LuCidiTy Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Yeah thats clear. No integrity but I am still wondering which story was true. I guess he is pathological. you're lucky you found out! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted March 22, 2008 Author Share Posted March 22, 2008 I know that everyone is saying that the point is that he lied, but I guess why i posted was because i was wondering about the importance of him lying to someopne on the net. I am basing my accusation of him lying to me about melbourne because he told a different story to someone he doesnt know on the net. Thats why I am wondering which story is true. And what if yes, he actually IS in melbourne and just lied to her. I guess my point is well probably everyone lies on the net. How important is it if he lies to a stranger on the net? Although he did also go as far as to say he could meet up with her this week but then im thinking about what everyone has said being that a lie is a lie thats my confusion. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 I'm confused Mishy. Isn't this the same guy you were posting about in the past, where you were upset that all he wanted was an FWB, when your feelings had grown? Why would you think he's prepared to give more or not be full of it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted March 22, 2008 Author Share Posted March 22, 2008 Yeah it is the same guy, but this isnt about me wanting more, its about lying, and i dont think that being in a fwb gives anyone the licence to lie. In fact, its imperative that there IS honesty, as you know so little about them. And the fact he lied about an std test shows me is conscience is pretty non existent. And yeah, i should have known he was full of it. Anything he has ever told me i doubt now. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 mishy, an FWB relationship is unemotional physical gratification between two parties. Anything extra, is just...extraneous. You don't strike me as the type of woman who's suited to an FWB arrangement. Why not chock this one up to experience, take a deep breath and go find yourself someone who you can have a real relationship with? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted March 22, 2008 Author Share Posted March 22, 2008 mishy, an FWB relationship is unemotional physical gratification between two parties. Anything extra, is just...extraneous. i know that, but I still dont think it excuses lying Link to post Share on other sites
Shindig Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Tres agree. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 i know that, but I still dont think it excuses lying What would you do, if a friend lied to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted March 22, 2008 Author Share Posted March 22, 2008 If a friend lied to me i would also doubt everything they ever said and the friendship would be ruined because i wouldnt be able to trust them Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 If a friend lied to me i would also doubt everything they ever said. Would you feel the emotions in the same way, with such strength? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted March 22, 2008 Author Share Posted March 22, 2008 Oh definately, and even more so, much more so. I would be a lot more upset, and for a lot longer. Basically lying just creeps me out. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Okay. Then this guy is a non-issue, since you don't have any strong feelings for him. It should be very easy for you to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted March 22, 2008 Author Share Posted March 22, 2008 I was offended because someone (anyone) would lie about which town they are in simply to avoid me. I find that offensive. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 I think you need to examine your feelings and be honest about them, if only to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted March 22, 2008 Author Share Posted March 22, 2008 So since we were fwb, i shouldnt care that he lied about std tests to me and another person, and lied about other things in his life? I just shouldnt care? For all i know i could have been sleeping with a married man with 3kids, who lived in a different suburb, has a criminal record and also has 6 other fb. I dont think lying is OK, whether you are acquaintances, a work colleague, a neighbour, friends, fb, fwb, bf/gf, married, ANYONE. Link to post Share on other sites
SeraBella Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 I am basing my accusation of him lying to me about melbourne because he told a different story to someone he doesnt know on the net. Thats why I am wondering which story is true. And what if yes, he actually IS in melbourne and just lied to her. I guess my point is well probably everyone lies on the net. How important is it if he lies to a stranger on the net? Although he did also go as far as to say he could meet up with her this week I'm sorry, but there would be no logic to him lying about his location to her if he was looking to meet her soon. So since we were fwb, i shouldnt care that he lied about std tests to me and another person, and lied about other things in his life? I just shouldnt care? For all i know i could have been sleeping with a married man with 3kids, who lived in a different suburb, has a criminal record and also has 6 other fb. I dont think lying is OK, whether you are acquaintances, a work colleague, a neighbour, friends, fb, fwb, bf/gf, married, ANYONE. It is important to care about this stuff, but it's over now. No one is saying it's ok to lie. Do not enter FWB relationships in the future. Continuing to waste your energy on thinking of this man is just pointless. You could be doing so much more with the time and effort, AND stressing about this is not helping you get over him. Link to post Share on other sites
Shindig Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Mishy, the gist is that you feel really betrayed by someone you trusted at least enough to share your body with and began to get attached to and possibly began to develop feelings for this guy. This is totally understandable. He lied to you about a lot of important things and made you feel like you were important and special to him when you were little more than a fling for him. Analyzing every detail of each misdeed isn't going to teach you a lot about future relationships. This guy is/was an anomaly. Guys like him don't turn up very often. Let go of it. Dwelling on him isn't doing yourself any favors except making your mascara run and giving you worry lines. You're clearly really hurt but instead of focusing on him, focus on YOU. Paint your nails, go try on some dresses, eat some chocolate, go for a long run, whatever you do to to clear your mind. Then get yourself busy and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted March 22, 2008 Author Share Posted March 22, 2008 I just joined a hip hop class Link to post Share on other sites
Meg4131 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 I'm so sorry that this happened to you. You deserve so much better than whatever he could hope to offer you. When I was younger my mother always told me that "the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior." This guy is a lying scumbag. He did it in the past and will do it again. Count yourself lucky that you discovered it so quickly. Walk away with your head held high and look forward to meeting your Mr. Right (and by the way, it's NOT this guy). Link to post Share on other sites
Shindig Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Rock on, sistah! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted March 22, 2008 Author Share Posted March 22, 2008 I am a nice person and I guess the reason why I havent let this go yet is that I sent him a very "to the point" email telling him he is a liar after I found out. despite the fact that everyone is saying "it doesnt matter who he lied to, the fact is he lied", I still would feel bad if I was to find out that he was only lying to the chick online to keep her interest for when he got back to brisbane in about 10 days (what he told me) and he is actually still in melbourne and is telling me the truth. I would just feel bad, just because of everything i said in the email. we werent ever exclusive, it was just casual. Im sorry im still going on about this, im just trying really hard to resolve it in my mind, i really am. Link to post Share on other sites
Meg4131 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 It's okay to still be talking about it. It'll help you to get some closure and get him out of your system. Just remember that you've got so much else going for you and you don't need him- there's someone better out there waiting for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted March 23, 2008 Author Share Posted March 23, 2008 Yes, I know I will get it out of my system. Ive had a lot of other things happen over the last 2 years so this is just another blow which is why its taking longer to recover. Its sunday and this happened wednesday. but what do you think about my last post? This is really where i need closure- on the whole thing of - does it matter whether he lied to me or an online female he has never met? This is where i have the ethical/moral dilemma. Plus i havent had any closure because he refused to comment, hung up, wouldnt reply to emails. Link to post Share on other sites
Meg4131 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Well, here's my two cents on the matter. Personally, the guy sounds like a pathological liar. He's probably lied to BOTH of you. These kinds of people make up lies to fit the situation that they're in and to please the person that they're with. These lies flow seamlessly from their lips and they come so naturally, that they're impossible to catch. And to be honest, I really don't think you'd want to know the truth about this guy- he may not be able to even face it himself. He's also not replying to any of your questions because he's upset that he's been CAUGHT in his lies. He's not sorry for what he's done- he's sulking because he didn't get away with it. Once again, count yourself lucky that you found out now before it was too late. Don't let this guy get you down either- there are some really amazing guys out there who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted March 23, 2008 Author Share Posted March 23, 2008 Thanks. The thing that boggles my mind is the detail he went to for both the brisbane/ melbourne stories. The Melbourne story was very detailed. To think he lied about the lot- right from packing his bags to leave the next day; meeting ppl in melb, the weather, the traffic, the job, the girl he met, the hotel, being offered a ftime job there........ and then the brisbane story..... been on holidays in brisbane since being retrenched 3 wks ago.. been gardening, painting, going to interviews, fitness training, down to final 3 out of a pool of 120 for gen manager pos........ both stories flowed so easily. its helping me to be able to post on here he must be pathological. Link to post Share on other sites
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