Citizen Erased Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 So, last weekend we were all helping my mum and brother move and my sister told me that she was going down to our father's, for our Uncle's birthday (he lives in the same state). My invitation must have been lost in the mail So, that to me is the last straw. If it wasn't enough he has to treat me and my brother like crap, but now not inviting me to family events, well I am just so done. **** him. He can now explain to his family why I will no longer be in the same room as him. To me, he simply does not exist. So, pretty much how it has been for the past 6 years for him. I refuse to let this person make me feel the way I do now. This is a build up of alot of crap, but now I am just going to let it go. I have deleted his numbers from my phone and his email from MSN. I will tell my grandmother and sister I do not wish to hear about him, nor speak to him. It will probably take him 6 months, probably more actually, to realise I am going NC with him (haha never thought I'd say that about a family member!), but eh I don't wish for him to hurt, just to simply disappear from my life. Shouldn't be hard, he hasn't been there for a long time now. Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Oh, coco! I am so sorry. You are a great girl, never allow anybody to put you down. Not even family. I think you made a wise decision. Don't be angry, just stop trying. Should he ever really change, you'll see about it then. But for now, he doesn't exist. (((((coco)))))) Link to post Share on other sites
AdrianaLima Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 It's a shame that people own family can put them through so much turmoil.But you'll be fine. Keep your head up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Citizen Erased Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 Thanks guys I'll keep you posted. I'm sure there will be more Coco family drama within the month Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Oh, coco! I am so sorry. You are a great girl, never allow anybody to put you down. Not even family. I think you made a wise decision. Don't be angry, just stop trying. Should he ever really change, you'll see about it then. But for now, he doesn't exist. (((((coco)))))) x3 + you're awesome and the way you posted it, you're through with him. Do you feel like this time, you just don't feel anything anymore? Sometimes it happens too many times, you think the last time would hurt even more but it doesn't - like you're immune to it, am I making sense? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Citizen Erased Posted March 20, 2008 Author Share Posted March 20, 2008 x3 + you're awesome and the way you posted it, you're through with him. Do you feel like this time, you just don't feel anything anymore? Sometimes it happens too many times, you think the last time would hurt even more but it doesn't - like you're immune to it, am I making sense? You're right, that is exactly how it feels. Now he no longer has the power to hurt me, I don't have to worry about it. I feel relieved if anything. Like 50% of the drama in my life has been cut out. I don't have to worry about what he thinks, why he does this and that. Very liberating Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 You're right, that is exactly how it feels. Now he no longer has the power to hurt me, I don't have to worry about it. I feel relieved if anything. Like 50% of the drama in my life has been cut out. I don't have to worry about what he thinks, why he does this and that. Very liberating That's good cause then you really could care less if anything happened to him. I can understand what you're going through cause my best friend went through the same thing. I wish her father would include her in his family get-together but nope, the only ones that get called all the time are her siblings. The thing is, she was the one - the only one - that took care of him when he was hospitalised for 2 months! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Now he no longer has the power to hurt me, I don't have to worry about it. Yes, it's called polite indifference I disconnected most the remaining members of my mother's family after she developed dementia mainly because they were always quick to offer advice but completely incapacitated when it came to offering help. They don't exist in my universe any more, though they were only marginally in it before. Personally, I'd rather be alone and be completely sure of my circumstance Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Keep on truckin', dc. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Don't feel bad Coco. I'm not close with my Dad either. He lied to me about too many things in the past that I can't trust him. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 I can be the father you don't have Coco Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 B4R, I can see you as the cool Uncle who is always drunk. Link to post Share on other sites
Melissalive33 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 im so sorry to hear that you are treated that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Citizen Erased Posted March 22, 2008 Author Share Posted March 22, 2008 I can be the father you don't have Coco I like the sound of that Thanks everyone, you're all so supportive, it's great. The thing is I really cannot speak to anyone IRL about this stuff because they have no idea what it is like, and I just get the feeling they were over giving me advice and comfort pretty much after my parents split up. I guess it was all used up then :rolleyes: Well, to keep you updated, I told my sister that I didn't wish any contact with our father, and she pretty much thinks I am overreacting. Not that surprised, she is his favorite so she has no clue whatsoever. And my mother is getting a sickening satisfaction, she sees it as me being on her "side" (after being separated for almost 8 years, they still hate each other how very lovely). Besides from that, I am good at the moment. And you're all so sweet, thanks guys Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Coco, I am really sorry that you are getting caught in the cross-fire. It's sad that your parents can not see what they are doing to you. If this is causing you so much distress, then, yes, by all means, stay away from your father. We have enough stress in our lives as it is. Hopefully, he'll see what he has lost and realize his mistakes. As for your mother, why not tell her that her attitude is bothering you? Marlena Link to post Share on other sites
Author Citizen Erased Posted March 22, 2008 Author Share Posted March 22, 2008 Thanks Marlena. Well, my mum is a difficult person to speak to. I love her, and I see quite alot of what she says of my father to be true. But asking her to shut her mouth about my father will just create problems between us, and I don't want it to. We didn't speak for almost a year because of her ex partner, and I love having her back in my life again. It doesn't really bother me that much, I have been put between them since I chose to live with mum instead of my father when I was about 14 so it's nothing new Alot of the problem with my father and I is that I am almost exactly the same as my mum I take it as a compliment, but well he hates her so hence the problem. Now, there is no problem, I have found the solution Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Now, there is no problem, I have found the solution It sounds like you love and admire your mother. If you say that the two of you are alike, then, she must be an amazing lady! Your father's double loss! You know, I wouldn't be surprised at all to find out that deep,down inside he may still be in love with her! Not that it really matters anymore. Just saying. If communication with your Dad causes stress, then, let it go for a while and give yourself some peace of mind. Luckily you have your mother. Marlena Link to post Share on other sites
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