Prodigal Princess Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 I work in a high pressure job with long hours, and I absolutely love it. Unfortunately, I am also an extremely anxious person. I have pretty much been running on nervous energy ever since I was 14. The good part of this is that I always have loads of energy. The bad part, as far as my job is concerned, is that I cant help but show my anxiety. I recently got promoted and have a team of people to whom I delegate tasks and mentor. At this point in my job I should be quietly confident; instead, I doubt myself to oblivion and stress out over the smallest of tasks. Just this morning I literally ran a full lap of the floor (in heels!) trying to find a document which of course turned out to be on my desk. And was of no great importance anyway. I just wish I could be calm in the face of a crisis (actually; just calm when an email comes in that I wasnt expecting). This is especially so now that I am in a senior position and pretty much set the emotional state of my team. My boss made a point of this in my last performance review; his main criticism of me has always been my self doubt. I think the underlying problem, whch exacerbates the anxiety, is that I dont think I am good enough to be here. I've worked for this firm for 6 years now and have climbed up the ladder faster than most but I still feel that one day, someone is going to "find me out" and I'll be thrown out onto the kerb where I belong. I dont know if it is possible to get rid of this feeling, as I've had it since childhood (I'm deaf so had a horrible time in those years; I'm not sure whether that is relevant). I also dont know whether I can also just calm the hell down and have that "no worries" attitude that most my peers seem to have. So what do you think - is being cool, calm and collected a natural trait, or can it be learnt? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Talk to someone who is trained in dealing with anxiety. Somehow you need to slow down....And trust you and your abilities. Honestly, I loved reading your post because you have SO MUCH passion oozing from you! The type of counselling you can google and your City is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. I suffered from an anxiety disorder and found myself a wonderful therapist who helped me cope with my anxiety, my fears and she taught me a whole new way of thinking and handling everything. Trust me, you can learn about YOU. Grow as a person and gain that confidence that you DO have. Anxiety messes with the head, so please, look into talking to someone to help you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Prodigal Princess Posted March 19, 2008 Author Share Posted March 19, 2008 Thanks, I probably should see someone but I dont know when Im supposed to find the time... Weekdays are out (always at the office until late) and I hate being obliged to do things on the weekend. My mum suffered terrible anxiety for years and seems to be much better these days. Might have to just pick up the phone... Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Possibly being deaf did create within you a need to be TWICE as "prepared and perfect" as your hearing peers -- not that it resolves the issue, but sometimes knowing the origin can bring some comfort. I do know from personal experience that our, er, less-desired tendencies can definitely be converted...into whatever new behaviours we choose . It does take effort and practice but it can be done. For me, it was also about becoming absolutely conscious of my thoughts (like, "I'm not good enough" and "I'll get found out") and making sure I correct myself when I tell myself such wrong and useless things. Also, actively reminding myself that the people who promoted me are not idiots -- no WAY they would've done that if I really wasn't up to snuff!!! With your busy schedule, perhaps you can find a psychotherapist (CBT is a good suggestion) who offers telephone sessions? Also, it may be useful to find a mentor who can act as your cheerleader and supporter during those times you need to be reminded how terrific you are -- or hire a coach if there isn't a suitable mentor on the horizon. Your employer may be able to assist with either of these two options. Wishing you calm confidence and continued professional (and personal!) success. Link to post Share on other sites
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