Full Of Rage.

[Never_Again]

I agree you should absolutely go after him for child support but anger is not the way to do it. You have stated how well you are doing for yourself so the question is do you really want this man and his wife having visitation of your child? Do you really want them to be a part of your life? When you are done school you will not need his money for your child. Is the short term need now worth the next 18 years of him in your life?

 

You told this man you were incapable of having a child as told BY A DOCTOR. Can you go after the doctor who caused you not to use birth control? Can he try to prove in court you lied about your fertility and trapped you?

 

You are very right, anger is not the way to do it. I am not going after him for child support because I am angry. I decided to go after child support a long time ago before I felt the intense amount of anger I have been feeling for him recently. Regardless of whether or not I "need" it when I am through with school (not much longer, actually), that's not the issue. What matters is that he participated in sexual intercourse just as much as I did. So he should bear some of the financial responsibility. I shouldn't have to do this completely on my own, even I can afford to.

 

Every child deserves financial support and they also deserve to know their biological parents. I do think he should have some kind of visitation with him.

 

When did I ever say I told him I was incapable of having a child??? I never stated that, did I? I never told him that there was absolutely no possible way in hell I could get pregnant. I never told him that!!! If he did want to try and prove that in court, it would just be shot down because I COULD get my doctor involved who has ultrasound pictures of all of the problems I had. I never lied about the problems I had and I never told him there was NO possibility that I could get pregnant. When you have sex with someone, unless they have had a hysterectomy or something of that sort, there is ALWAYS a possibility of a pregnancy. Even condoms are not foolproof.

 

 

Anyway, I have calmed down a lot since I first posted. I've been thinking and talking with some friends about it. I don't have as much animosity towards him as I appear to have. I know that everything will work out in the way that will be best for my child. I believe that 100%.

[Never_Again]

I get that you are angry, but I am not sure about what.

 

Are you upset that he mentioned a paternity test? If so, you will have to do that regardless. The courts aren't going to award CS only on a physical likeness or your word that its his child.

 

I'm glad that Dominique was able to calm you down some. You don't need this stress with a toddler. They only push you further to your limit not knowing what's going on with mom. Relax and enjoy your son.

 

Go after CS, but don't show up at court the scorned woman who participated in an A and didn't end up with the man (I mean you no disrepsect), the courts see that way too often and it works against you and your child.

 

Emphasize the positive about your life and why you now feel the need to get support. State it as "I am in school and I am bettering my life for our child. I want to be able to provide more for him with his father's help", not the usual "he this, and he that, and he this that and the other". Because the courts are only going to see you as blaming him (and you already have) when it takes two (regardless of the lies stated).

 

He isn't more at fault for getting you pregnant. Even when doctors say a woman can't get pregnant, as long as you still have a cycle, a uterus, and ovaries - believe me, anything is possible.

 

Good luck, though.

 

Oh no no, I am not upset that he mentioned it. I have even said multiple times that I am totally fine with a paternity test. I have no worries about that. It's just he KEEPS mentioning it even after I told him I am 100% fine with it. He keeps and keeps and keeps bringing it up, as if to rub it in my face and to insinuate that I am a whore and our son MUST not be his. I don't know, it just stings a little.

 

I definitely will not show up in court as a scorned woman, trust me. I honestly don't ever act like this, but I just had a lot of pent up frustration that I had to get out. Nobody IRL knows that I felt like this recently.

 

I will not blame him for me being in my situation at all. It DEFINITELY takes two to tango. I am sorry if I came across as blaming him here. I admit that I am still bitter for all the lies and horrible things he put me and my son through.

 

Thank you for your response, NID.

[noforgiveness]

Why are you having so much contact with him that he keeps mentioning it. There is no need for contact until paternity is proven. I assume you already have the tests set up?

[LakesideDream]

Honey, do you realize how much debt I have gotten into by paying for EVERYTHING on my own without any help? I have kept him out of the picture for two reasons: 1.) The things I found out about him after I "laid with him" make him an unfit father and 2.) I do NOT want any contact with him. The most he is going to get with his track record is limited or supervised visitation. I am CERTAINLY not trying to get "emotionally even" by going after him for child support. That is absolutely outrageous that you would even suggest it. Spend it on myself? I rarely have ANYTHING for myself now that I am a mother, all the money that I have goes directly to my child!!!

 

I share partial responsibility in getting pregnant, but I think he is more responsible because he is the one that didn't wear a condom even when he had one. AND I was told I would never be able to have kids! I definitely wasn't trying to or even THINKING I would have one!

 

And I didn't choose to be his "squeeze on the side." Did you read ANYTHING I wrote previously? I was deceived into thinking he was in the process of a divorce, and was young and naive enough to not ask to see papers! Lesson learned, TRUST ME!!!! I did NOT intentionally get involved with a MM.

 

Oh wait, yeah, never mind, penguins hypnotized me. That wasn't even funny, just fatuous.

 

 

Wow, some of your comments are amazing. Not as "responsible" for becoming pregnant? This is the 21st century. Effective birth control for women has been available since 1963, that's over 40 years. That a doctor "told you" that you couldn't get pregnant is unfortunate if it happened. That's the Doctors problem. You believed him, the MM believed you. There is lots of responsibility to share there.

 

A married man "decieved you" into thinking he was getting a divorce? Say it ain't so! How could that be? I'm sure that's never happened before. Obviously you don't have any responsibility there. I've never heard of a MM (or MW for that matter) telling lies about getting a divorce. I have no personal problem with you making that decision. Stuff happens. Just OWN IT ok? Don't blame your decision on the MM, he didn't capture you and force you into sex slavery.

 

You "found out" things about him "after" you had sex that makes him unacceptable as a squeeze and as a father. Oops! Isn't doing your "due dillegence" before taking off your cloths your responsibility, yours alone? I wouldn't take my cloths off and have sex with anyone I wasn't able to trust, trust comes with knowledge. Again, knowing who you are banging is your responsibility. You say you didn't "intentionally" get into a relationship with a MM.... that another way of saying it was an accident. I have heard the same kind of thing on this board before (never in person). I have this mental image of co-workers walking toward each other in a hallway... Bingo, magically both people cloths fall of, the man falls onto his back, and the woman trips, somersaulting, landing precisely with his erect penis penetrating her vagina. Happens all the time, right?

 

"The most he is going to get with his track record is limited or supervised visitation". It's good to be hopefull, even confident. However... that's up to a judge. Family courts award "joint custody" with custodial custody going to the mother 90+ percent of the time. Most likely he will need to do something NOW to be declared unfit, and have his custody rights restricted.

 

All that being said, I'm still leaning towards you being hypnotized by Penguins. It's the only thing on this thread that explains everything. Be aware, those Penguins are clever too! I have heard that the Aliens were trained in hypnosis by Penguins. Beware of birds that cannot fly.

[TheRain]

Just OWN IT ok? Don't blame your decision on the MM, he didn't capture you and force you into sex slavery.

 

You "found out" things about him "after" you had sex that makes him unacceptable as a squeeze and as a father. Oops! Isn't doing your "due dillegence" before taking off your cloths your responsibility, yours alone? I wouldn't take my cloths off and have sex with anyone I wasn't able to trust, trust comes with knowledge. Again, knowing who you are banging is your responsibility. You say you didn't "intentionally" get into a relationship with a MM.... that another way of saying it was an accident. I have heard the same kind of thing on this board before (never in person). I have this mental image of co-workers walking toward each other in a hallway... Bingo, magically both people cloths fall of, the man falls onto his back, and the woman trips, somersaulting, landing precisely with his erect penis penetrating her vagina. Happens all the time, right?

 

 

LakesideDream, you're so right on the above statements.

[NoIDidn't]

Oh no no, I am not upset that he mentioned it. I have even said multiple times that I am totally fine with a paternity test. I have no worries about that. It's just he KEEPS mentioning it even after I told him I am 100% fine with it. He keeps and keeps and keeps bringing it up, as if to rub it in my face and to insinuate that I am a whore and our son MUST not be his. I don't know, it just stings a little.

 

I definitely will not show up in court as a scorned woman, trust me. I honestly don't ever act like this, but I just had a lot of pent up frustration that I had to get out. Nobody IRL knows that I felt like this recently.

 

I will not blame him for me being in my situation at all. It DEFINITELY takes two to tango. I am sorry if I came across as blaming him here. I admit that I am still bitter for all the lies and horrible things he put me and my son through.

 

Thank you for your response, NID.

 

I understand a little better now. I would be a little upset (understatement of the year, mind you) if a paternity test was repeatedly brought up in a circumstance like this as well. Its as if he is saying you will be humiliated. But what about him? Will his W be by his side while he's getting his cheek swabbed?

 

I know this was a rant. Nothing wrong with that. But do allow yourself to calm down and enjoy your son. Remind yourself about what you are doing now, not what went down then. Go after that CS, its your child's due. Don't let his slights shame you into wanting to be a matyr. A lot of women take the matyr route to the misfortune of them and their children. Please don't mistake shame for pride - neither is all that productive when used in this way.

[Never_Again]

Wow, some of your comments are amazing. Not as "responsible" for becoming pregnant? This is the 21st century. Effective birth control for women has been available since 1963, that's over 40 years. That a doctor "told you" that you couldn't get pregnant is unfortunate if it happened. That's the Doctors problem. You believed him, the MM believed you. There is lots of responsibility to share there.

 

A married man "decieved you" into thinking he was getting a divorce? Say it ain't so! How could that be? I'm sure that's never happened before. Obviously you don't have any responsibility there. I've never heard of a MM (or MW for that matter) telling lies about getting a divorce. I have no personal problem with you making that decision. Stuff happens. Just OWN IT ok? Don't blame your decision on the MM, he didn't capture you and force you into sex slavery.

 

You "found out" things about him "after" you had sex that makes him unacceptable as a squeeze and as a father. Oops! Isn't doing your "due dillegence" before taking off your cloths your responsibility, yours alone? I wouldn't take my cloths off and have sex with anyone I wasn't able to trust, trust comes with knowledge. Again, knowing who you are banging is your responsibility. You say you didn't "intentionally" get into a relationship with a MM.... that another way of saying it was an accident. I have heard the same kind of thing on this board before (never in person). I have this mental image of co-workers walking toward each other in a hallway... Bingo, magically both people cloths fall of, the man falls onto his back, and the woman trips, somersaulting, landing precisely with his erect penis penetrating her vagina. Happens all the time, right?

 

"The most he is going to get with his track record is limited or supervised visitation". It's good to be hopefull, even confident. However... that's up to a judge. Family courts award "joint custody" with custodial custody going to the mother 90+ percent of the time. Most likely he will need to do something NOW to be declared unfit, and have his custody rights restricted.

 

All that being said, I'm still leaning towards you being hypnotized by Penguins. It's the only thing on this thread that explains everything. Be aware, those Penguins are clever too! I have heard that the Aliens were trained in hypnosis by Penguins. Beware of birds that cannot fly.

 

I honestly thought I knew everything about him. I thought I did do my "due diligence" before I took my clothes off. Trust me, he was very good at what he did/said. I TRULY thought I COULD trust him. Your analogy with someone tripping and slipping onto a penis has absolutely no relevance with me saying I didn't intentionally get involved in an affair. I didn't intentionally get involved in an affair because I thought he was in the process of getting a divorce and I was a very young girl with very little life experience. End of story.

 

I do take responsibility for becoming pregnant. Maybe you should read my later comments before you say things like that. I take 100% responsibility for getting pregnant. Like I have said before, in other comments, a lot of what I was saying was out of anger, spur of the moment. I am just as much responsible for getting pregnant as he was. Therefore, we both have a responsibility to this child.

 

You are right, only a judge can order what will happen with custody and visitation. We'll see how it all pans out.

 

And your last paragraph, you really outdid yourself on your fatuous remarks there. That was just dumb, seriously.

[TheRain]

That was just dumb, seriously.

 

LakesideDream, look who's talking.

[Never_Again]

LakesideDream, look who's talking.

 

Everything you say on this board is rude, that was just uncalled for.

 

Anyway, I have a sick feeling inside of my stomach about this because I have been back and forth with people on this board all day and I really don't like the negativity... I am normally very positive! I just want to let go of these awful feelings and go back to living my happy life (with the little damper of child support/custody issues with I am going to be dealing with... but I will deal with them like an adult and do whatever is best of my son).

 

Thanks for the advice everyone!

[LakesideDream]

Never, Seems to me the reason that you are not getting the response you want is simple. You choose the OM/OW catagory to post in. Most of us here have either been an OM or OW at some point. Additionally most of us have been the spouse of an OM or OW. With experiance comes knowledge and tolerance on both sides.

 

You came on very strong full of anger and hate, pointing fingers and casting blame, without acknowledging your participation in the situation.

 

You have softened your position as the day has worn on.. which is what should have happened.

 

As for the Penguins. Due your due dilligence. Penguins are a menace. Never look one straight in the eye.... or only do so at your peril !

[mistie03]

Without reading all of the replies, I will say that I think the xMM is trying to hurt and upset you and he succeeded. Don't let him get to you even though I know it is hard. He sounds like a mean, nasty liar.

 

You are entitled to child support for your child. I don't think that just because he is married and doesn't want to pay, he should get out of it. He should have thought about that when he planted his seed.

 

You are a gorgeous woman (I'm assuming that's your picture to left). I hope that you and your baby can have a happy life without this man causing you too much trouble. Your baby deserves the best life that you can give him.

 

I think that you should only deal with him through the court. It sounds like he is going for the jugular now.

 

ETA: I have been on both sides of the cheating fence, so I am unbiased in my opinion. I have been the OW (I was young and would never do that again. Lesson learned). And I have also been married to a cheater. Either way, I want nothing to do with infidelity. I have been hit on married men quite a few times since I have been single again. I always tell them NO WAY! From my experience, it never turns out well in the long run.

Edited March 22, 2008 by mistie03

[Walking away]

Never Again....

 

The best revenge is living well. Do it.

 

And, BTW, that exMM is a speck of sand in your ocean.

 

Brush him off....

 

[GreenEyedLady]

I AM SO UNBELIEVABLY ANGRY RIGHT NOW.

 

XMM didn't contact me for almost a year. Once he found out through the grapevine I was going after him for child support for our young child that he has NEVER had ANY KIND OF involvement with he immediately sent me an email. It was strictly business but full of his usual stupid quips and just pissed me off. He thinks he is SO SMART. You might be smarter than me in manipulating people and lying, but you will NEVER be intellectually smarter than me, jacka$$.

 

I really don't want to get into any details for fear of him and any of his family snooping around here and finding me. But.... UGH, it just sucks I have no one (except my best friend) to talk to about this.

 

Any feelings that I had still lingering for him are completely GONE now, though. I f**king HATE HIM!!! I HATE HIM!! I am going to do everything I possibly can to suck everything out of him. I hope he loses his house and EVERYTHING. How dare he talk to me the way he has and do what he has done. I HATE HIM and he is GOING TO PAY!!!! I know he is running around hiding assets and such now. But I am going to make sure a THOROUGH investigation is done on him. And I am going back as FAR AS I CAN in back child support. He made a HUGE mistake in insinuating I am/was a whore. Son of a :#($*(#*!!!!!!!!

 

UGGGGH!!!!! I am glad he is such an immature little moron, because this has helped me get over him completely! Now I am just full of anger, rage, resentment, and a little pain.

 

I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

F**k me and my child over and I will f**k you over ten times worse. Stupid alcoholic drug addict with NO decent kind of a LIFE. I hope he kills himself when he realizes what a loser he is.

 

/vent

 

You cannot move on until you feel indifferent...

 

Until you let go of the anger, rage and resentment, you will not heal...Accept that he is a weak person...Accept that he is selfish...Tell yourself that you will not let this set you back and keep moving on...

[Trimmer]

....he has to keep mentioning that this paternity test is SO important and basically calling me a WHORE and I am just so ENRAGED about that!!!!!

 

It's just he KEEPS mentioning it even after I told him I am 100% fine with it. He keeps and keeps and keeps bringing it up, as if to rub it in my face and to insinuate that I am a whore and our son MUST not be his. I don't know, it just stings a little.

But shouldn't it give you the ultimate sense of calm and confidence - even in the face of his insinuations - that you know how the test will turn out? If you know for sure who the father is, you know that his insinuations are wrong. You should be able to maintain a strong, confident image of yourself as an independent individual, and not let that be affected by what he says. His games are all (and only) about who he is, not about who you are.

 

You cannot move on until you feel indifferent...

 

Until you let go of the anger, rage and resentment, you will not heal...Accept that he is a weak person...Accept that he is selfish...Tell yourself that you will not let this set you back and keep moving on...

I tend to agree with this. I wonder if - in spite of your description of him as having "No formal education, a series of failed jobs, drug addict, alcoholic, and the list goes on..." - if your rage and your concern over how he sees you is an indicator that you are still (understandably) working through the loss of him from your life. It's natural to bury that under anger, and that's not to say that your anger at his behavior is unjustified...

 

It's just that if you really had "moved on," if he really was out of your life and out of your heart and mind, I would think your reaction to his repeated insistence on the paternity test would be a kind of a giggle: "Oh boy, you just wait and see..."

Edited March 22, 2008 by Trimmer

[american-woman]

Everything you say on this board is rude, that was just uncalled for.

 

Anyway, I have a sick feeling inside of my stomach about this because I have been back and forth with people on this board all day and I really don't like the negativity... I am normally very positive! I just want to let go of these awful feelings and go back to living my happy life (with the little damper of child support/custody issues with I am going to be dealing with... but I will deal with them like an adult and do whatever is best of my son).

 

Thanks for the advice everyone!

 

 

 

You know it takes two to tangle you reaped what you sowed and if you cant come here and take the 2x4s then by all means hit that exit button

[EnigmaXOXO]

I’m pretty upset for you ... not because he has asked for proof of paternity, but because of what he called you. And if the wife is the one demanding proof before money comes out of the family’s nest egg ... I can’t say I blame her. As a matter of fact, even as a female, I wouldn’t be insulted in the least if a man asked me to provide proof that the child I was carrying was his. EXCEPT if it were my husband, and there was nothing to base his suspicions on. That would cause a divorce! But if I were a guy being asked by a single woman to pay for the child she was carrying ... I’d insist on verifying my paternity (and rights as a parent), too. As a matter of fact, I’m surprised that so many guys out there are either naive or feel too guilty to request one.

 

Already, paternity tests have revealed that 30% of males are not the biological fathers of the children they are being sued to pay child support for. And that only covers those who bother to request verification before taking the mother’s word for it. It also does not account for husbands who are unknowingly raising and supporting children that were fathered by another man. They estimate the percentage of men who are victims of paternity fraud are actually much higher. As a matter of fact, twelve states in the US are now working to amend legislation that will make paternity fraud a crime ... so it isn’t a far stretch to surmise that somewhere in the future paternity testing will become a mandatory part of receiving child support payments for single mothers.

 

At least making it part of the law might remove the stigma, hard feelings and ‘insult’ factor that only adds to the animosity between mother and the accused father. But as a female, if I were absolutely certain who the father of my child was ... I’d be happy to submit to one. As a matter of fact, I’d insist on my own so there would be no questions or doubts later on about who my child’s father was.

 

Moreso, for my child.

[Never_Again]

 

At least making it part of the law might remove the stigma, hard feelings and ‘insult’ factor that only adds to the animosity between mother and the accused father. But as a female, if I were absolutely certain who the father of my child was ... I’d be happy to submit to one. As a matter of fact, I’d insist on my own so there would be no questions or doubts later on about who my child’s father was.

 

Moreso, for my child.

 

I am MORE THAN HAPPY to submit to one! That's not why I get so upset. I get upset because he KEEPS on insisting even after I say, all the time, I will do it WHENEVER you want! There is not a shadow of a doubt in my mind as to who his father is. It also hurts because we became VERY close when we were seeing each other and he knew how much I loved him and that he was the only one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I still can't even LOOK at guys romantically... but he keeps insinuating that I am a whore. It just sucks, that's all.

[Never_Again]

You know it takes two to tangle you reaped what you sowed and if you cant come here and take the 2x4s then by all means hit that exit button

 

Actually, it is "two to tango," and I am really not sure what you meant by the remainder of your sentence. Weird terminology.

[Never_Again]

It's just that if you really had "moved on," if he really was out of your life and out of your heart and mind, I would think your reaction to his repeated insistence on the paternity test would be a kind of a giggle: "Oh boy, you just wait and see..."

 

You know, I see what you are saying. Perhaps I haven't moved completely on. I just feel a little insulted because he KNEW ME so well and it just hurts. But I do laugh to myself about it all, because I do know EXACTLY how the test will turn out. I am not angry because of how I think the test will turn out. I am angry because he KEEPS mentioning it and it is just insulting to me.

[bentnotbroken]

Oh shut up, you don't even know half of the story so don't go around giving people "reality checks" on someone else's reality that you know nothing about.

 

I had severe gynecological problems several years ago and my doctor told me I would never be able to have children, so excuse me for being lax on birth control.. especially with the man I thought I was going to be with forever. Additionally, he could have very easily put a condom on. There were times when he would have them but didn't want to use them! What does THAT say about HIM???

 

He also lied to me immensely about their marriage. No, I did not see divorce papers, but he told me he was in the process of a divorce, whine whine whine, cry cry cry. He gave me some serious sob stories that I, naively, believed. So shoot me for being young, in love, and stupid.

 

He is low. I am not. I have done things that I regret, sure. But who hasn't? He who is without sin should cast the first stone. I highly doubt you are without sin so you have no business to be casting any stones. Thanks.

 

ETA: And of course I am saying some mean things about him, he isn't exactly a good person but he is not a serial killer or anything, my wounds are still very fresh so of course I am going to be angry and defensive right now. And I have virtually nowhere else to vent, so it's all here.

 

 

 

 

No bashing, but you still made a choice. Yes, he should pay child support. He is responsible for his child. But at the same time, if you are in the habit of having unprotected sex, because you believed you couldn't get pregant(not trying to be cruel)maybe he thinks the child isn't his. It frightens me that you would put your health at risk. How do you know who he has slept with or his wife for that matter? You didn't make wise choices, so it isn't right to get mad at someone who sees that. Some of your anger should be directed inward IMHO.

[Never_Again]

No bashing, but you still made a choice. Yes, he should pay child support. He is responsible for his child. But at the same time, if you are in the habit of having unprotected sex, because you believed you couldn't get pregant(not trying to be cruel)maybe he thinks the child isn't his. It frightens me that you would put your health at risk. How do you know who he has slept with or his wife for that matter? You didn't make wise choices, so it isn't right to get mad at someone who sees that. Some of your anger should be directed inward IMHO.

 

I never said some of the anger wasn't directed inward.

 

I had unprotected sex with him because I was in love with him and thought we were going to share the rest of our lives together.

 

I have only had unprotected sex with two other men; they were very serious ex-boyfriends who I also thought (at the time) I would spend the rest of my life with. That's hardly a habit.

 

Maybe it was a stupid choice, health-wise, but I was under the impression that he and his wife were no longer sleeping together and in the process of a divorce and he was a "saint" in my eyes at that point in time.

[bentnotbroken]

LakesideDream, you're so right on the above statements.

 

I never said some of the anger wasn't directed inward.

 

I had unprotected sex with him because I was in love with him and thought we were going to share the rest of our lives together.

 

I have only had unprotected sex with two other men; they were very serious ex-boyfriends who I also thought (at the time) I would spend the rest of my life with. That's hardly a habit.

 

Maybe it was a stupid choice, health-wise, but I was under the impression that he and his wife were no longer sleeping together and in the process of a divorce and he was a "saint" in my eyes at that point in time.

 

 

 

Again no bashing intended, but you say you have unprotected sex 3 times with people "you thought" you were going to spend your life with. That was 3 times to many if you expect to have a life. Maybe it would be more prudent to wait until you are actually married before you let them have the candy without the wrapper. It certainly would be safer for you, since you now have a child to consider.

[Never_Again]

Again no bashing intended, but you say you have unprotected sex 3 times with people "you thought" you were going to spend your life with. That was 3 times to many if you expect to have a life. Maybe it would be more prudent to wait until you are actually married before you let them have the candy without the wrapper. It certainly would be safer for you, since you now have a child to consider.

 

I haven't done it since! I had a serious boyfriend of many years in high school, a serious boyfriend of many years in college and then the mm that I thought I was going to be with forever.

 

I have not slept with ANY man since the birth of my child, condom or not. And, if you have read any of my previous posts, you would see that I am not going to have sex PERIOD again until I am married. Many of my values and ideas on life have changed since his birth.

 

Anyway, who are you to tell someone what they should do with their body? I don't think 3 people is much at all considering how most of the women are in today's society.

[LakesideDream]

I haven't done it since! I had a serious boyfriend of many years in high school, a serious boyfriend of many years in college and then the mm that I thought I was going to be with forever.

 

I have not slept with ANY man since the birth of my child, condom or not. And, if you have read any of my previous posts, you would see that I am not going to have sex PERIOD again until I am married. Many of my values and ideas on life have changed since his birth.

 

Anyway, who are you to tell someone what they should do with their body? I don't think 3 people is much at all considering how most of the women are in today's society.

 

 

Never, I can't fault your life changes, and new attitude. You are also correct in putting your kidlet first. Having raised two children to adulthood, I can tell you there is no better feeling, and no task more difficult.

 

At this point my only reccomendation is to maintain vigilance. Penguins hide everywhere, they are lurkers waiting to take advange of the unprepared.

[LadyDi]

Lots of negative replies for you here, but I hope things work out well for you. I understand the anger and rage from the original post.......those emotions fade so don't worry about it. Good Luck to you!