confused03 Posted July 9, 2003 Share Posted July 9, 2003 OK I HOPE I CAN EXPLAIN THIS WITH OUT IT SOUNDING BAD! I'M GETTING MARRIED TO SOMEONE WHO I REALLY LOVE AND CARE ABOUT OBVIOUSLY. BUT THERE IS THIS COWORKER THAT I AM FRIENDS WITH AND I ONLY TALK TO HI'M AT WORK. WE HAVE GONE OUT BEFORE WITH OTHERS FROM WORK AND IT WAS FUN. BUT FOR SOME REASON I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HI'M AND ITS WEIRD BECAUSE IT JUST HAPPENED OUT OF THE BLUE THESE FEELINGS. I DON'T THINK OF HI'M AS HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH HI'M JUST STUPID STUFF LIKE I WANT TO JUST THROW HI'M UP AGAINST THE WALL AND KISS HI'M WHEN HE LOOKS AT ME. OK NOW HERES THE STORY I TELL HI'M EVERYTHING BECAUSE WE GET ALONG SO GOOD AND HE KNOWS I'M GETTING MARRIED AND I'M HAPPY ABOUT IT. ONE DAY I WAS INSTANT MESSAGING HI'M AND I TOLD HI'M THAT THERE WAS THIS OTHER GUY THAT I COULD'T STOP THINKING ABOUT BUT NOT SEXUALLY OR RELATIONSHIP WISE. JUST VERY WEIRD FEELINGS. AND HE STARTED ASKING ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS OTHER GUY AND HE THEN SAID DO YOU WANT TO GO FOR DRINKS AND I WAS LIKE SURE BUT IT WAS MY BDAY AND HE FORGOT SO I SAID I BETTER NOT MY FIANCEE MAY HAVE PLANS FOR ME. SO WE SAID WE WOULD GO ANOTHER TI'ME. SO TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT HE FIGURED OUT FROM ALL THESE ANSWERS I WAS GIVING HI'M THAT IT WAS HI'M I WAS TALKING ABOUT AND I THINK HE KNEW ALL ALONG. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND AND I DON'T BELIEVE IN CHEATING ON MY FIANCEE EITHER BUT I FEEL LIKE I JUST GO OUT ONE NIGHT AND MAYBE A KISS DOES HAPPENED MAYBE I WILL FEEL BETTER AND GET IT OFF MY CHEST. I FEEL STUPID AND SO CHILDISH MAKING A HUGE DEAL OUT OF THIS BUT I NEED TO KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO CAUSE I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HI'M. I'M THINKING MAYBE ITS JUST WEDDING JITTERS I DON'T KNOW. AND HE HAS BEEN DIFFERENT IN SOME WAYS ABOUT THE WHOLE THING AT WORK. PLEASE HELPPPPP!! Link to post Share on other sites
bryanp Posted July 9, 2003 Share Posted July 9, 2003 How would you feel if your boyfriend who you are engaged to had intimate talks with another woman about your relationship, felt very attracted to this other woman and wanted to go out for drinks with this other woman and would not feel bad if there was just some kissing between them? You have already started emotionally cheating on the man you are engaged with. What don't you tell your boyfriend what your feelings are and how you plan to go out for drinks with a guy you are sexually attracted to and that the other man knows it. You do not sound like you are mature enough to enter into marriage. If you cannot be honest with your boyfriend now then what are you doing. Apparently the chance of making out a little bit with another man is no big deal to you. I suggest that you tell your boyfriend if he finds someone he is really hot for then he should go out with her behind your back and engage in some kissing only because according to you it is no big deal. What is wrong with this picture? Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused03 Posted July 10, 2003 Author Share Posted July 10, 2003 Thanks for your reply and I do agree with you however I think I wrote this wrong. I did go out to drinks with him but there was five other people we work with as well there and it was only for an hour and my fiancee knew about it and nothing has ever happend. I have never cheated on anyone and dont plan on it. Just thought i would express what im going threw to see what other people thought or maybe I can find out why this is happening. thank you for your reply because u are correct i would be hurt if he did it to me. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 10, 2003 Share Posted July 10, 2003 Well, I have two comments. First, it sounds like it could very well be wedding jitters. You are making a committment to someone and somewhere in the back of you mind you may have thought "this is it, I'll never experience first love, or first kiss again. The passion may dwindle and change" and that thought, even if you don't realize it as a clear thought, could be getting in front of the fact that you love your finacee and how wonderful it will be to spend the rest of your life with one person, and experience new things with that person. That can and does happen to a lot of people. Second, if this guy has a girlfriend, and he knows you are engaged, but still wants to go out for drinks with you alone, should tell you that he's not particularly trustworthy. He may see you as a challenge or a "notch" on his belt, but it sounds like he just doesn't care about your happiness or care about other people's feelings. Don't put yourself in that situation. If you want to pursue something with him, then be honest and break it off with your fiancee and tell him to break it off with his girlfriend FIRST so that you are both free to explore a possible relationship between the two of you. Somewhere on this board (someone may be able to provide the link) there is a threat about cheating. I think it starts with something like "to all you Don Juan's..." and there is some good insight and information there - some of it conflicts with what I have said above, but by reading this thread and reading other people's opinions and beliefs and experiences, it may help you to look at your situation in a new way and make the decision that is right for you, and your fiancee. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 10, 2003 Share Posted July 10, 2003 Oops, I meant to say a "thread" about cheating, not a "threat" about cheating. Maybe that was a Freudian slip on my part! Link to post Share on other sites
pitprincess Posted July 10, 2003 Share Posted July 10, 2003 I think you should rethink about you be in a committed relationship, I say that because you selected to talk to him and you as well selected to tell him that you have feelings about someone else, rather he knew it was him or not. You went out, not only with others but you went (being honest) because he was going. Take some time before you get married and make sure your doing the right thing. There is nothing wrong with posponeing a wedding date when it is what most call the rest of their life. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
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