Intentionally putting your GF in positions where she might cheat on you

[DrGilbertBrown]

I used to be a real jealous type with some of my former GFs. Looking back on it I see how stupid it was. I not only should have said it was okay for her to be in places where cheating on me was a definite possibility I should have encouraged it. If she's going to cheat on me then she is going to cheat on me. No sense in trying to hold back that inevitability. Might as well weed out the unfaithful than waste time. Right?

[Woggle]

If a woman doesn't have the self control to avoid temptation which is everywhere then I don't want her. A woman or a man for that matter makes trhe choice to cheat and if they won't make the choice not to cheat they are not worth your time.

[JackJack]

I used to be a real jealous type with some of my former GFs. Looking back on it I see how stupid it was. I not only should have said it was okay for her to be in places where cheating on me was a definite possibility I should have encouraged it. If she's going to cheat on me then she is going to cheat on me. No sense in trying to hold back that inevitability. Might as well weed out the unfaithful than waste time. Right?

 

Since you "USED" to be the jealous type, what happeend to make you no longer the jealous type?

 

Are you saying by your thread title that you have in the past set up g/f's to see if they would or would not cheat?

[DrGilbertBrown]

After coming to this realization and looking back at it I see how stupid my actions were.

 

I haven't done it, no, but it sounds like a good idea.

[Woggle]

In order to have a successful and happy relationship there must be trust and if you mistrust enough to feel the need to be jealous and controlling you shouldn't be with her in the first place.

[DrGilbertBrown]

Right, I agree with you there. Hence the reason behind putting your GF in situations like these. It's a little stress test. Like how engineers take products randomly off the factory line and test them at 200% or 300% what they're suppose to handle. If it fails then it just wasn't meant to be.

[twice_shy]

I used to be a real jealous type with some of my former GFs. Looking back on it I see how stupid it was. I not only should have said it was okay for her to be in places where cheating on me was a definite possibility I should have encouraged it. If she's going to cheat on me then she is going to cheat on me. No sense in trying to hold back that inevitability. Might as well weed out the unfaithful than waste time. Right?

 

I actually agree with this. If they are going to cheat, they are going to cheat. And if her going somewhere kind of helps bring that to the surface, I think its a good thing.

 

Like you said, you can weed out the worthless that way, break up and move on.

[whichwayisup]

If you have to constantly test your gf, then you're not enjoying the NOW and your relationship. Setting traps to see if she'll cheat on you is just insane.

[Trialbyfire]

People have valid points about trust. On the other hand, as a person who's been cheated on, what have you got to lose unless she/he finds out it's deliberate.

 

In effect, why buy a pig in a poke? Why not open the bag to see what it really is, before investing? As they say, buyer beware. Do your research.

Edited March 17, 2008 by Trialbyfire

[Rooster_DAR]

I'm starting to wonder if these open relationship people have it right, since it seems that someone always winds up straying anyway.

 

One of my favorite lines is from "Lord of War" where Nicholas Cages quotes:

 

"Since lies and deceit are where relationships wind up, I thought I would start there"

 

Cheers!

[Lizzie60]

I used to be a real jealous type with some of my former GFs. Looking back on it I see how stupid it was. I not only should have said it was okay for her to be in places where cheating on me was a definite possibility I should have encouraged it. If she's going to cheat on me then she is going to cheat on me. No sense in trying to hold back that inevitability. Might as well weed out the unfaithful than waste time. Right?

 

I agree... being jealous is stupid.. because as you say.. if she/he wants to cheat she/he will..no matter what.. so why being miserable about it.. I think that jealous people DO NOT keep their SO.. they drive them away... Confident, non jealous people have lesser chances to be cheated on..IMO.

[directx]

I wouldn't play games with relationships. Life is too short for that plus you can lose a lot of good friends that way. If you play with fire you will eventually get burned.

[Florida]

Fascinating thread, great points!

But- say that you let the other person do what they will as a test of sorts....who would ever know if they ever cheated?

 

It sounds like y'all are saying if they will do it, they will regardless and better to find out sooner.

 

Might as well weed out the unfaithful than waste time. Right?

 

It's not like they will tearfully confess at their own accord. Or do you trust your intuition so much?

How would you know? Really know ?

Edited March 17, 2008 by Florida

[AussieJack]

If you have to constantly test your gf, then you're not enjoying the NOW and your relationship. Setting traps to see if she'll cheat on you is just insane.

 

THis is no more "INSANE" than how women endlessly 'test' men.

[Woggle]

The best thing to do is be strong enough to kick her to the curb the minute she betrays me. If I commit to a woman she has my full trust but as soon as that trust is broken it is over and there is no looking back. If she knows that cheating will cut the connection for good she might think twice.

[Trialbyfire]

I was thinking a little more about the trust issue and overall, isn't it a little naive, similar to believing in magic and fairies, that you should put your entire trust in someone else, without doing your homework first?

 

Sometimes, emotions and hormones, over-rule common sense and good ol' fashioned gut instinct.