Hansha Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Hello, this is Ren, and I'm having some problems regarding my position in this odd teenage relationship. I found this site off of search, and I hope it may help me find a solution. I suppose it started when I first met her. It was through a friend of mine who had gotten into an intimate relationship with her. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend do to issues between them, such as verbal abuse and he simply not making her feel loved. I tried to be her friend and support her, and after she came back from a hiatus, I had this strong attraction to her. It was like love at second sight. I understand it may seem to fast to be in love like this, but I just feel this way. And she said she liked me too. I had learned that she got back with her boyfriend and ended her relationship with her 'fill-in'. I felt that I shouldn't be the 'other woman', so though I let her know I loved her and had fun spending time with her, it wasn't something someone would call cheating. I grew to love her, and settled with the fact I couldn't have her. But recently, I discovered her guy that she was with when she and her boyfriend were separated still pursued her and that she allowed it. Not only that I also found out that they were in an affair, despite her telling me that though they have feelings for each other, she wouldn't cheat. But if talking about getting married, going to the prom together, cuddling and exchanging "I love yous" doesn't constitute to cheating, I don't know what does. Up until I discovered she was thinking of all this and much more, I didn't mind her being friends with him. But afterwards, I just didn't feel obligated to restrain myself from getting more closer, beyond what best friends are allowed to do. What troubles me is, that she's in love with three people, I get jealous of her sancho, because she clearly loves him most. I love her, I really do. And she says she loves me too. But I don't get the same affection as with her sancho. It's given me nightmares and a slight case of heartache. What's more, I don't really know if it's right to be cheating on her boyfriend. I personally had tried not to get into those compromising moments when it is clearly cheating and not just being best friends. I understand her situation, and yet it kind of hurts. Do you think it's right for a person to love three people at once? Who should be supported ? What can be done to abate this sorrow from having the person you love love someone else more? Because she's it's clear now that she's cheating on her boyfriend, would it matter if I stop restraining myself and become more intimate? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hansha Posted March 16, 2008 Author Share Posted March 16, 2008 Fell off front page.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hansha Posted March 21, 2008 Author Share Posted March 21, 2008 Hello? I think it fell off the front page. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 is this a joke? Who actually puts up with this crap, walk away from her and don't look back, seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Elyssa Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Hansha, your entire post reads like you're trying to justify to yourself why it's okay to become intimate with her. Instead, I would ask you to consider whether you even want to be involved with her in the first place. She can't be "in love" with three people. That's called being fickle and immature. I think she is stringing you (and for that matter, the others as well) along because she enjoys the attention and having someone cater to her needs all the time. Forget her and find a girl who will love you back unconditionally. She doesn't and all you're going to get out of your friendship with her, is pain. -E Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hansha Posted March 22, 2008 Author Share Posted March 22, 2008 Arch- How nice to put it that way.. E-I know it looks like I'm trying to justify something, but isn't that the dilema in the first place? I question if I should justify it, if I should pursue it, and so on. Tell me, how is it fickle and immature? How is she stringing us? You confuse me there. Sorry.. Link to post Share on other sites
theBrokenMuse Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Arch- How nice to put it that way.. E-I know it looks like I'm trying to justify something, but isn't that the dilema in the first place? I question if I should justify it, if I should pursue it, and so on. Tell me, how is it fickle and immature? How is she stringing us? You confuse me there. Sorry.. It's fickle and immature because she's bouncing around from person to person to person, lapping up all the attention she's getting without any real consideration for others. It's playing out like a bad Jerry Springer episode. Unless you want to deal with never ending drama, leave well enough alone and find someone more stable. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJJ Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 You seriously cannot be that naive? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hansha Posted March 22, 2008 Author Share Posted March 22, 2008 Muse- I see. She has her reasons, I guess. I just wish I can feel bbetter about getting over with it. MsJJ- What if I am? Link to post Share on other sites
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