lest eligible male on the planet. And I didn't specify the species. 2. Work on the sexual tension. Wack off, take a cold shower, do whatever you need to do to ensure you can make it through an evening without unwanted erection and precum. It might still happen, but not as often. 3. Are you for real? Link to post Share on other sites
Author pigeonfeathers Posted March 14, 2008 Author Share Posted March 14, 2008 Well, I don't know if masturbating hours before dancing will help too much. That's definitely enough time to build my boner back up, although I guess I might be less likely to get hard as fast... Moreover, I often don't really *know* when I am going out. I just suddenly do. So it's hard to predict the opportune moment to jack off, and I don't really want to worry about that. Anyway, I still don't understand if this pre-cum situation is something really gross and weird, or something normal. I'm seeing mixed responses. How would you feel if you felt pre-cum on a guy's pants while grinding? Do you think lots of guys do it, but cover it up with thicker underwear? I really don't have a clue. How about boners? I don't see how you can avoid them when the girl is essentially ****ing you on the dance floor...I shouldn't be learning how to suppress my boners, because that's unhealthy (right?), and boners *happen* when you ****! They're supposed to! Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Replicant Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 After I danced with her, a very cute girl wanted to dance with me. A minute into it, she started whispering something to her friends, who shrugged. She then looked at me, and said "I can feel your ___ and it's awkward" and stopped dancing with me. I don't know if she was referencing my boner or the fact that I was wet (hopefully the boner, because I doubt she would have felt my very light pre-cum...). I assume this isn't normal, as I don't think girls would grind hard on guys if they expected pre-cum to result! Dude you are worrying about nothing here. When a girl turns you on to that level, the writing will be on the wall so to say. Little do you know, if she's dancing to the same tune she'll be just as wet. Just keep the boner on a lower BPM than the music, if you let the load go in your pants that will be the dancefloor killer. As for containment issues that's totally up to you and the advice from others provided. I would consider this a more personal choice based on comfort, she's going to feel it either way. Mine as well fire for effect. :laugh:The girl in question is probably young and you just spooked her in some regard to which she needed consultation. Just relax next time dude, don't go at her like a hammer drill on concrete. I also suggest watching the movie 'Superbad', as long as she's not using you for a canvas in which to paint on, i see no reason for concern in this thread....'period' Link to post Share on other sites
Legend Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 Dude you are worrying about nothing here. When a girl turns you on to that level, the writing will be on the wall so to say. Little do you know, if she's dancing to the same tune she'll be just as wet. Just keep the boner on a lower BPM than the music, if you let the load go in your pants that will be the dancefloor killer. As for containment issues that's totally up to you and the advice from others provided. I would consider this a more personal choice based on comfort, she's going to feel it either way. Mine as well fire for effect. :laugh:The girl in question is probably young and you just spooked her in some regard to which she needed consultation. Just relax next time dude, don't go at her like a hammer drill on concrete. I also suggest watching the movie 'Superbad', as long as she's not using you for a canvas in which to paint on, i see no reason for concern in this thread....'period' Amen replicant.... Amen... lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author pigeonfeathers Posted March 14, 2008 Author Share Posted March 14, 2008 Replicant, I appreciate the advice, but I have to admit that I really don't know what you just said (aside from the Superbad reference. I got that.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author pigeonfeathers Posted March 14, 2008 Author Share Posted March 14, 2008 I just read somewhere that pre-cum is actually a normal occurrence on the dance floor. Could that be true? Maybe I have nothing to worry about? Girls? Link to post Share on other sites
NuTuDating Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 Pigeon - it happens when you're turned on, sometimes. Wear underwear. Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 The appropriate thing to do if you get a boner while bumping and grinding a girl is to pull away a little...give her a bit of space. When a guy has a boner, grinding crosses over into dry humping. You wouldn't want to do that without consent! Now, if you know the girl is really into you, then never mind, let her know how much she turns you on by gently holding it against her for a second and see how she reacts....but, you must be reading all the signals correctly to do that. Advanced skills. When in doubt, just back off a little, smile and say "Oops. Sorry, can't help it. You are so very beautiful/hot, etc..." Also, say this if you notice she notices it. Most women would be a bit flattered, trust me. That is, as long as you don't get creepy and assume she wants you to dry hump her. You have to come across as a bit shy about it, but a bit confident, too. So, smile slightly. But in the end, be a gentleman and follow her lead. Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 As for the pre-cum thing, I have an unusual suggestion, but you might want to give it a try. Buy a nursing bra pad and put one in your underwear over Mr. Happy. The pads are small, discreet and designed to catch any breast milk that might leak out while a woman is out in public. Kind of similar to your deal. Link to post Share on other sites
compassion42 Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 I hate to say this but is this post for real? Something just sounds a little weird here.....just wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 I can't say if this guy is for real or not but I can see where this issue might come up and he is insecure about it. Cut the kid some slack people and take his concerns as serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pigeonfeathers Posted March 15, 2008 Author Share Posted March 15, 2008 Yes, the post is for real. Is it such an abnormal issue that you'd think otherwise? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 I think you should celebrate your high-drive! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 The pad idea is a good one, as is masturbating prior to known occasions of possible sexual arousal. Non-virgins face such issues too Additionally, try doing male Kegels to increase pelvic floor muscle strength, which should reduce pre-ejaculate volume some. Above all, work on being less self-conscious about any results. Your reaction is human and the girls know this Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted March 15, 2008 Share Posted March 15, 2008 I think getting "excited" is normal esp at your age. I remember make out sessions where I'd come home drenched, if you know what I mean. However, as a guy, you can lessen the cum thing by well, using it more. I had an ex that used to masturbate daily. Claimed it helped him with longevity when he did have sex, and made him not so insanely horny all the time. You might want to incorporate it more into your life. Do you mind us asking how often you engage in self pleasure at this point? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucasarts Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 you have a lot to worry about you shouldn't be pre-cumming so much to the point that it soaks thru your underwear AND pants. That's just not normal, and it effectively KILLS your chances with the girl you're grinding with. (They feel that wet spot and think: This kid's already blowing up down there just dry humping me, I don't even want to know what he's gonna be like if he actually gets inside of me) wear a condom and hopefully that'll help with your problem (make sure its secured tightly ) or just jerk off before you go dancing/clubbing. This'll help to alleviate any tension or stress as well as being able to just dance and not worry about blowing your load in your pants. Link to post Share on other sites
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