6-7 months on and i am feeling much better...

[SmileyFace82]

Hi everyone,

 

I'm not sure if anyone is familiar with me but i joined the forum in November after breaking up with my ex in September. I haven't visited these pages for a while and i remember people helping me a lot back then so i feel like i should come back on and tell my short story. Hopefully some people will read this and realise there is light at the end of the tunnel. I was in a bad way after the break up and it lasted for a few months. I made a lot of mistakes and at the time i was thoroughly depressed and on the brink of just giving everything up. I felt like it was the end of the world, i felt like there was nothing to live for as my girlfriend at the time had left me for another guy, the woman i thought i loved and meant the world to me.

 

Now lets fast forward to March, approximately 6 months later. It would have been our anniversary had we stayed together and i imagined myself to be sad and lonely and miserable but i'm not like that at all. I have a new girlfriend who treats me better than my ex ever did and i'm now able to be myself and have a laugh with my current gf, much more so than i ever did with my ex. Now, this isn't a "slag off my ex" post at all, i truly loved my ex. I thought she was the girl for me, and i'll be lying if i said that i have no feelings for her anymore. But the true test for me came the other night. A friend of mine had received news that my ex has got engaged to her bf (the guy she left me for). Instead of being angry, upset, mad or any of these kind of emotions, i was actually relieved, happy for her and pleased. I was really surprised by the way i was feeling, but i looked over and saw my current gf and i smiled. This is the point i realised i had moved on... I am so happy with what i have right now... my current gf actually makes me feel like a better person.

 

I'd only really started to get back on track after the new year...i sulked, drank and talked people to death until 2008 was upon us. I made a lot of steps towards the right direction and all this led to me meeting my current girlfriend. People around me had noticed the difference, i was feeling happier and more chatty and this all did me good. Even when i didn't feel it, i pushed myself to go out and socialise. I pushed myself to meet new people. And gradually i got better and gradually i was able to be myself again. Now don't get me wrong, i'm still very cautious with everything, especially after my bad break up of last year. But i have learnt just to be happy and to live each day to its fullest and things with my gf are going really well.

 

I had learnt a lot from my previous relationship. These sort of things are lessons in life...you learn and grow from it. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and you move on from it and become a better person from it. I hope those who are a bit down at the moment, can reflect on my experience and see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I didn't think i could be happy again but i am now. It's like learning how to walk again...it just required a huge effort for me to get up on my feet and take that first step to recovery. After the first step you take the second and so on, sometimes you might fall down but you get back up on your feet and carry on again. I did this until i can now walk free without worrying that i will fall down anymore. I'm finally happy again...

[LuCidiTy]

smiley, i wasn't around back then, but it's still heartwarming and inspiring to read your story and so very gracious of you to come back to share it.

 

it's true what you say about the lessons...they help you learn what is important in life and what is not, what to hold onto and what to let go, what you want and what you don't.

 

it's great to be able to see that even in pain and heartache, there is value in the end. so glad things are working out for you.

[Issues & tissues]

Even when i didn't feel it, i pushed myself to go out and socialise. I pushed myself to meet new people. And gradually i got better and gradually i was able to be myself again.

 

Recently, I have been doing the exact same thing (and believe me some days I don't even want to get out of bed!) but by pushing myself to go out and meeting new people I feel have been making huge strides towards recovery and I am finally beginning to feel more like myself again!

[pigeonsid]

Thanks Smiley (if you ever come back and read this thread!). It's so nice when people post success stories as well... It gives me hope to just wait this out although I have to say - 6 months on and you have a new girlfriend! I don't know if I will be able to recover that quickly, or to even be able to meet someone else that quickly. But you do give me hope.

[sedgwick]

Wow...I'm 8.5 months out from mine and still can't even fathom LOOKING at anyone else. My ex is all I want. Ugh...but hey, good for you! I'm glad to see that for some people it does get better.

[Meaplus3]

Hi everyone,

 

I'm not sure if anyone is familiar with me but i joined the forum in November after breaking up with my ex in September. I haven't visited these pages for a while and i remember people helping me a lot back then so i feel like i should come back on and tell my short story. Hopefully some people will read this and realise there is light at the end of the tunnel. I was in a bad way after the break up and it lasted for a few months. I made a lot of mistakes and at the time i was thoroughly depressed and on the brink of just giving everything up. I felt like it was the end of the world, i felt like there was nothing to live for as my girlfriend at the time had left me for another guy, the woman i thought i loved and meant the world to me.

 

Now lets fast forward to March, approximately 6 months later. It would have been our anniversary had we stayed together and i imagined myself to be sad and lonely and miserable but i'm not like that at all. I have a new girlfriend who treats me better than my ex ever did and i'm now able to be myself and have a laugh with my current gf, much more so than i ever did with my ex. Now, this isn't a "slag off my ex" post at all, i truly loved my ex. I thought she was the girl for me, and i'll be lying if i said that i have no feelings for her anymore. But the true test for me came the other night. A friend of mine had received news that my ex has got engaged to her bf (the guy she left me for). Instead of being angry, upset, mad or any of these kind of emotions, i was actually relieved, happy for her and pleased. I was really surprised by the way i was feeling, but i looked over and saw my current gf and i smiled. This is the point i realised i had moved on... I am so happy with what i have right now... my current gf actually makes me feel like a better person.

 

I'd only really started to get back on track after the new year...i sulked, drank and talked people to death until 2008 was upon us. I made a lot of steps towards the right direction and all this led to me meeting my current girlfriend. People around me had noticed the difference, i was feeling happier and more chatty and this all did me good. Even when i didn't feel it, i pushed myself to go out and socialise. I pushed myself to meet new people. And gradually i got better and gradually i was able to be myself again. Now don't get me wrong, i'm still very cautious with everything, especially after my bad break up of last year. But i have learnt just to be happy and to live each day to its fullest and things with my gf are going really well.

 

I had learnt a lot from my previous relationship. These sort of things are lessons in life...you learn and grow from it. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and you move on from it and become a better person from it. I hope those who are a bit down at the moment, can reflect on my experience and see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I didn't think i could be happy again but i am now. It's like learning how to walk again...it just required a huge effort for me to get up on my feet and take that first step to recovery. After the first step you take the second and so on, sometimes you might fall down but you get back up on your feet and carry on again. I did this until i can now walk free without worrying that i will fall down anymore. I'm finally happy again...

 

Thanks for sharing your update..I am so glad that you are doing well.. that is great news. Best of luck to you.

 

Hugs

 

AP:)

[ninjaturtles]

So pleased for you. I remember you. I am so so happy for you.

 

 

I guess this confirms that we can't move on except we find new love. I wonder where that leaves us (Single people).lol

 

Smileyface, is your Ex really engaged? Isnt that a bit early? Just wondering

[pigeonsid]

I don't meant to hijack this thread, but Ninjaturtle - one of my friends broke up with her boyfriend last year. Well, she actually told him she needed a bit of time to think about things, he then said well, if you want a break then let's just break up. (5 year relationship, she was pretty devastated.) Anyway, 6 months later he had married some girl and moved to a different country. The strangest thing is that my friend and her ex are still in contact - he told her that he was getting married but he didn't tell his own parents. (Still hasn't told his parents, actually.) And he keeps her updated quite frequently on what he's doing.

 

He's found someone else but I don't think he's really moved on, although he has moved countries. Emotions make people do crazy things, don't they? I guess I just wanted to say - we can't hurry the process. And as I was telling her - even though it hurts, at least she isn't going to wake up some morning married and living in a different country, wondering what she just did to herself.

[SmileyFace82]

Ninjaturtles, it does seem very quick but i guess there could be many reasons for this. Maybe she has found her true love, who knows... I haven't really seeked out whether the rumour is true or not. I haven't found the need to find out the truth and i'm not actually losing any sleep over it. I guess i was very lucky to have found my new gf, i was at the right place at the right time. She has definitley helped me get over my ex although like i said in my previous post... to have met my girlfriend in the first place, it did require myself to get up off my butt and to meet new people etc. Now being with her has helped me a lot and has helped me forget about my ex although i would be lying if i say that i am completely over her. Sometimes she just pops into my head when i least expect it.

 

Either way, i have been lucky to have met my current gf, but the main thing is that i did things to improve my life and without that, i probably would not have met my gf. Who knows where i would be if i didn't but there was no way i would be where i am now if i stayed at home and sulked and continued to be depressed at my life. I do understand with some comments saying that six months is very quick to have moved on... but i guess i was slightly lucky too. But you can't give up hope, cause there is always someone out there who can make you happy. I loved my ex a lot, but i've now met someone who i'm building something with... and i miss her when i'm at work and she's not around... feelings which i haven't felt about anyone for a while.