danandlea Posted July 10, 2003 Share Posted July 10, 2003 hi, im new here, i was looking for somewhere to turn in order to recieve help and advice. i have recently been given the elbow from my girlfriend of over 3 years, we started off going out at the age of 14, she was so in love with me and couldnt bear to let me go home of an evening. we have loved each other for over 3 years and one day she says we shold call it off, i found it hard for a week to let go just one little bit because she insists that i have done nothing wrong. she has recently left school and gotten a full-time job. she syas she wants to be single and to go out and enjoy herself but i have never ever stopped her from enjoying herself outside of our relationship. she says that i will get over her in time but i know that deep down my heart can never know another girl. we had everything planned, most of them were her plans and she would go all wobbly at the knees at the thought of getting engaged n a couple of yrs, i just dont understand how the girl of my dreams can stop loving me practically over night. we still see eaCH other maybe once or twice a week and i have often poured my heart out to her but she just snubs me and says sorry you cant change my mind. please can anybody help me as i feel so empty inside and fear that she could never love me again. i cant bear to be without her and at one time a week ago i knew that she couldnt be without me either. thanks Daniel Link to post Share on other sites
snoopdawg Posted July 10, 2003 Share Posted July 10, 2003 Dan, I know its really hard for you just now but you got to give your gf space, shes made her mind up and although it happend quickly there is prob nothing you can do to change it (sorry). She will feel further trapped if you keep contacting her, who knows perhaps once shes had a while to think about it she might come back. You cant dwell on this thought though as you will only cause more pain for yourself. Concentrate on yourself, please yourself, youve plenty time to find someone - sometimes happens when you least expect it !!! take care Link to post Share on other sites
Author danandlea Posted July 10, 2003 Author Share Posted July 10, 2003 i cant just let her go, i have oved her for so long and i know its just a phase, everyone says give her room and she will calm down. i need her in ,my life, we have shared so much in commen and i cant ever forget that, its easy saying move on but i cant because i dont want to. i love her and i always will i know it makes me hurt but i have nothing else to do in my life, i have tried to enjoy yself bt i kant!!! Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 10, 2003 Share Posted July 10, 2003 You are right. You will not be able to do anything, anything at all. That is the attitude you are showing. Based on your original post you are what 17 or 18? Time to grow up and realize that there is a big wide world out there. Time to realize that along with all the joys and pleasures and happiness out there, there is also pain and dissapointment. Get used to it - you will experience all of these things in life. Stop dwelling on her - accept that it hurts, and its going to hurt for a while, but also know that the hurt will stop. Go out with friends now. Find some new hobbies. Are you going to college? Look at it this way, we all go thru a first love and first heartbreak. Your going through yours now and the hurt will pass -- sooner than you think. Link to post Share on other sites
stace Posted July 10, 2003 Share Posted July 10, 2003 I think you should give her a bit of space. I know its hard, but maybe she feels like she is missing out on something because you're both young. She probably wants to go out and enjoy herself without being tied down. I think that you should leave her alone for a while. Dont call, email, or meet her. Concentrate on living your own life. She will soon realise that the single life aint as fun as its said to be, and will miss the company, understanding and intimacy of a relationship. You cant stop loving someone over night, it takes time, believe me. Its been 4 months since I split with my ex, and I still aint over him! But if its meant to be, then it will be. Just let her live her own life for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author danandlea Posted July 10, 2003 Author Share Posted July 10, 2003 its really hard, she wants to be friends, but when i think of her (24/7) i just have this warm feeling inside that has been there for years, i know im 17 but im a mature 17, we are so good together and have never tied her down to stay with me, i ahve never been nasty to her, never sworn at her, i have always respected that she needs her own personal life and have never stoofdi in her way, i know that she gets on better with boys and allyways has. i know this and have let her socialise with who she wants and when she wants. its gonna take time but its time i dont need, she didnt give me time prove that we can work through this just like we have alot of things. every one that has known us for 3 years and more keep saying that its whats goin on in her life that has gotr between us and i understand that too. she recently quit school, quit her part-time job and moved into a long - hours full time job. recently her mum has been taen ill and i belive this has all got on top of her and had no where to turn. what i dont understand is that she can say she wants to be single , and not give me any real reason, she feels guilty when going out withoput me but i cant think why because i have never stopped her. thanks for the adbvise, more would be thouroughly appeciated thanks, im so empty i have tried to et involved in football and other things but all i can think about is how she is feeling, what she is going through and how i cant do anything to help as she no longer wishes mre too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author danandlea Posted July 11, 2003 Author Share Posted July 11, 2003 i really do not want to be member of the "space club" because it hurts but then if i do not become a member i will surely lose the one woman i have ever cared about, its so confusing. even all this mess has not put me off our relationship as i believe so strongly in this, i have never felt so sure about anything in my life!! Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted July 11, 2003 Share Posted July 11, 2003 Dude, you are standing on the edge of adulthood. How many of us would love to be in your shoes? Lots! Don't waste another day crying over puppy love. Figure out your life, your dreams of what you want to be. Plan on university or getting a career (not just a job). Plan on meeting wonderful, nice, intelligent people not matter where you go. If she is meant to be with you, it will happen, but in the meantime... Get out and see what the world has to offer you. Be the best you can be, and everything will come to you. Alice Cooper wrote a song called I'm Eighteen... Lines form on my face and hands. Lines form from the ups and downs. I'm in the middle without any plans. I'm a boy and I'm a man. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamer Posted July 11, 2003 Share Posted July 11, 2003 Dan, You know I realize that you are going through a hard time, but you need to go out and have fun. Its probably not what you wanna do right now, because all you probably wanna do is stay in your house all day and cry.. But I'm wondering if your ex-girlfriend perhaps got cold feet. I knwo that I'm in love with my boyfriend and we've been going out for 9 months, but there are times when I start wondering what my life would be like if I wasnt with him.. I'm not sure if you understand what I'm trying to say, cause I dont think I'm explaining it correctly, but basically what im trying to say is that maybe she decided to see if that was as good as it gets.. Link to post Share on other sites
yagottahelp Posted July 11, 2003 Share Posted July 11, 2003 Ok, i'm not a huge amount older, but i'm almost 21. I too have been with a girl for a little over 2 years. I have a few relationships under my belt, so I've learned maybe a little more, maybe not. Well see we go to college together now, we will be juniors and broke up kind of in april. She's my bestfriend, and I love her so much, not to mention super attracted, we were going through hard times with some stuff with our families, it got to the point we worried about what was going on in our lives instead of what movie we were going to watch together. We started off being distant, for a few weeks, but we spent more and more time together, we're to the point where we are ready to get back together, but haven't yet-we act like we're together minus kissing and stuff. Here's the problem, she feels she's missing out on life a little, sure I've never ever held her back, she doesn't want anyone else, she wants to make sure she isn't missing anything kind of. Don't get me wrong, I can't predict the future, we're still in love, and I have a really good feeling we'll get married. We were at the point in the relationship where we either got married, or broke up for at least those few months and see what happens, almost like a test. . I mean seriously, I would love to, but it wouldn't probably be wise to date someone like i did senior year of high school, all of college, then get married after school, without ever being with anyone else, meeting new people, and being contstantly with each other. her feelings of wanting to try new things are better to be satisfied now, then 4 years down the road or something in marriage. Here's my long winded point, you both HAVE TO be with other people, try new things. I know it sucks, it just has to happen. So go on with life, stay close to her if she lets you. When the time comes, if it was meant to happen, it will. Link to post Share on other sites
Author danandlea Posted July 11, 2003 Author Share Posted July 11, 2003 i nderstand what you are all syaing, 1, its not PUPPY LOVE, its real. 2, i dont want any1 else 3, she doesnt either as she told me she didnt ever 3, i never stopped her going out or being herself 4, im confused about her life not mine 5, she is my plans 6, im sorry if it seems you are wasting your time on me, honest your not Link to post Share on other sites
dreamer Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 hey dan, im not saying its puppy love!! im sure that you do love her and a lot!! but you need to move on, and get on with your life and if its really meant to be then you two will end up together again!! Trust me!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author danandlea Posted July 12, 2003 Author Share Posted July 12, 2003 i know i know but when you say "move on" you mean...? i am willing to back off and wait for her to decide what she wants, i have known her for 3years and this isnt the girl i love and know, she has had way too much to cope with over these few eeks and i am here to support her, more so to love her for when she settles, thanks matey Link to post Share on other sites
dreamer Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Well if she's been going through a lot lately, then maybe she's just really frustrated and she probably cant handle a boyfriend right now, thats exactly how i feel sometimes...But its times like that when you realize who the people that love you and care about you really are.. And I'm glad you are there supporting her!! Im damn sure she appreciates it too.. Hopefully she will soon realize that you guys are meant to be.. Good Luck Dan!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author danandlea Posted July 12, 2003 Author Share Posted July 12, 2003 im reaLLY SCRED THAT SHE THINNKS IM A PUSHOVER, she is often moody and stressy towards me as she doesnt really have anyone else to have a go at (to relieve stress) i have often been told by her parents that we r meant o be as so many times any normal boy would have walked away from her because they would have had enough of her. i believe that she has been through enough in her life and the last thing she wants is some1walking out on her so i learnt to love her for the way she loves me. all in all everytime she got stressed she always appologised and we are ok, but now im scared that she thinks that i am just gonna let her go and take her back after she has tried new thngs. i will take her back no matta what but she knows this. that is why im scared that she may take longer to realise what we had was unique and special to the both of us. im still confused!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author danandlea Posted July 12, 2003 Author Share Posted July 12, 2003 im actually feeling kinda suicidal at the mo, hoping that if something really bad happens to me now that she may realise how close she was to losing me altogether but i really know it may not work out that way, kind of a last resort????!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamer Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 lets try and be reasonable Dan, think of all the people that you would be hurting!!! is that what you really want!!!??? Link to post Share on other sites
yourfriendsam Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 DONT LEAVE DAN WE LOVE YOU! Link to post Share on other sites
Patty Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Call an emergency hotline for help.Now! Patty Link to post Share on other sites
Author danandlea Posted July 12, 2003 Author Share Posted July 12, 2003 i just cant go on knowing i failed her somewhow Link to post Share on other sites
sum yonguy Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 No its not your fault! It cant be if she dumped you. She has the problem... Plz dont go! well goodbye... Link to post Share on other sites
Patty Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Please call a emergency hotline.They will be able to help you.Dont give up! Patty Link to post Share on other sites
Author danandlea Posted July 12, 2003 Author Share Posted July 12, 2003 she means the world to me, i often tell her that and she loves it, i say it now and i get a weird spaced out response tis all too much for me, i need her in my life, all people telling me to grow up and get over her, I CANT DO IT, :-(((((((((( Link to post Share on other sites
Patty Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Yes you can do it.As long as your alive things can change.Please we care about you!!!! Patty Link to post Share on other sites
Author danandlea Posted July 12, 2003 Author Share Posted July 12, 2003 no one no's me, im all alone and scared, scared of why she has gone, i try to fae her and ask her and she says the same thing every time Link to post Share on other sites
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