Far Behind Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 He deleted me on his myspace. I am sending the email. Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 What!? What is wrong with this guy...?! What does the email say? BTW, I am having a hard day today, too. Chin up. Link to post Share on other sites
Far Behind Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 As much as I love you and you said that you love me, that is not going to be enough to sustain this relationship. Your financial issues are honestly the very least of our worries. Your total lack of commitment to yourself is the heart of this. I know I get panicked at times, and I'm working on why that happens to me and finding out it's been a pattern all my life. Even if I was able to stop that sh*t completely, you would still have your problems with communicating and following through with what you say. I believed with all my heart that you loved me, but I don't think you can do anymore than that. Knowing as you did that I have a tendency to overreact and panic, I asked you to please call when you said you would and let me know when you are disappearing. Your email on Saturday was great because you did communicate and let me know that you needed alone time, and I really appreciated the effort that may have taken, though I know you were pissed off, too, when you wrote it. I never meant to piss you off, I just think the lack of trust and panic issues on my part fed into your issues, and we are just a mess and this is not meant to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Did you send it? He isn't worthy of you, BTW. No man is worth hurting this much over. (And, I know....easier said than done....I'm with ya, sister) Link to post Share on other sites
Far Behind Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Yep...sent and still unread. Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 He's a cad. And he's hurtful. Look at it this way (and I tell myself this on a daily basis), maybe it is best that we AREN'T with these men. They would forever keep us in their nightmare. Hard to believe, but true, nonetheless... Link to post Share on other sites
Far Behind Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 WA, he is worse than a cad, he is a piece of human garbage. that hurts to say, because I know I don't really want to think that. How can anyone be so deliberately hurtful? But you know what? I'm really ok, and there is a relief involved here, I just wish I would have sent the email earlier in the day before he would have taken me off of his stupid myspace page. And I had a feeling he would that's why I kept checking. I don't even use it that often. OMG, I'm angry, but I'm not crying and I think I may not cry at all, because he is so not worth it. HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME????? Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Right now, anger is good. It will fuel you away from him emotionally. And emotional distance is what you need. That is what we ALL need. Those of us who find ourselves in these less than stellar relationships need to disengage. And it is hard. I know. I, myself, am kinda in a fog cause my man very graciously let me walk away from him without so much as a whimper. Wow. What a hit to my ego. And this guy is nothing compared to me on any level you would compare us on. But still, it hurts. It hurts badly. I am with you, and support you, as are the others that are posting on this thread. Some people are just plain toxic. I would suggest that you pick up the pieces as quickly as possible because he (and my guy) aren't worth one more minute of our precious time. I do wish the heart would catch up with the head. That would make things so much easier, IMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
Far Behind Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Thank you so much, having you all here is great because it does get tedious and embarrassing talking about it to people in our lives, I think. He hasn't read the stupid email yet, but he hasn't deleted it either. I am still kind of in shock, but like I said, knowing that this nightmare is over is a great feeling. I just sent an email to my therapist telling him I sent the email to the guy. And as you saw, it was not a hateful one because that would serve no real purpose, either. I know that I will never contact him again, and I hope that if he ever contacted me I would have the stamina to not reply. HOW DARE HE!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Far Behind Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 He deleted it, motherf**ker. Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Keep on moving away from him. He is vile to do what he has done to you. He is subhuman. I just can't help but think of him as a colossal pr*ck. How dare he diss you in such a cowardly way? For crying out loud, be an adult, man! Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 He deleted it, motherf**ker. Sorry, I have been running my level head off these past few days and I am not up to snuff on your situation. What was your last contact with him like? Any angry words? Link to post Share on other sites
Far Behind Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 OK it was like this: Thursday night was the soul-baring night and I didn't get home until 4:30 in the morning. I know he never slept and went to work Friday morning. WE communicated during day on Friday, and he called me when he left work Friday night, then said he'd call me from home, which he didn't. I thought maybe he fell alseep. I had told him I had to go to the eye doctor which is where he lives and would call him Saturday. I IM him Friday night and ask what he thought about going w/ me and the kids to a movie but he didn't respond. I sent an email saying I didn't call in case you fell asleep, but I'll call when I go to the eye doctor. I called the first time and he didn't answer, around 10:30. Called again close to 11 and I woke him up. He said he'd call later. When I got home I was feeling weird and I emailed him and noticed he deleted it, so I unsent it. Then I got an email from him telling me that I was being pushy (huh?) and to stop and think about what I was doing or I could run him away again (again, huh?). I replied saying I wasn't trying to be pushy and to please bare with me, etc. Typical bs stuff we do. I also sent a card that said please don't give up on us. the card was never opened. That was Saturday. Last night I IM him that I felt awkward, didn't know if I should say hey or not, so...hey. Again, no response. I made the decision after I had been to counseling yesterday that I was going to send the email. I tried to draft it last night but couldn't get it right. I did it this morning before work but left it as a draft so I could think about it, and I didn't want to send it at work cuz that would just have been nasty I thought. Tonight, I noticed he had deleted me off myspace. I tweaked my email and fired it off. He has deleted it. So...as a friend just said to me, at last, closure. The insanity of the past 3 months is finally over. Stick a fork in me, cuz I AM DONE!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 You deserved a f*cking phone call at least. What a coward! The best revenge is living well. Do it. Don't ever look back. This man isn't worthy enough to clean your shoes. I wish him luck in the rest of his pathetic life. He is gonna need lots of it. And as for you... You showed class. Keep it up. Don't ever contact him again. I bet a million dollars he is expecting you to call him. DON'T. Let him revel in your self control. Show him you are made of more than him. Be better than him. WA Link to post Share on other sites
Far Behind Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 oh...and now I want to write and say F*ck You!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Far Behind Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 we crossed paths...I won't do it. I just wish i could, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Question: How can you know that he deleted your email without reading it first...? (I'm a computer illiterate...) Link to post Share on other sites
Far Behind Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 (edited) when you send from an AOL account to an AOL account you can tell the status of the message. It would be marked read, unread, or deleted if he just clicked delete w/out opening it. Dickhead! Also, you can unsend and email that way. Part of me wants to unsend it, because if he was so rude as to simply delete it, if he decides to go back later and read it, let it be gone. But he's seen me do that before, so it wouldn't have the same impact. I'm just gonna have to let this one go. Who was it that wished bird poop on all their heads? Let mine be at the very front of the line!!!! Edited April 2, 2008 by Far Behind Link to post Share on other sites
Mouldylocks Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 You can also look in you 'recently deleted' email and retrieve it...... He may do that. Not that it matters though. What matters is that he deleted it - and knows that you'll be able to tell he deleted it. That's just so pathetic and cowardly. You know, I don't think any of us are talking about stupid young guys here. All these men are mature. Mine is 42, for goodness sake. And he broke up with me by email?! I haven't actually spoken to him via any other medium since. He never answers his phone, so no point in calling him either. It's 1.30am here and for the 3rd night running, I can't sleep. Last night, I eventually fell asleep at 6am, only to wake again at 10. I've struggled with bouts of insomnia for months and months - long before the break up - but it's getting out of hand again. I don't know - I have all this horrible family stuff to deal with, a break up too. I'm grieving the loss of my family and the man I loved. Gimme a break! Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Yep, you are right. Mine is 40 freaking years old. But you know what? They are gonna end up all crusty and alone. They will NEVER be different with any new woman. Heck, they don't even have the realization that they have done anything wrong! So, rest in knowing that the cycle will continue over and over and over. Be glad that you are out of it even though it hurts right now. (I know I sound strong, but that is all I have left...my strength. And if I lose that, I am in a world of hurt....) I am glad that we have each other to talk to. It helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Far Behind Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Not that i'm advocating it, but thank goodness for xanax these past couple of weeks. The funny thing is, I was so close to being healed when he reappeared just before my birthday. I don't feel like I will ever go as low as I was in January and that's a good thing. I know he can still read it, that's why I didn't unsend it this time. That's what I did on Saturday and it pissed him off. NOt that I think that warrants his stupid cowardly bs that he has pulled tonight. Goddamn it I want to scream at him, but I won't, of course. Another xanax night for sure, because at least that way I probably won't dream. I just don't want to cry anymore. I cried so much in January and February. I have lost so much weight, which I am NOT complaining about. He should have been good for something, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Mouldylocks Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Of all the men, in all the world.......why did I end up with an emotional retard? Hmm. Probably because I was (past tense) one too. Only difference is that I've taken massive steps in growing emotionally. I don't know if he ever will. He just buries himself in work. I wish I could convince myself that I'm better off out of it, but like the rest of you, I saw the sweetest, most loving side of him. When he wasn't being an @rse. And he wasn't an @rse all that often - and when he was, it invariably turned out that he was stressed about something completely unrelated to me. I could drive myself completely crazy, so I guess I better try not to think about it anymore tonight. Not if I want any sleep at all, that is. Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Try to sleep. It will do you good. And you know, you should listen to me.... I am, of all things, a heart nurse. (How appropriate, huh?) Link to post Share on other sites
Far Behind Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 OK, then what is the answer to that age-old question: How CAN you mend a broken heart? Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Oh I wish I had the cure for that type of heart problem. I would be a millionaire if I had that answer. Unfortunately, I fix broken hearts that can be mended.... Link to post Share on other sites
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