What does she really means?

[New]

There's a girl (at high school) who:

 

• Keep sitting close to me (really close, until our knee touches)
  
• Try to get (mostly) all group work to be in 1 group with me
  
• Give me a considerably more attention
  
• Stare at me a lot
  
• Try to keep the conversation going
  
• Start to touch my shoulder when talking to me (which she doesn't do to other guys)
  
• Try to walk together (mostly) all the time
  

I like her, but I don't know whether she likes me or not. So, I tried to propose to her to be my girlfriend. But she said, "I see you as a friend". The next day, she's really cold to me. Never replied my sms, doesn't want to answer my question (about schoolwork). She almost tried to ignore me completely.

 

What do you think she really means? I'm really confused.

 

• She need more time
  
• She really wants me to be just her friend
  
• Other...
  

Thanks.

[yongyong]

you blew it. when girls send those signals, you should've responded by sending similar moves.

I think you chose to be HONEST and DIRECT. It was your big mistake

[LikesMeNot]

you blew it. when girls send those signals, you should've responded by sending similar moves.

I think you chose to be HONEST and DIRECT. It was your big mistake

Thank you yongyong! that's true. When she shows that kind OF SIGN, you're supposed to ease into it, not come on out and hit her with brutal honesty

[New]

you blew it. when girls send those signals, you should've responded by sending similar moves.

I think you chose to be HONEST and DIRECT. It was your big mistake

 

Of course, I did that for months (sending similar moves).

 

------

 

Sorry, I want to make a correction (I can't edit my post ):

I think "propose" is not a proper word for what I did. I just told her how I feel, I didn't propose. (Sorry, I just remembered what happened ) However, do you think it's the same?

 

So, what should I do next? Just let her go & forget her (I hope this is the last option)? apologize? or ...?

 

Btw, this is my first time (to really like someone) and I'm really new to this (that's how I chose my username ). So...., I know I was stupid at this & I hope I can learn more from you...

 

Thanks.

Edited March 22, 2008 by New

[Moon Ram]

At first she was attracted phycically to you. When you came over to strong by confessing your feelings, she got scared. You should forget her. Next time if something like this happens, don't confess your feelings to her.

[Lovegod]

When you want to tell a woman you like her, NEVER do it with words. You must do it with your actions and body language.

 

Keep sitting close to me (really close, until our knee touches)

 

When this happens DO NOT move your knee. Instead let her touch your knee all she wants. This is actually one of the most obvious signs that a man will miss. The knee touch is just that - TOUCH. She wants to touch you. Therefore, you may touch her back - and DO touch her back!

 

Give me a considerably more attention

 

When she does this, try to back away a bit as if you were teasing her with your attention. The chase is one of the parts that women seem to enjoy when they meet someone they like.

 

Start to touch my shoulder when talking to me (which she doesn't do to other guys)

 

Again, she initiated the touch. She wanted you to touch her back.

 

So, I tried to propose to her to be my girlfriend.

 

No no no NO!!! You tell her "I'm going to xxx next week. Wanna come?.... Great, give me your number and I'll get in touch with you." NEVER try to establish a relationship before the first date. Establish a relationship after a couple of months.

[New]

When you want to tell a woman you like her, NEVER do it with words. You must do it with your actions and body language.

 

done this for months

 

When this happens DO NOT move your knee. Instead let her touch your knee all she wants. This is actually one of the most obvious signs that a man will miss. The knee touch is just that - TOUCH. She wants to touch you. Therefore, you may touch her back - and DO touch her back!

 

of course.... I didn't move my knee... and I did touch her back

 

When she does this, try to back away a bit as if you were teasing her with your attention. The chase is one of the parts that women seem to enjoy when they meet someone they like.

 

Yes, I did this already...

 

Again, she initiated the touch. She wanted you to touch her back.

 

OMG, I forget about this one... (it's ok, it's only one mistake.....)

 

No no no NO!!! You tell her "I'm going to xxx next week. Wanna come?.... Great, give me your number and I'll get in touch with you." NEVER try to establish a relationship before the first date. Establish a relationship after a couple of months.

 

Done this A LOT..... She accepted some... And we enjoyed it...

 

UPDATE: Current Situation

 

It's been more than a week since that happen... So, here's an update... Since she tried to ignore me (in the past few weeks)... I tried to do the same (ignoring her - I know, I'm crazy ) but I still caught her starring at me several times.

 

Until one day.... I think she really missed me.... She called me (not a phone call, she just called me) & tried to start a conversation (with a very stupid topic, which I know she's not interested in).... And now she want to talk to me again...

 

 

So, any advice?

[Starla]

oooohhhh....this brings back memories!! :laugh:

 

when i was at school, many moons ago, there was a guy i had the major hots for, called frankie!! he looked like michael jackson in his thriller days, you know, before he wrecked himself. anyway, i used to gaze at him, fantasise about him, had a severe case of mentionititis boring all my chums...until one day, a miracle happened!! he came up to me, and told me he liked me, and asked me out!!

 

WELL!!!!!!!!!!! i rolled my eyes, folded my arms, and looked away...with a totally bored look on my face!!! this object of my lust had taken me by total surprise, and freaked me out...my fantasy had become reality, and i just couldn't deal with it. i made a HUGE mistake...and was soooooooooo embarrassed and annoyed that i stayed out of his way completely!!! i still really liked him...but i felt that ship had sailed..and it was my own darn fault!!

 

my advice is, let her back into your life, but slowly so that you don't freak her out!! she sounds like she has the hots for you pretty bad, but it has to be at a pace that she is comfortable with. she has put you on a pedestal, and it is soooooo hard to deal with fantasy becoming reality, especially when it's a bolt from the blue - i mean, let's face it, you were pretty direct!! :) hang in there, take it slowly, put her at her ease, and stop playing games, both of you!! all this moody staring must be driving you both crazy!!

[Portage]

games games games....Too bad you can't just be yourself.

 

I believe in honesty and if the other can't handle the truth...oh well, ces't la vie baby!!

[New]

Well, she started the "game"...

 

She tried to make me jealous (although I'm not a kind of person who got jealous that easily), she ignored me, then she touched another guy and talked to another guy (in a "special" way and she did those things in front of me )...

 

Well, I did mostly the same (ignored her, touched another girl, talked to another girl in a special way and I did those things in front of her)... and the result is: I could see it from her eyes that she was jealous, maybe this what made her stop the sick game.... I know that she's a kind of person who got jealous easily, so making her jealous is not a hard thing to do (but I still need to control myself, not to do it too far)... Honestly, I'm sick of this sick game too... (although it's fun - just joking)

 

Anyway, I soon found out that there's a bigger problem.... Since she got jealous easily (and I can't do much about that) even when we're not yet in a 'real' relationship, I think it will create problems when we're in the 'real' relationship.

 

Any advice/comment about this?

Edited March 29, 2008 by New

[Starla]

listen - she is acting like this now because you both are playing games. if she was in a secure relationship with you, she wouldn't feel the need to be jealous, so the fact she is now means very little...other than how much can you two really care about each other if you are happy to play with each other's emotions like this!!!

 

if you are as sick of the games as you say, stop playing them.

[New]

So, for the mean time, what should I do? Just keep waiting or take an action (like ask her out/something)?

 

and.... Lets say I met her while walking, what should I do? smile? say 'hi'?

[carhill]

Upthread, read "I'm going to xxx this weekend and I would love for you to join me".

 

This is all hormonal. Perfectly normal. Try to remember there is some "school" in all the mix

[Starla]

you two seem to have got into a way of acting, that it's almost automatic. staring at each other, trying to get each other's attention, playing subtle little games...but the fact is, it's getting you nowhere. neither did asking her out. sooo..time for a different tactic.

 

she is obviously into you...there is something about you she really likes!! so you just have to keep being who you are! if you keep up with the games, you aren't being the person she fell for, and there is a chance she will decide it's not for her, after all - and that would be a pity, coz there really does seem like there is chemistry here.

 

create opportunities in a relaxed environment, where you can see her and chat to her, and do your best to put her at ease. have a few jokes at the ready...prepare a few topics of conversation, like last night's tv, or the last football game - when the conversation is flowing you will find it easier to naturally ask her to join you for coffee, or to go for a walk, anything.

 

the most important thing is to keep it chilled - i feel sure she freaked out the last time!! and remember, she likes you for YOU, so don't change that.

[New]

OK, I stopped that sick game already (few days ago)... How about if next week she start it again... What should I do?

[Starla]

the reason she's doing this is to get your attention!! to make you notice her.

 

if you are able to, make opportunities where you can be REAL - talk to her, keep it casual, but TALK!!! you two will be ninety years old and still gazing at each other if you don't take the next step lol!!

 

ok so you've stopped the games...you'll find that she just naturally stops playing games too, as there won't be a need. she'll have your attention and hopefully you two can take it forward!!:)

 

remember, a wise man makes more opportunities than he finds!! make the chance to go up and chat to her. things will flow from there.

[New]

Ok, I'll try to start some conversations... and (hopefully) ask her out...

 

I'll inform you the result

Edited March 30, 2008 by New

[carhill]

Erase the "hopefully" part and just do it.

[New]

Oh yes, sure I will Today I met her again. And again, she started a discussion with a topic which I know that she's not really interested in. Just wait until I ask her out I'll keep you all informed

 

Thanks.