yes Posted July 9, 2003 Share Posted July 9, 2003 I know you guys aren't psychologists, but hear me out, please. My parents think that I'm developing with a delay. I'm 21, and they believe I'm mentally 16 or so (yes, they told me this). Apparently, this doesn't extend into the mind department - I'm 3/4 through my Bachelor's degree (most people in my courses are a year older than me by the way) - but they believe that emotionally/sexually, I'm about 16. I'm sure you can understand why I'm not very happy to hear this. Their reasoning is largely that 1 - i started dating late - at 18 or so 2 - i've always got along with them well, and now i'm starting to speak up & to want to be independent & that they feel they irritate me - sounds just like a 16 y.o. to them. i'm not sure how to handle this... They seem to generally dislike me, also - they always say "just a bachelor's" (it's 4 yrs of pretty hard work!! Even if they'd like me to do grad school, it doesn't mean bachelor's is crap), "you don't have any interesting people around you, why would you want to live alone, you'll be lonely and come running back home, it's a waste of money to move out for a month", they've also said that they think all my relationships so far are pathetic. What am I to do?... *sigh* -yes Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 9, 2003 Share Posted July 9, 2003 I think in an earlier post you'd mentioned that you're an only child ... my guess is because this is the first time they're experiencing a child about to leave home, they're coming up with all kinds of reason why your leaving the nest just isn't going to work. Though, in my experience (I'm youngest of six), it doesn't get any easier for them whether it's the first middle or last child preparing to leave home! my advice to you? Just try to be patient with them, and remain close to them. It sounds like they're going to need some level-headed leadership from you -- if you are upbeat or positive about your future, it tends to rub off on them, even though they still worry about your vulnerability in the big bad world. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamie31 Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 the only way to get your parents to stop this is to move out and simplynot let them know what is going on in your life. Then they will treat you like you are the greatest, most wonderful thing on earth. Trust me, this happened to my sister. As long as you are living at home, or even living somewhat close to them where they have easy access to finding out what is going on in your life, then they will continue to tell you how they feel about things and what you are doing wrong, etc. My best advice is to just move away and talk to them once or twice a week until they get better...and they will eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
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