is he cheating

[mmy22bys]

my situation is a complicated one. i found out my ex husband was cheating on me. his girlfriends husband had hired a PI to follow them. he got them on tape over a few nights, doing various things. what i saw on video was enough to end our marriage. not an easy decision because i have 2 boys { 3 & 6} but he knew i'd never put up with cheating. well, after many months of talking, etc. "D' and i got together. like i said, it is complicated. we both have 2 children, we get along well. our children get along. my boys & i moved in with him in december. i had a few doubts, but i did it anyways.

 

my ex is not easy to deal with. "D' hates him for ruining his marriage. my marriage was horrible. so finding out about him cheating was my out.

 

i really care about "D". after an incident a few weeks ago, he said he was flying to florida, renting a harley and will think about our situation and decide if he can continue putting up with the chaos in our lives.

 

he's been gone since wed. he'll be back tomorrow night sometime. i wouldnt think he was cheating on me EXCEPT he has a bottle of pills he sometimes takes before a bedroom encounter, he refilled the bottle on wed. and took it with him. i have confronted him about not fully trusting him { come on, my ex was cheating on me for over a year and i didnt know} and he says " then you dont know me very well". maybe i dont, but if those pills were here i wouldnt be having a problem. the keys are a long way from here, he could have done anything with anyone & i would never have found out.

 

i thought we had a good relationship. i've read everything i could about rebounds. i've talked to a counselor numerous times. my best friend is a marriage and family thereapist. i dont consider it a rebound because i was already emotionally detached when i was married. we really didnt have any kind of relationship except for a sexual one.

 

i will be crushed if i found out "D" had an 'affair'. we've shared the last year of our lives together. my boys really like him, i cant explain why he is gone. i have explained we might be moving out , depending on what "D" has to say when he comes back.

 

any advice? am i just reading into things? should i confront him about the pills when he gets back or just ???????????????????? i do want him in my life, i just dont know what to do.

[Hansha]

Well, you don't need to take my advice, but I'm thinking you should wait till he comes home, and try to casually talk about it. I know for sure getting in his face about something you might be wrong in isn't a good experience for either of you two. The family seems to be in a good shape, so it's good to be sure about things. As far as I know, things can go either way.