fitzyfan Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Hello all, I'm new here and looking for some advice. I have been been with my boyfriend "R" for almost a year now. Up until this morning, he seemed too good to be true. Last night I was at his house. He cooked me dinner and we were watching tv. He was text messaging someone back and forth for a little bit. My gut said it was another girl, but I tried to not think about it. I have been cheated on in the past, and can be a little paranoid at times.... He left his phone next to me this morning when he got out of bed. I was a big idiot, and checked it for the first time ever. I went to his inbox and saw that a girl that he used to hook up with prior to meeting me had sent him a picture of her breasts last night. His response to her was, "you're hot" and "when can we hang out haha". I packed up my stuff and told him I was going. Obviously he said it meant nothing, that she had just gotten her nipples pierced and that it was a "forward" text message (as in it had gone to multiple people not just him). And also that the "haha" at then end signified that he was just kidding. I know you can't control what shows up in your inbox, but you can certainly control how you respond. He aplogized profusely and says nothing happened, nothing was going to happen, that I'm the one he wants to be with.... I can't help but wonder what has been in his phone in the past, since I've never checked it before...I mean could it really be that the first time he has done anything that would hurt me would be the one time I checked? After the initial shock of my find, my gut says to just let it go, that it wasn't a big deal. I should also note that there was more conversation between the two of them, nothing else inappropriate. When I left his place I told him I needed time to think, and that I would call him later today. So I guess my questions are... 1. What is the best way to handle this? 2. Am I being very naive by believing him? *After I've typed this whole thing out, I feel even more strongly that it was just a stupid mistake on his part* Thanks for your input! Link to post Share on other sites
SeraBella Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 It sounds completely inappropriate to me. Completely. But you know your boyfriend best, and should have a better gauge on his actions that I would. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 You need to do what's best for you. Having been a BS at one point, I am not very tolerant of bad behavior. That being said, you two are young, and with thinks like rampant tatoo's, and nipple piercing, and un-necessary breast augmentation being all the rage, it's quite possible she was just showing off, and your BF replied with humor (LoL). Personally a relationship would need to be very good for me to be tolerant of even the appearance of B.S. I haven't found one like that for a very long time. Link to post Share on other sites
Siphon9a Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 I'm a guy and I don't think I would have even responded and certainly wouldn't have commented in that manner. But then again I respect my SO. I wonder if an ex of yours had been texting you "just as friends" and then made some off color comment and you "jokingly" replied back, how would he feel. Some people just don't think about how the person on the other side of the relationship would feel. I guess they figure, if it doesn't bother me, it shouldn't bother them. That's not always the case. As far as the pic, maybe it was innocent. But I'm the type, that if I'm with someone, I'll let them see my phone, messages, email, myspace, whatever so they know I'm not doing anything I'm suppose to do. I don't look at that stuff as invasion of privacy as I have nothing to hide. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts