How do I forgive! long post sorry!

[enidcoleslaw]

My story is a little bit silly as I am not married and have only been dating my boyfriend for 8 months. I'm sorry this is going to be long but our back story is kind of different.

 

We met in July and had an amazing relationship until the end of September (I know it was the honeymoon period) when he moved to China for work. Even though I was still in school we agreed that I would move out there in January to be with him. Since we pretty much agreed that we were soul mates we planned our future, discussed when we would get married and the logistics of when I would finish school.

 

While he was away we spoke every night and every morning for 2 hours at a time. Everything seemed perfect. When I got here in January I basically went through 3 weeks of hell. He told me this was all too quick for him, he'd never been in such a committed relationship or lived with anyone (he is 24 and I am 26) and that he wasn't sure he wanted me to be there (keep in mind I had just moved to China from NY). Within a few days he told me had a developed strong feelings for a coworker but swore up and down that nothing had happened between them. I stuck it out and after around 3 weeks he told me that it was basically all just a mental crisis between his desire to continue being single as he'd been for so long and the desire to be with me and he realized she just represented the type of girl he would want to be with if he was single.

 

As crazy as it all sounds after that he became amazing again. He treats me like a princess all the time, he is attentive, he brings me presents, he asks me to meet him during his breaks at work for lunch and speaks to me on skype while at work. He has cut off all communication with her (I know this is true because I know his other coworkers) and only communicates with her via email at work.

 

HOWEVER a month after everything turned he admitted that he had in fact cheated on me with her twice. One time was only making out and the other time happened while he was extremely drunk (which I know because he had the nerve to call me in NY while she was in his apartment). I'll avoid the gory details, but they didn't have intercourse (though he pretty much admitted this was just because they didnt have condoms).

 

So if you've made it this far I really appreciate it. My question is am I being unfair for being as hurt as I am. I know it could be so much worse but it haunts me every moment of every day. As I said he treats me wonderfully but I feel so betrayed. He was my one true love and I had a relationship to be jealous of. I really really do want to forgive him but I just don't know how.

 

Thanks to anyone with any advice and once again I really appreciate if you've read all of this.