Is Porn A Reflection On How Men See Women?

[JerseyShortie]

Is it? Is porn a reflection on how men see women? How they want women to be? Since men often call it the ultimate in "fantasy" and there seems to be a pedestal of sexuality and attractiveness pornstars are put on.

 

I tend to struggle with this issue but often think that porn is an outlet for men on how they really want to see women treated deep in their heart. I tend to find alot of porn, most porn, to be something that treats the woman pretty inhumanly. As if she is only an object with the appropiate holes there for the soul pleasure of men where her thoughts and feelings and even her own pleasure don't count for much. It sucks seeing men enjoy an entire medium that pretty much objectifies and uses women. I think porn can be a reflection of the general lack of respect for women. Even men that have families, wives, daughters, etc etc etc....don't always aid in respecting women because honestly, we all know most men view pornography.

 

It's completely dispressing and makes it hard for me to trust men. Sometimes when I am out in public I will see a man with his family and think: "that guy probably watches porn of S*ut Cheerleaders From Wisconsin 5". And it's a completely let down of respect to his wife and family in general, for me at least that's how I see it.

 

Usually certain titles and names are given to the women to make it seem more "appealing". Rarely does the title of a movie call the man a name, but often the women are refered in in a derogatory fashion that somehow both is meant to shame and sexualize the women in the video at the same time. Because the names used are ones that are associated with negative titles.

 

Why do so many men accept and themselves enjoy seeing women treated like that? I know most men wouldn't want to see their daughters or wives treated like that. So why is it acceptable when the girl in the video is someone else's daughter or wife? When you have women in your life that you don't want disrespected but you don't mind adding and contributing to the disrespect of women in general?

 

I think there are some women that do enjoy their job in porn, but I tend to think a greater number of women in porn have deep seeded issues to be doing what they are doing. Women naturally don't acquire to want to be used by x amount of men. We are more relationships based in most cases. And I am often left feeling sad for the girl in the movie who totally let herself be sold out for a guy that will have no more respect for her then the condom he used to have sex with her.

 

Just putting my thoughts out here and I often think porn is a reflection of how men do see women. And with the amount of porn out there today, and the type of porn (which is far different from the porn of just playboy), I think there will be even more men and women screwed up for it. And more men, more dependent on it then ever before.

 

So do you think porn is a reflecition of how men see women? Or want them to be?

[Lizzie60]

I agree and disagree with this

 

I think there are some women that do enjoy their job in porn, but I tend to think a greater number of women in porn have deep seeded issues to be doing what they are doing. Women naturally don't acquire to want to be used by x amount of men. We are more relationships based in most cases. And I am often left feeling sad for the girl in the movie who totally let herself be sold out for a guy that will have no more respect for her then the condom he used to have sex with her.

 

I have to say that it is true in some cases (female traffiking, slavery, polygamy) that women are used by men as sexual objects.. but I also think that in some cases.. women are using men as well...

 

When a woman gets big bucks for sex (on HER terms, WHEN she wants, etc.).. who's using who?

[KidEternity]

Well I can only speak for myself but no it isn't how I see women, it might be how some guys see women, but not all.

 

I find porn kinda strange, of course I've watched it but it is kinda weird and I don't find some guy "banging" a girl a turn on. To be honest the guys are just as bad in porn as the women. The way I see it, they are all just stereotypes. I don't think there is anything bad with watching some porn, it is just the weirder, stuff...

 

I doubt many men consider pornstars the height of attractiveness though, I mean they dress really slutty, have had sex with about 100 + guys, get shot in the face with cum, I don't find that attractive

 

(I just want a pretty face and someone I could talk to all night )

[JerseyShortie]

.....have to say that it is true in some cases (female traffiking, slavery, polygamy) that women are used by men as sexual objects.. but I also think that in some cases.. women are using men as well...

 

When a woman gets big bucks for sex (on HER terms, WHEN she wants, etc.).. who's using who?

 

But you got to think that most female porn actresses, unless they are Jenna Jaminson, have very little say probably on some things. I don't agree that just because she will be paid a high amount that it is 100% on her terms. If she had better options, I would think that they would want to take that.

 

To be honest the guys are just as bad in porn as the women.

 

Yeah, the guys in porn are like the completely exact opposite of what I want in a guy. Some obviously have nice builds, some are fat and gross, and over all the way they treat the girls in the movies is completely unattractive.

 

 

I doubt many men consider pornstars the height of attractiveness though, I mean they dress really slutty, have had sex with about 100 + guys, get shot in the face with cum, I don't find that attractive

 

But guys like that stuff. And they often want to do some of that stuff with their own wife/gf. Not everything thank god, because some of the stuff in porn is really mysgonistic, but some stuff is now considered less taboo is because of a porn influence. Maybe it's just me but I tend to think that there is a perception from men that the fake young woman with the fake boobs, the arch stereotype of most pornography, is the eptiome of female beauty to alot of men. Personally I find it cartoonish but that seems to be what alot of men enjoy. Sadly for all the normal, aging women out there

 

(I just want a pretty face and someone I could talk to all night )

 

That's sweet. Maybe there is some hope for me finding a man after all that doesn't need porn to make him feel like a man.

[Woggle]

Men who watch porn just want to get off. Nothing more nothing less. I don't mean this to insult you but you need to get over these issues because all men are not out to get you.

[JackJack]

Maybe there is some hope for me finding a man after all that doesn't need porn to make him feel like a man.

 

*Well, for me I don't need porn to feel like a man. You know why? I have a wife who does that.

 

NOw, I understand there are alot of men whose wives don't make them feel like that so they turn to porn alot. However, the same could be said for women not feeling something they are missing from their spouse as well.

 

I have looked at porn. I have looked at porn with my wife when we are trying to "spice" things up etc. However, I do not feel I need to look at it all the time, nor do I feel like its something I must do just because I'm a man.

 

I also think its a poor excuse when I hear or see others say, "ALL men look at it, or ALL men do it." To me that is a cop out and it comes across as others speaking for ALL men. I don't think so.

 

I think men who are pretty happy in their relationships are less likely to "look" at porn alot. WHY? Because their needs are being met. There are some men whose needs are being met and still look at porn, hey whatever floats ya boat. And as I said earlier I do and have, ALL the time, no. I can say, that if my wife were to come to me right now and say, "Jack I don't want you to view porn anymore." I would have no problem with it. WHY? Because I have the real thing at home, and am secure enough in my relationship to let something like a video or pictures of other women go. Its just not all that important to me.

[Arch]

Nope, I want a female dedicated to me and our relationship, I have a thing for females in bondage so she would have to enjoy participating in my fetish but in no way would I ever want to date or have sex with a porn star.

 

Pornography in itself is worthless to me, I look at B/D "porn" but I view it as rather beautiful and artistic, what it represents has far more meaning to me and is more important then any of the females who "star" in it.

[KittenMoon]

I'm a girl who likes porn, and i see it more as an outlet to indulge in fantasies I wouldn't actually want to act out in real life. I mean, porn has a HUGE range- some is bascially just using women as cum dumpsters, but there is a lot of other stuff out there too. Like orgies- a lot of people would like to watch, but never participate. I love watching 2 guys f--k, a fantasy I'll simply never be able to indulge in because I'm not a guy (and no, the threesome idea thing isn't the same).

 

I've seen porn that disgusts me, but quite frankly, more often than not it's the most basic, vanilla porn. But there are a lot of porn companies that treat their girls very well on camera. We (my friends) call it "Cali Porn" because in California there are several companies that adhere to certain standards of on and off camera treatment. For example, a woman is never allowed to appear forced into the sex- I've seen outtakes where they've stopped a scene just because the guy rested his hand too close to the girl's neck.

 

When it comes to porn, i say to each his own, but try to take it with a grain of salt, and be aware that there is moree tasteful and considerate porn and porn companies out there.

[Trialbyfire]

Porn makes me laugh because it's so fake and incredibly tasteless. Having said that, if a guy wants to watch porn, he can do it on his own time.

 

I have to agree that porn seems like a quick fix outlet for men, when they're feeling lazy. It takes no effort to get off and there's no need to connect with anyone. Kind of anti-social, if you ask me.

 

As for men idealizing women in the porn industry, while no doubt, many men want the blatant sexuality and hawtness factor, displayed by the women, most of these men wouldn't be very comfortable, bringing these women home to introduce to mamma and pappa.

 

If anything, and I know I'll be negated by our resident misogynists and bitter men, most men want the whore in the bedroom and the beautiful, arm-trophy madonna, outside of the bedroom. Some men even enjoy brains, at least enough so they can get, thus laugh at their jokes...

[JerseyShortie]

I still don't feel as if some of you in your responses directly addressed any of the questions I ask. Most of the men totally avoided going anywhere near the objectification and degradtion name calling that is a major theme in porn movies towards women, not men.

 

 

Men who watch porn just want to get off. Nothing more nothing less. I don't mean this to insult you but you need to get over these issues because all men are not out to get you.

 

Maybe when I see men enjoy women treated with care and respect more then they like seeing women used, degraded and called names I can begin to believe that. But considering how important porn is to men, sometimes it does seem men don't much respect or care for women beyond her spreading her legs.

 

As for men idealizing women in the porn industry, while no doubt, many men want the blatant sexuality and hawtness factor, displayed by the women, most of these men wouldn't be very comfortable, bringing these women home to introduce to mamma and pappa.

 

Which is the exact reason why men look at porn, for the type of physical women they really want; but settle for the real life women of what women really are. And this his real life woman gets screwed because he still needs the porn.

[IpAncA]

Ah heck, if people wern't attracted to that stuff they wouldn't watch it. Of all the porn that's out there, you watch what your attracted to unless you just flat out like watching it like some sitcom.

 

Just my two cents.

[JerseyShortie]

Exactly, so what does that say about all the porn out there that most of it is pretty damn degrading to women? What does that say about how men really feel about women? Men like seeing women treated like objects that don't have any other emotion then "horny". Is porn a reflection of how men want to see women treated? And if so, why do men like to see women used like that? When I think men would HATE to see women abuse and use men in ways that are sensitive to men.

[IpAncA]

I feel women are portrayed the way they are portrayed in various types of porn for a reason. I'll leave it at that...

[Lovelybird]

NO, not all men, but some of them. Even many of men look women in that way, we don't want 'many of men', we just want ONE man who don't view woman like that, and know how to respect and love woman.

 

Porn is made for those who disrespect women, and those who are full of lust. People who watch them will be influenced by the ideas hiden behind those images. Men who watch them will act out the disrespect someway somehow sometime. Women who watch them will LEARN to be treated with less respect and love, will feel the disrespect is normal. The physical realm disrespect will influence other areas, such as their dating life, their interaction with opposite gender, their relationship with men. Women look into distastful porns and try to find out how to please a man sexually. men look into distastful porns and try to get their women to do the same for them

 

The bad influence of porn is very subtle but will enlarge to other areas besides physical, it is not merely a "fantacy of sex", it will influence how a man treat a woman, how a woman think of her self worth.

 

Sex is good in a marriage and with love. Playfulness is good, but not good when it involves disrespect, violence, perversion and self-centredness.....

[Lovelybird]

Exactly, so what does that say about all the porn out there that most of it is pretty damn degrading to women? What does that say about how men really feel about women? Men like seeing women treated like objects that don't have any other emotion then "horny". Is porn a reflection of how men want to see women treated? And if so, why do men like to see women used like that? When I think men would HATE to see women abuse and use men in ways that are sensitive to men.

All I can say is that decent men won't like the ideas and distaste the porn convey. and don't bother yourself with the "most men think", that can get us nowhere.

Edited March 23, 2008 by Lovelybird

[Green]

Exactly, so what does that say about all the porn out there that most of it is pretty damn degrading to women? What does that say about how men really feel about women? Men like seeing women treated like objects that don't have any other emotion then "horny". Is porn a reflection of how men want to see women treated? And if so, why do men like to see women used like that? When I think men would HATE to see women abuse and use men in ways that are sensitive to men.

 

you are definetly naive when it comes to all this. First off I watch porn. Second off I never pay for it, and have never been to a stirip club. I usualy just download porn with bit torrent for free. I like to watch porn with good looking people, both the guy and the girl. Some times I get a rise out of seeing some gross guy do a hot chick, but for the most its better when every one involved is good looking. I also enjoy seeing the stuff that you probably find disrespectful like when they c*m in the girls face

[norajane]

I feel women are portrayed the way they are portrayed in various types of porn for a reason. I'll leave it at that...

 

I'm curious what you think that reason is.

 

Jersey, I tend to agree with you that much of how women are portrayed in porn can be considered degrading. They pretty much are 'objects' men use. Yes, they may be shown as 'wanting it', but the fact is, even their 'wanting it' is for the male to have license to give it to her, often in ways he would never consider using the woman in his life.

 

I've often wondered if men do compartmentalize porn as erotic fantasy come to life, or if they do secretly wish to use women that way in real life.

 

As a woman, I will admit that my sexual fantasies can take a darker turn at times, but rarely in a way that I imagine any man would object to or would resist wanting to do it.

 

I'll give an example of something that came up recently. I'll spare you the back story, but a gentleman I know agreed to write an erotic fiction story for me and asked me what I wanted him to write about. I told him he could write whatever he wanted, but what interested me and what I hoped he'd be able to do was give me insights into what thoughts went through his head during sex. Yadda, yadda, yadda, he said his fear was that I would think he was cruel.

 

Cruel?

 

He explained that when he was having sex with a woman and it was just sex, they both knew it wasn't going anywhere toward a relationship, during sex he'd be wondering how much he could get away with.

 

Get away with?

 

Yeah, like what could he get her to do that maybe he wouldn't ask a woman he was in a relationship with.

 

And then he asked me if I ever had those kinds of thoughts during casual sex. To which I replied I don't HAVE casual sex, but even so, I couldn't think of a single thing that I would want to do that a guy wouldn't willingly do. The only thing I could think of was if I wanted to stick something up his ass, or make him lick my shoes and go all Mistress NJ on him, and that's generally not something I would want to do or would ever fantasize about doing. On top of that, both of those things - ass play and Mistress NJ - are driven by the guy wanting it. That does not turn me on, so again, if I did it, it would be me doing something for the guy because it turns him on.

 

 

So, long story short, I think there is something inherent in male/female sex that is exaggerated in porn: it's much easier to degrade women and make them do things that men find to be a turn on but women don't. And yes, I do believe men may indeed think that way, definitely in fantasy, and perhaps sometimes in reality, too. Love may temper those desires, but they don't go away in totality and find an outlet in porn.

[Green]

I'm guesing Ip was just refering to the fact that there are so many different types and styles of porn from Playboy and beyond, different people are demanding different things

[norajane]

you are definetly naive when it comes to all this. First off I watch porn. Second off I never pay for it, and have never been to a stirip club. I usualy just download porn with bit torrent for free. I like to watch porn with good looking people, both the guy and the girl. Some times I get a rise out of seeing some gross guy do a hot chick, but for the most its better when every one involved is good looking. I also enjoy seeing the stuff that you probably find disrespectful like when they c*m in the girls face

 

I think you're missing the point of her question. And she never said a word about strip clubs or paying for it or whatever.

 

When you watch bj porn and the guy is telling her over and over, "suck it bitch, yeah, take my cock, take it" and then he cums in her face, is that a reflection of how you think of women in real life? That you'd like to be able to do that with a woman yourself and that you'd think of her in a "suck it bitch" kind of way?

 

Does porn reveal how men think of women?

 

That's the question.

[Green]

I think you're missing the point of her question. And she never said a word about strip clubs or paying for it or whatever.

 

When you watch bj porn and the guy is telling her over and over, "suck it bitch, yeah, take my cock, take it" and then he cums in her face, is that a reflection of how you think of women in real life? That you'd like to be able to do that with a woman yourself and that you'd think of her in a "suck it bitch" kind of way?

 

Does porn reveal how men think of women?

 

That's the question.

 

I have told women to suck it and called them bch... but thats not my favorite thing to do.

[norajane]

I have told women to suck it and called them bch... but thats not my favorite thing to do.

 

K, now contrast that with a woman saying "lick it, jerkwad, lick my cunt".

 

I'll guarantee there aren't many women who think of men and sex that way on a regular basis, much less have ever actually uttered something like that during sex, nor do they fantasize about doing so or watch porn where that happens pretty much all the time.

 

It's a very different mindset. Women don't often have a degrading view of men when it comes to sex. While men do VERY often as its shown in porn. So do they VERY often think of women that way in real life too?

[Green]

I do enjoy degrading women, even messing them up. But most of the girls I'm with enjoy that kind of thing. One of my favorite things to do when I get a girl back to my room is just toss her accross the room onto my bed and they love it

[Woggle]

Most porn is not degrading to women unless it is rape porn or underage porn which I do not support at all. It simply sexual attraction and if I feel the need to get off what is wrong with picking up a playboy? Why do feminists find their own bodies degrading?

[norajane]

Most porn is not degrading to women unless it is rape porn or underage porn which I do not support at all. It simply sexual attraction and if I feel the need to get off what is wrong with picking up a playboy? Why do feminists find their own bodies degrading?

 

Playboy? Playboy is 'art' compared to most porn films.

[Woggle]

Playboy? Playboy is 'art' compared to most porn films.

 

I am aware of those cheesy 70s porn flicks with the horrible music and where every man seems to have a mustache but not all porn is like that. You can get any type of porn you want so the world Porn is way too broad a term to determine whether or not it is degrading. You have to break it down into certain types. Besides there is nothing wrong with a little fantasy misogyny for a man as a form of therapy. I have a misogynistic songs tracklist on my iPod and it helps when I am in one of my moods so I imagine degrading porn is the same. Also Oprah and Lifetime are way more hateful towards men than porn is to women.