Blue Raider Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 (edited) So... I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and we've had a pretty good relationship that's been beneficial for the both of us. This was my first "real" relationship and it's hard to let go, but I know it's the right thing for myself. She never really contributed much to me and I always did everything for her. I like affirmation and physical touch, but she does not function like that and doesn't see how I have to have it. I've sacrificed myself financially, socially, emotionally, and physically... all for her... and she can't even tell me she appreciates me. It took a while for her to tell me she loves me... and now she won't tell me that at all and it feels like we're friends. I still tell her I love her, but every day I get more annoyed and less interested in her and can't stand the pain she causes me from just seeing her. She says she won't be able to function without me and she doesn't want to lose me because I'm perfect... yet she can't figure out why she's doing this to me and she wants to leave me to make me feel better... yet she needs me... I'm confused. I'm letting her win... and just because I wrote this, I know what's right and what I need to do... Do I just need to have a clean break... or remain friends? P.S. I had a ring in layaway and we talked about how we could see us married... I took discontinued the layaway Thursday. That was the hardest things I've ever done. Edited March 17, 2008 by Blue Raider P.S. line Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Sorry, wrong girl. Next time, don't "sacrifice myself financially, socially, emotionally, and physically... all for her..." It's really not necessary in a healthy relationship. Or desirable. Crisp, clean end and NC. Sorry Link to post Share on other sites
wareagle Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 I agree with carhill. I was in the same situation with my ex. We also dated for a year half, she was not affectionate at all, but yet expected me to be all over her. When we went to bed at nite the first thing she would do is rollover with her back to me. If I didn't rub her back or touch her she would get upset. I tried to talk to her about how she wasn't showing me any love, but all I got was her saying I was a pussy, and needed to grow some balls, or I was to sensitive. Very seldom would she offer to rub my back or do anything of that nature. Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 she's not responding to what you need(saying i love you etc.),why would you want to marry her??there's plenty of women who'd love a guy ilke you. Link to post Share on other sites
wareagle Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Oh yea she would also tell me I was perfect, and the best man ever, she told me I was her soulmate, and then a week later she tells me how unhappy she is, and how we don't click. Women can be evil creatures sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
eagle5 Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Sorry, wrong girl. Next time, don't "sacrifice myself financially, socially, emotionally, and physically... all for her..." It's really not necessary in a healthy relationship. Or desirable. Crisp, clean end and NC. Sorry I think that's about right.....NC and time for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 Women can be evil creatures sometimes. I can tell you with authority that there is a whole world of women out there who are not like that. They're consistently evil Seriously, my wife and I may not currently be making marital bliss, but I have to give her credit for always being consistent. In fact, lack of emotion is at the top of our list in MC (it's a real problem for her). So, while your situation vacillated, at least there were glimmers of hope in the abyss Link to post Share on other sites
eagle5 Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 I can tell you with authority that there is a whole world of women out there who are not like that. They're consistently evil lol I hope there are a few good ones too!!! Where are they?? help!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blue Raider Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 Thanks for the help! So... Basically, I told her we needed to talk... So we talked. After an hour of tears and talking, I told her that I can't love somebody that doesn't love me and that I can't wait on her to figure out where the love and attraction went to. I told her that in a couple of weeks we might see how we feel, but I told her I wanted no contact with her so I can get her out of my mind and enjoy my friends and my independence. I had a very fun St. Patrick's day and today wasn't as hard as I thought it would be getting over her. I accepted the fact that this was going to end about a month ago, and a lot of women today was actually excited that I wasn't taken anymore... quite interesting actually. I'm not rushing into anything because I need time to heal, but I've purged everything that reminds of her out of my life. I'm still have slight withdrawals, but I realize that I can do so much better and actually find somebody that wants to love me... pretty great stuff! One last thing... she has my extra set of car keys and I need them back- anybody know a safe way to approach this?! lol Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 One last thing... she has my extra set of car keys and I need them back- anybody know a safe way to approach this?! lol I'd nicely ask for them back. I doubt there will be any resistance. If a newer car with electronic locks, contact the dealer/locksmith for alternatives if she doesn't cooperate. See, you just learned a positive lesson about why you have to be exceedingly careful who you marry. Trust me, car keys would be the most infinitesimal of my worries if I had done what you just did Good on ya, though. Nice work! Link to post Share on other sites
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