Can someone explain this to me?

[TheseWounds]

I'll make this very short and to the point.

 

This has always been my experience with females.

 

 

I meet a girl. Compliments are given to no end. That I'm the best person that they've ever known, that I'm very smart, funny, talented, and that I'm better than any guy that they've ever been with. That I'm very serious about relationships, that I'd never do anything to hurt anyone, and that I'm definitely boyfriend material -- more so than they've seen in anyone.

 

Soon after, someone else is chosen in my place that is definitely no good for them. They have a very shallow relationship with them that is filled with sex, and I'm struggling to have contact with females at all.

 

 

Can someone explain why this always happens?

 

I don't understand the mentality, and I don't understand why this happens on a large scale. What's the reason for this?

Edited March 18, 2008 by TheseWounds

[xpaperxcutx]

Most females like a challenge. It's like wanting to date the bad boy types. Not only are they attractive, but they're appealing in their mysterious and sometimes brooding manner. We never know what they're thinking about and that help built and add intrigue and attraction.

 

Your friends say you are smart, funny, and talented, etc? Sounds like they've already placed in you in the friend zone. I, personally, would not compliment someone I'm interested with so many adjectives especially to to them directly. I've caught myself describing my close friends with those words.

[TheseWounds]

I understand that girls need a challenge, but I'm just not so sure as to why this mentality is pre-programmed into their nature =)

 

 

Now... There is in fact a great challenge with me that most seem to overlook. All it would take is a little getting-to-know me. I've presented this to one female in particular, so I'm going to wait and see what she says. What is this challenge?

 

 

I'm a single virgin of 22 years, by choice. I know what I want and need in a relationship, and there is no messing around or playing games with me. I refuse to give away -- what I've built up for this long to just anyone. The female in particular that I'm speaking of -- I told her that she has got some utterly serious work to do on herself before she even begins to think about being with someone like me, because of her circumstances. However, I must throw in the fact that I was very nice about it, and that I only care that she does better for herself, and that I'm here to help her with it.

 

 

I personally think that it was great of me to present this in the manner that I did, and that this is a challenge if I've ever seen one =)

[xpaperxcutx]

I understand that girls need a challenge, but I'm just not so sure as to why this mentality is pre-programmed into their nature =)

 

 

Now... There is in fact a great challenge with me that most seem to overlook. All it would take is a little getting-to-know me. I've presented this to one female in particular, so I'm going to wait and see what she says. What is this challenge?

 

 

I'm a single virgin of 22 years, by choice. I know what I want and need in a relationship, and there is no messing around or playing games with me. I refuse to give away -- what I've built up for this long to just anyone. The female in particular that I'm speaking of -- I told her that she has got some utterly serious work to do on herself before she even begins to think about being with someone like me, because of her circumstances. However, I must throw in the fact that I was very nice about it, and that I only care that she does better for herself, and that I'm here to help her with it.

 

 

I personally think that it was great of me to present this in the manner that I did, and that this is a challenge if I've ever seen one =)

That's not setting up the challenge, that's trying to mold the girl to fit your approval.

I applaud you on your stand on celibacy but that in no way proves a challenge to girls, it just scares some away. Because with with what society has repeatedly told us, we as human beings has to be as flawless as possible, from having the perfect body to plastic surgery etc. And men are not excluded from this. Women lusts after men who are confident, financially secure, and incrediblely attractive. And with the rate of premarital sex these days, men are expected to perform well in the bedroom to boot. It's unheard of these days to have alot of men remain virgins in their twenties, especially since it places them in the stereotypical category of being socially inept. Because it's been conveyed to us that if you don't lose your virginity, it must mean something's wrong.

Whatever the reasons, women are tentative to pursue a relationship with someone inexperienced in that department, because sexual relation is a contributing factor to keep the attraction alive in a relationship.

[Mary3]

May I say you might be being too nicey nice. Thats a killer for most women. We don't want a bad boy nor a nicey nice one.

We want a GOOD guy. That means he has some spice, he will fiercely protect us, he will passionately take us in the bedroom , and he never leaves our thoughts . We don't see him as a buddy pal , we see him as a Lion and we want him to stalk us down like prey and have his way with us

[TheseWounds]

Maybe I should tell them that I've chosen to remain a single virgin for 22 years because I know that I'm an absolute beast, and that I was always scared to have sex with someone until I was in a relationship, because when I finally am, the beast that I mentioned will manifest, and I'll literally sweep her off of her feet, go absolutely nuts, throw her on the bed and make sweet, sweet, passionate love to her like she's never had before, like Fabio, and treat her like an absolute queen?

 

 

This is actually true, kind of... And I'm not kidding.

 

Maybe it's just that I'm too scared to kind of show this side of myself and that I should?

[JCD]

How can you know what you're like in bed when you're a virgin? Maybe you're imagining who you like to be but in reality aren't. You should be yourself and stop thinking about being too nice or too bad or whatever. Just be yourself and the right girl will come along and you'll forget about molding yourself to fit the current girl's ideal guy. Imo, there is no such thing as a nice guy because humans are selfish so while you might think you're being nice to her, you are doing it for your own benefit so she would like you.