kimmyb89 Posted March 16, 2008 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I just found this out last night so I've been kind of freaking out about it.. My boyfriend of 4 months told me last night that, first off, he hadn't had sex with 3 people like he'd previously told me, he'd had sex with 8. That wasn't much of a big deal to me. What really got me was when he told me that before he dated me, he was dating and having sex with 3 girls at the same time. I was super shocked because, first off, he's SUCH a nice guy. He's the type of guy that everyone sees him as the safe, nice guy. He had also told me several times how much he hated cheating, so for him to come out and tell me that he was cheating on THREE GIRLS.. I was really shocked... I'd always believed the "Once a cheater, always a cheater" saying so it was weird for me to accept it as his past and tell him that I was glad he told me, that I still loved him, and that I'd trust him until he gave me a reason not to.. Honestly, the trust level did fall a bit but I think the fact that he told me will eventually strengthen the relationship. I also told him that if he ever did cheat on me that I wouldn't be so quick to forgive and that we wouldn't be able to go back to being in a relationship because I wanted to make sure that he understood that. I want to believe that he was being honest when he hid his eyes because he was crying when I told him I still loved him, told me that I was different, that he wouldn't have told me unless he was serious, that he was wrong and understood if I couldn't accept it, that he was a really bad person in the past and he understood if I was afraid of him being that person again (even though he assured me that he wouldn't). He was completely sober by the way and had apparently been worrying for a long while (since the first month) whether he should tell me or not... I heard this last part not from him, but from mutual friends that he'd been talking to for advice. I honestly just don't know. I never expected to be in this position. I've considered what to do if I'm ever cheated on, but I didn't think I'd ever have a boyfriend that would come to me and tell me that he had been a cheater in the past. It looked very painful for him to admit.. and he looked very scared.. So I want to believe him so badly but I just don't know how I should be dealing with this. Do you think I'm handling it well or do you have any advice? I'd really appreciate it so so much Link to post Share on other sites
Duck n' Bunnies Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 You said it yourself, "Once a cheater, always a cheater". Sorry... I've never seen it any other way... I had a boyfriend cry like that once after telling me something like that... but as far as I believe, tears are simply an emotional state of the moment, because it only lasted a year before things fell apart . Link to post Share on other sites
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