Author Cagney Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 So you are going to go after single women from now on, right? Yes, I promise to be good! Link to post Share on other sites
MimiMe Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 I appreciate that! I read it last night, and I think I've got the point from the book. That would be this: Concentrate on all the positive aspects, and what I'm going to actually DO now. There are a lot of cool things to think about. And avoid meditating on the negative. Sort of like: Do NOT think, "Oh dear ... I don't want to FAIL" (which will cause failure) But DO think, "I will succeed." (then you'll succeed) Energy flows where attention goes! That's right!!! you're my boy blue! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cagney Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 So you are going to go after single women from now on, right? I told this true story in another thread. It's ironic. I was having dinner at a favorite club not to long ago, still suffering from my MW, and met a very lovely girl at the bar. We were having a great talk together and she actually made me feel like she could (maybe) make me forget about things, like sooner rather than later. But after we talked for a long time, she said she could really like me but that she has to tell me that there is this ONE problem and she hoped I'd be OK with it. Need any hints? She told me she's married! But not HAPPILY married, of course, and (also of course) she's planning on getting a divorce real soon. "I hope that's not gonna' be a problem", she said. I told her I'm flattered but I don't date married women. Then she acted like that was even MORE of turn on (my integrity and all). She actually even tried harder. I said no way. (I'm BULGING with integrity ) Her final words were something like, "OK, but you'll regret this when you get older!" So I'm wondering ... Does an OM get a "scent" on him or something? If so then I need to run around out doors for a while and get the stink blown off me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cagney Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 That's right!!! you're my boy blue! Wait a second! This went over my head ... what does it mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Habibti Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Agreed- don't beat yourself up. You aren't a loser, when your therapist said something "wrong" I don't think that was at all the intended implication. That being said, I'm not judging your for being with a married woman- but, I can't help but feel that people who decide to have affairs with people wether they are married or engaged or in some other serious union with another person has some sort of masochistic tendancy going on. I.E - You allowed yourself to be devalued for seven years, you allowed yourself to be treated less than par. Possibly, the therapist was trying to get to the root of THAT just so you don't end up putting yourself back in that situation again. Just a stab in the dark though. She sounds like a real witch- be greatful she is gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cagney Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 ... I can't help but feel that people who decide to have affairs with people wether they are married or engaged or in some other serious union with another person ... You allowed yourself to be devalued for seven years, you allowed yourself to be treated less than par. Possibly, the therapist was trying to get to the root of THAT just so you don't end up putting yourself back in that situation again. Oh that IS where the therapist was going and I agree with it. I DID allow it, but I never will again. Link to post Share on other sites
MimiMe Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Wait a second! This went over my head ... what does it mean? Ever seen "Old School"? It is a quote by Will Ferrel from that movie. "You my boy blue! you my boy". Blue is a character in this movied played by the late Patrick Cranshaw. Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Yes, I promise to be good! Good man, cuz the next MW you would have ended up with just might be a card carrying member of the NRA and might want you to say hello to his lil friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cagney Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 Good man, cuz the next MW you would have ended up with just might be a card carrying member of the NRA and might want you to say hello to his lil friend. I'm not so sure that I'm out of the woods, that way, with her husband. I'm still agonzing over the decision to "get it all over with" and call him. I just got the idea of having a friend call and ask him if he WANTS to know the truth or if he'd rather NOT know. I understand that some might not want to know. I know that I would definitely want to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cagney Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 Ever seen "Old School"? It is a quote by Will Ferrel from that movie. "You my boy blue! you my boy". Blue is a character in this movied played by the late Patrick Cranshaw. Now I get it. I'm a little slow sometimes. So ... ummmm .... are you single Mimi ??? Link to post Share on other sites
MimiMe Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Now I get it. I'm a little slow sometimes. So ... ummmm .... are you single Mimi ??? YES SIR!!! :love:LOL! I'm still legally married to a douchebag that left me for OW... Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 We were in an affair for seven years and all along she promised that se will eventually get free. She didn't have the courage to have a sit down with her husband but instead she figured he would eventually leave her. Still she promised several times along the way that she would ask him for a divorce. She would make these promises whenever she sensed that I was getting strong enough to leave her. Our times together we intense and romantic. We never argued, with the exception of when I would try to communicate my pain and sadness over having her only part time. I never knew what a cake eater is until I started on this forum. And I can say that until recently, I figured she was a cake eater but she at least loved me. She frequently assured me of her love, that I was the only one who held her heart - all sorts of other promises and sweet talk that really kept me in the whole affair. It was sweet and intense. The best sex I've had in my life. I figured that she was really in to me but lacked courage to confront her husband. But during the seventh year, I began growing stronger and I wrongly assumed that the only way to shake her loose was to tell her that I WILL leave her if she's going to stay married. She believed me and said she'll need to go no contact for a while or she'll never break out of the habit that she "gets what she wants" from me without having to divorce her husband. She assured me that the NC thing was "all about us" and it will be brief, and asked that I please keep waiting. Of course, this is what I wanted all along, so of course, I promised to wait. There were only a weekly phone call during the NC thing and I began detecting a strange new distance, and I suspected she just found someone else. I started going crazy. Then about a two months into the NC thing, I busted her with her new boyfriend. Her reaction was - no communication, cold and hard when I called, and then a hang up. I later learned that she got pregnant with the new guy and subsequently lost the baby. Then I learned that her husband filed for a divorce, a few months ago. He is devastated. He's a mess emotionally, pretty much a broken man. I don't think he knows about the new guy or the brief pregnancy, but I know he suspects me. So now she's finally free, and I waited for seven years. But she's going with the other guy now and not me. My shrink has repeatedly tried to get me to see that there is something WRONG with me that I would stay in a seven year relationship with a married woman, knowing all along that it was not healthy. In other words, sort of a loser! But the doc is too nice to put it just that way. But a loser is what I have been. I trusted her and believed all her sh*t. I waited and waited and even made some major changes in my life, with huge decisions, all about "us" rather than for myself. My heart is broken. I've never felt pain like this in my life. It's been 5 months of pain so far and not even beginning to let up yet. I know it will though, eventually. My lesson is obvious and I know I don't have to spell it out for you. I took my chances by being the OM. I gambled on loving her and but she shot me down. She is cold, and hard and thoroughly able to take what she wants without any apparent concern over what damage or pain she causes. She's ruthless. I was very guilty the same way though wasn't I? I was willing to be part of her husband's devastation. I have no one to blame but myself. I played the OM, and I'm paying for it now. You know what the saying is, right? If they will Lie and cheat with you, they'll Lie and cheat on you! As far as hubby being a broken man and all, he probably wasn't an abusive man at all, AH! But she said he was!? What a LIAR! You know, you could contact her current lover, and inform him of what a lousy woman, or whatever she is! Not for revenge, but just to give him the heads up, why should she continue to hurt more people like this? People like her need to be alone! I guess Mr. Reality has payed you a serious visit! Learn from it! Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 I think you're right ... regrets ... just another way of being a loser. A winner can rise above it and move on. And I will! Yes, very likely ... eventually. Thanks! That's what I'll keep trying to do. Excellent! Sounds like you're one step ahead of the game Keep on movin' along now Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Oh no! I'm not angry with him. I just think that any young man is a little dumb to get a girl pregnant, he's not married to her, she's married to another man, etc etc. But that's another story. And the fantasy part??? That would have just been a "Jeddi Knight" trick (works on a weak mind) to keep the dummy in his seat long enough to make my exit. Don't steal my material! It's mine, all mine! And it's Jedi, not Jeddi. Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Wait a second! This went over my head ... what does it mean? :pIt means she wants you! Well, maybe not! As far as her above post goes about her still being married..... Keep on a movin Cagney! Don't stop with her! Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 (edited) I'm still legally married to a douchebag that left me for OW... That's really got to be messy! If you catch my meaning! By the way, is that really you in your avatar? If so, Your STBXH musta had one serious Brain Fart! Edited March 20, 2008 by Darth Vader Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cagney Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 I'm still legally married ... Then go away! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cagney Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 Don't steal my material! It's mine, all mine! And it's Jedi, not Jeddi. You go away too! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cagney Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 I'm still legally married to a douchebag that left me for OW... Seriously ... I'm very sorry that happened to you. And I hope you're able to move on too. I'll have to check out your posts and see if you have a story here. Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 You go away too! No! You might need some help! Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Then go away! Way to go! That's the way to do it! Link to post Share on other sites
MimiMe Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 That's really got to be messy! If you catch my meaning! By the way, is that really you in your avatar? If so, Your STBXH musta had one serious Brain Fart! :lmao::lmao:LMFAO!!! You guys are killing me!!! hahahahahahahah! I am dying here! Too funny. That is not me in the avatar but I look a whole lotta like Ms. Carey just that I am shorter. I am not kidding. If this was a "meeting" site, perhaps I'll post a real picture of myself but it's not safe here. LOL! Darth stop being a hater and such a c*ckblocker! Jeez! Some cyber love a can come out of all of this! Thanks Cagney! I'll holla at you once I am divorced... before the (Dark Forces come after us). lmao!!! My story is posted in bits and pieces while I have responded to others threads but never really wrote the whole novela out. Bottom line is I want nothing to do with that AHOLE! and she can have him! Link to post Share on other sites
MimiMe Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 No! You might need some help! ahhahahahaahahhhahaha!!!! You guys are something else!!!!! Gotta love it! 30 mins ago I was on the verge of crying and now I am here hysterically laughing at the two of you. :lmao: all we need is R2-D2 in the house! Link to post Share on other sites
TheRain Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Cagney and Mimi will be making babies. Link to post Share on other sites
MimiMe Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Cagney and Mimi will be making babies. Making babies is fun! Having them- not! Link to post Share on other sites
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