pettie Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Cheers, ladyabstrused and HoH. How did it go? Hope you are ok... Yes, I am feeling much better, thanks. Partly because he is here at the moment; that's why I've been a bit silent over the past few days... It has been awesome so far. Hopefully, we'll figure something out, in regard of the next visit and future plans, as we are in the same position as you - no inmediate fix for the distance. I'll be back here in a couple of weeks to cry out his absence Hope everything is going good with you all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Great to hear you're having a great time Enjoy every moment! Cheers, ladyabstrused and HoH. Yes, I am feeling much better, thanks. Partly because he is here at the moment; that's why I've been a bit silent over the past few days... It has been awesome so far. Hopefully, we'll figure something out, in regard of the next visit and future plans, as we are in the same position as you - no inmediate fix for the distance. I'll be back here in a couple of weeks to cry out his absence Hope everything is going good with you all. Link to post Share on other sites
amayana Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 My BF managed to rebook his flight to London today. I'm so relieved, even though I'm still scared that something might happen again. He'll be arriving a day later but the important thing is that he'll be here with me and we'll be spending Christmas together and celebrate into the New Year together as well. Howeverm,Thanksgiving comes first. So hopefully 43 days until I see his handsome face again Link to post Share on other sites
meeji Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 16 days......omg! I have never left the country before and it is going to be so awesome to finally meet the man that has been taking up so much of my time. It hadn't totally sank in yet. I will be posting a thread when I leave. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Oh dear, I see. I hope everything went well for him & that he's calmed down a little. It would be awful in so many ways if he lost it. Well, they say that after a holiday people tend to be more stressed when they get back to work as they're no longer used to the daily stress that work induces. I guess that didn't help him much! Is there any way you could go see him? He didn't lose his job, apparently. It's a moot point for me at this point, I guess. I'm initiating NC. He was finally honest with me and told me outright that he was looking at this as a FWB arrangement. I was assuming it was a committed relationship. We were worlds apart. I don't know how I couldn't see it until he told me so. I thought he just needed "space", that *I* was doing stuff wrong, that *I* was smothering him by wanting to talk to him too much (2-3 times a week?? or not even that??). Oh well. He said he doesn't see a committed relationship working out when we are so far apart and only see each other sporadically. Bullcrap. He doesn't even make the effort to call me / see me on Skype. I would've gone to see him (even though the ticket to the UK from Canada would be expensive, and my budget is very limited), but not at this point. Not after what he said. He said he loves me, but more like a really good friend. I was in a FWB arrangement without knowing I was in one. That's a first in the history of humankind, I suppose. God, I'm so stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I have to post on here, because I am amused every time I see this thread again with that little arrow indicating that I posted on it. Back in March of 2008 when this thread began, I posted how I would see my wife after a vacation she took. I never suspected that over four years later, I would be still seeing this thread pop up with that arrows next to it! Is thread to be a perpetual one that goes on forever (figuratively speaking) ? Just a thought. Carry on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 I have to post on here, because I am amused every time I see this thread again with that little arrow indicating that I posted on it. Back in March of 2008 when this thread began, I posted how I would see my wife after a vacation she took. I never suspected that over four years later, I would be still seeing this thread pop up with that arrows next to it! Is thread to be a perpetual one that goes on forever (figuratively speaking) ? Just a thought. Carry on. I think this thread will go on for as long as LS exists! Its very reassuring to know we have your 'permission' to 'carry on' though James :laugh: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
meeji Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 He didn't lose his job, apparently. It's a moot point for me at this point, I guess. I'm initiating NC. He was finally honest with me and told me outright that he was looking at this as a FWB arrangement. I was assuming it was a committed relationship. We were worlds apart. I don't know how I couldn't see it until he told me so. I thought he just needed "space", that *I* was doing stuff wrong, that *I* was smothering him by wanting to talk to him too much (2-3 times a week?? or not even that??). Oh well. He said he doesn't see a committed relationship working out when we are so far apart and only see each other sporadically. Bullcrap. He doesn't even make the effort to call me / see me on Skype. I would've gone to see him (even though the ticket to the UK from Canada would be expensive, and my budget is very limited), but not at this point. Not after what he said. He said he loves me, but more like a really good friend. I was in a FWB arrangement without knowing I was in one. That's a first in the history of humankind, I suppose. God, I'm so stupid. That is terrible! I'm sorry to hear that. I can't say that I have been in that particular situation, but I can say that I do know what it feels like to be rejected. I also know ho it feels when you're confused because you obviously missed something..... Damn.. The good news is that you guys talked about and you can start to move your focus away from this guy. Don't settle for FWB if you want a relationship You will bounce back. Maybe next time you should talk about intentions upfront just to make sure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ani Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 Ouch! That's quite harsh, isn't it? In what way is she not attracted to you? Has she never been or is it something recent? It'd make sense if she felt like that, especially in a LDR since you don't spend much time being physically intimate with each other. In my opinion it'd be much worse if she said she was just attracted to you physically but not in love with you. I understand that both factors are important to a relationship, though. Well I stopped talking to her for a few hours after that. She called me in tears crying that it was a joke. That she never meant it. That her friends, and people she has close to her told her that I'm to good for her. That it's not fair for me to be the only one responsible for our relationship and she thought by telling me this I would break up with her. Which I almost did. Her friend was texting me the entire time she was telling me all these stuff and apparently after I left to come back where I live. Her friends were telling her that it'd be better if she lets me go since I'm the one who has taken full responsiblity for our relationship. Which I don't mind. I only spent about 400 dollars per trip. which is about one day of work. Well after that she told me it was a joke. That she was sorry. And well since then she has been a sweet heart. She even paid for my next month visit. Something she has never done. Link to post Share on other sites
Ani Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I've never heard of that before, how can someone be in love but not attracted?! That doesn't make sense Sorry to hear this, hope you are ok.. I'm okay Heaven. I just don't know what's happening to her. It happened since she started to hang out with her new friend. Apparently they keep telling her that I am to good for her? Which I found completely stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
ana0pera Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 We just booked our flights and hotels today--60 days now, right after the fall term ends!! It's going to be the perfect reward for a long term without him 1 Link to post Share on other sites
meeji Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 8days!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
amayana Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 34 days for me, so excited 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Onionator Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 20 days to go! It'll only be for the weekend but it's ALOT better than nothing 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pettie Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Soo... Successful visit and wonderful holidays! We have decided to take things further. I'll move to him. It's going to be tricky, as we have different passports (and I'll need a visa to be there in a long term basis). We won't use the marriage option yet, so, for starters, we are using the work-visa option. It's going to take a while, surely; but at least, we are not in a limbo anymore. Keep the hopes up! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Great news, happy for you Soo... Successful visit and wonderful holidays! We have decided to take things further. I'll move to him. It's going to be tricky, as we have different passports (and I'll need a visa to be there in a long term basis). We won't use the marriage option yet, so, for starters, we are using the work-visa option. It's going to take a while, surely; but at least, we are not in a limbo anymore. Keep the hopes up! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Soo... Successful visit and wonderful holidays! We have decided to take things further. I'll move to him. It's going to be tricky, as we have different passports (and I'll need a visa to be there in a long term basis). We won't use the marriage option yet, so, for starters, we are using the work-visa option. It's going to take a while, surely; but at least, we are not in a limbo anymore. Keep the hopes up! Yay! Good luck to the both of you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spareohs Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 He'll be leaving Toronto and spending four days with me in Texas in 37 short days! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
meeji Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 Soo... Successful visit and wonderful holidays! We have decided to take things further. I'll move to him. It's going to be tricky, as we have different passports (and I'll need a visa to be there in a long term basis). We won't use the marriage option yet, so, for starters, we are using the work-visa option. It's going to take a while, surely; but at least, we are not in a limbo anymore. Keep the hopes up! I am in the same position as you. I'm not sure where you guys both live but mine is in Ireland and I'm in the U.S. Its very complicated. He wants to come here and I am dodging the marriage thing as well because that's a little over the top at this stage in our relationship. I don't know what we can do besides a student visa or marriage that is a guarantee. Finding a job that will provide a visa and insurance is kinda hard these day,s. I wish you the best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
pettie Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 I am in the same position as you. I'm not sure where you guys both live but mine is in Ireland and I'm in the U.S. Its very complicated. He wants to come here and I am dodging the marriage thing as well because that's a little over the top at this stage in our relationship. I don't know what we can do besides a student visa or marriage that is a guarantee. Finding a job that will provide a visa and insurance is kinda hard these day,s. I wish you the best of luck! Thanks! Same for you! Yes, it is complicated. Won't reveal the countries, but it's also America/Europe. From what I've been reading, it appears that Marriage is the easiest/fastest way. Same as you, I think it's a bit too soon for that. The 2 options we have, besides from a fiancee visa, are me either finding a job or going to study there. Getting a student visa is not a real option, since I am about to get a second degree and attempting a 3rd seems non-practical. Also, money would be an issue. About getting a job... seems to be VERY difficult, although in my field, there are many more opportunities than in his, here. Language is another factor. I am job-hunting already. It's sad, because those two would let us spend some time together before taking a bigger decision (possibly, one of the most important in our lives!) In any case, there is no real short-term solution - this might take us one or even two more years , which sucks, but there is really nothing else we can do. I guess that we might still end up going for the fiancee visa but not just yet. I'll keep an eye in your story - hopefully you'll find a way soon! Link to post Share on other sites
Aquamelon Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 Haven't poked my head on the forums for a while... only about 15 days until he comes to see me! And... January trip has already been booked 3 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 6 weeks hopefully, things are a bit up in the air at the moment Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 5 freakin weeks! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
meeji Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 three days!!omgz! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nyyankeegal33 Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 just about 3 months. 2 if he has a layover in nyc on his way back into the states. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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