AussieJack Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Not all guys have casual sex. Some actually only have sex in serious relationships and not just one night stands. I just want a guy who hasn't had a lot of partners! You are 30 ? Do you want to be married and have children in the next 5 years ? IS that your plan ? Do you also have the world famous 30 point ' laundry list' of requirements for this 'non promiscuious man' ? Or is that your only expectation ? Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 You are 30 ? Do you want to be married and have children in the next 5 years ? IS that your plan ? Do you also have the world famous 30 point ' laundry list' of requirements for this 'non promiscuious man' ? Or is that your only expectation ? I'm not familiar with this world famous 30 point laundry list... Link to post Share on other sites
Author cutegirl Posted March 23, 2008 Author Share Posted March 23, 2008 You are 30 ? Do you want to be married and have children in the next 5 years ? IS that your plan ? Do you also have the world famous 30 point ' laundry list' of requirements for this 'non promiscuious man' ? Or is that your only expectation ? I don't want to get married. I am not traditional at all. I actually don't want a wedding. I was never one of those women who dreamed of a wedding. I am fine just "living together" or "having someone in my life". Yea I'm 30 and I don't want kids at all. My clock isn't ticking yet. I am really not into children and don't want to endure childbirth. I'm not very maternal. I don't want to have kids or get married, just to find someone to share my life with so I won't be lonely. I don't need it to be on paper. I don't care for marriage at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cutegirl Posted March 23, 2008 Author Share Posted March 23, 2008 You are 30 ? Do you want to be married and have children in the next 5 years ? IS that your plan ? Do you also have the world famous 30 point ' laundry list' of requirements for this 'non promiscuious man' ? Or is that your only expectation ? this is my 30 point laundry list : -Not promiscuous -Someone who has never banged a hooker/escort/call girl doesn't go on sex vacations to Thailand, Amsterdam, Eastern Europe etc - Someone who can support himself (I am extremely independent and support myself. I insist on splitting EVERYTHING 50/50 down to the penny). I just refuse to support a man financially. I had to support my ex, pay his credit card bills, cell bill, medical bills, he lived with me rent free, etc. He even dared to ask me for an allowance! - Someone who is not abusive and won't hit me, spit on me, withdraw money out of my bank account without asking (like my ex), won't emotionally abuse me -Someone who doesn't hate my family for no reason (for example my ex hated my mother just because I sent her money, he was jealous) - Someone who won't cheat and bang whores or other women behind my back -Someone who doesn't lie It's a pretty tall laundry list I suppose Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 I thought condoms had a 6 month expiration date. the ones I own have 2012 printed on them, and I keep them in my room. If I ever decide to take one out with me I put it in a protective capsule so it doesnt get squashed in my pocket Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Well then you got your answer.. now's the time to move on.. simple. Oh I agree. this is my 30 point laundry list : -Not promiscuous -Someone who has never banged a hooker/escort/call girl doesn't go on sex vacations to Thailand, Amsterdam, Eastern Europe etc - Someone who can support himself (I am extremely independent and support myself. I insist on splitting EVERYTHING 50/50 down to the penny). I just refuse to support a man financially. I had to support my ex, pay his credit card bills, cell bill, medical bills, he lived with me rent free, etc. He even dared to ask me for an allowance! - Someone who is not abusive and won't hit me, spit on me, withdraw money out of my bank account without asking (like my ex), won't emotionally abuse me -Someone who doesn't hate my family for no reason (for example my ex hated my mother just because I sent her money, he was jealous) - Someone who won't cheat and bang whores or other women behind my back -Someone who doesn't lie It's a pretty tall laundry list I suppose You can find all that except the lying. Everyone lies...even you. I personally think your judging this guy unfairly. Perception isn't always reality. Link to post Share on other sites
ShoeGirl Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 cutegirl, are you really making these assumptions off of someone telling you that he has a box of condoms in his room? Don't you think that is a little insane? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cutegirl Posted March 23, 2008 Author Share Posted March 23, 2008 cutegirl, are you really making these assumptions off of someone telling you that he has a box of condoms in his room? Don't you think that is a little insane? Well, I'm close to this person. I'm sure this person is telling me the truth. So even if I saw it firsthand, do you still think it would be ridiculous for me to be making these assumptions? Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 (edited) I've got a box of condoms in my room, and I haven't had sex for quite a long time now. It was a psychological experiment - not having condoms available played a part in some dreams I was having, so I wanted to see if really buying them and having them nearby while I slept affected the outcome of the dreams. I'm sure that's probably the explanation in the OP's case, too. Anyway, the fact that I have them available kind of makes me feel good, like "OK, just in case it happens, I'll be ready..." It would be kind of cute, except that's overridden by the whole pathetic aspect. Here's an idea. Go ahead and start dating him. Then, when you've done the deed, count the number of condoms in the box. Then, the next time you do the deed, count the number of condoms in the box again. If they've reduced between times, you've got your answer. Hey, she doesn't even have to date him. She's got the spy there right in the house. She should have her friend count the condoms weekly (preferably at the same time each week, for consistency.) Keep a chart, so you can estimate and project his frequency of promiscuous sex. Graph it in Excel, follow the trend line, fit a second order polynomial equation to the collected data... Lots of fun activities can be built around this. The simple ownership of condoms means that he's a male slut? Really? And about the pill - I'm not on it for any other benefit than BC. I also have a box of condoms under my bathroom sink. I guess that makes me a floozy. Maybe we should get your condoms and my condoms together for a play date... That makes me a "moozy" (a male floozy...) Why is it living in cuckoo land to want to find someone who has had a limited amount of partners and hasn't engaged in casual sex? Maybe it's not cuckoo to want to find someone like this. It is a little cuckoo, though, to expect to be successful. I don't think its unrealistic to look for someone who has never had casual sex. Again, it's not the looking that's unrealistic. It's your expectation of success that would be unrealistic. Edited March 23, 2008 by Trimmer Link to post Share on other sites
InLimbo2 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 No sex for 6 1/2 years? That would tend to make one a lil 'crazed' like you're displaying at the moment Maybe some casual sex mighta done you some good - my guy calls it 'gentling me down so I don't claw the curtains' when it's been awhile. I'm guessing that you are still in that 20-27 thing - you've been celibate for 6.5 years and now you have your sights set on this guy - and it's bugging you that someone else might be doin him - you're jealous, plain and simple. That's my guess. Masturbation only goes so far - and then you need that human touch - it's reality. Well, I went for six and a half years without sex before, from approx age 20-27 I think (approximately), it was a hell of a lot more than one and a half years. I don't see why it's impossible to expect a guy not to have had casual sex. I never had casual sex before. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cutegirl Posted March 23, 2008 Author Share Posted March 23, 2008 Hey, she doesn't even have to date him. She's got the spy there right in the house. She should have her friend count the condoms weekly (preferably at the same time each week, for consistency.) Keep a chart, so you can estimate and project his frequency of promiscuous sex. Graph it in Excel, follow the trend line, fit a second order polynomial equation to the collected data... Lots of fun activities can be built around this. This is hilarious! I don't know why I didn't think of that before it's actually a good idea. No, I won't do it though. I don't want to be a TOTAL psycho. Why do you think it's unreasonable for me to able to find a guy like that though Trimmer? Do you really think that 100 percent of all males by age of 30 have had casual sex already? Can you estimate the percentage of guys by that age who have had casual sex? I'm just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
InLimbo2 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 you're right - you have the right to set any criteria you wish. the reality is that it's almost impossible to find a guy that fits that criteria in your age range. you WISHING it were true and DEMANDING that it's your right - doesn't change the fact that you are unlikely to find it. And frankly, goin apesh*t over a guy you aren't even dating owning condoms screams 'fruitcake' to the great majority of the population. He doesn't have to. I would rather find a guy who hasn't had many partners or casual sex. I have the right to have any prerequisites I want. A lot of guys have them too; they want someone tall, or blonde, or college educated, or intelligent etc. This is just simply one ATTRIBUTE that I look for in a mate. If they don't meet my standards then great, there are plenty of fish out there. Link to post Share on other sites
InLimbo2 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Your logic is flawed - you can find millions of people that have similar religious convictions or who are college educated - you are going to find mighty slim pickings for a 30 yo male who's had less sex partners than you or never engaged in sex with someone they were just 'dating'. That's what people do when singling out someone to date. For example, imagine a guy who is religious and wants to find a woman who has similar convictions. Or someone who is college educated and searching for the same in a partner. My requirements are NO DIFFERENT. Link to post Share on other sites
InLimbo2 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 take it from another woman - you got a whole laundry list of issues darlin - you need to heal from the last relationship and get some help before you put yourself out there with another man this is my 30 point laundry list : -Not promiscuous -Someone who has never banged a hooker/escort/call girl doesn't go on sex vacations to Thailand, Amsterdam, Eastern Europe etc - Someone who can support himself (I am extremely independent and support myself. I insist on splitting EVERYTHING 50/50 down to the penny). I just refuse to support a man financially. I had to support my ex, pay his credit card bills, cell bill, medical bills, he lived with me rent free, etc. He even dared to ask me for an allowance! - Someone who is not abusive and won't hit me, spit on me, withdraw money out of my bank account without asking (like my ex), won't emotionally abuse me -Someone who doesn't hate my family for no reason (for example my ex hated my mother just because I sent her money, he was jealous) - Someone who won't cheat and bang whores or other women behind my back -Someone who doesn't lie It's a pretty tall laundry list I suppose Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 I don't want to get married. I am not traditional at all. I actually don't want a wedding. I was never one of those women who dreamed of a wedding. I am fine just "living together" or "having someone in my life". Yea I'm 30 and I don't want kids at all. My clock isn't ticking yet. I am really not into children and don't want to endure childbirth. I'm not very maternal. I don't want to have kids or get married, just to find someone to share my life with so I won't be lonely. I don't need it to be on paper. I don't care for marriage at all. Sounds to me like you want a friend more then you want a boy friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cutegirl Posted March 23, 2008 Author Share Posted March 23, 2008 Sounds to me like you want a friend more then you want a boy friend. I want a boyfriend, I just dont want kids and I don't want to get married. I am not traditional. I don't need a piece of paper to validate it for me. Link to post Share on other sites
InLimbo2 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 I want a boyfriend, I just dont want kids and I don't want to get married. I am not traditional. I don't need a piece of paper to validate it for me. You're not traditional. You don't want marriage. You don't want kids. You just want to 'shack up'. Yet you expect to find a guy that is very traditional, with traditional 'morals' on sexual behavior. And then to be with him, without marriage or children. I think your odds of finding a man to meet your criteria have just plunged into the negative digits.... Link to post Share on other sites
Stockalone Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 So you are saying that there is not ONE man out there in the world around 30 who has NEVER had casual sex before? That's exactly what I am saying. Not every guy around 30 has had casual sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Not every guy around 30 has had casual sex. Yes, but most of them would have condoms in their room for the chance that they will have sex, casual or otherwise Link to post Share on other sites
Stockalone Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 I want a boyfriend, I just dont want kids and I don't want to get married. I am not traditional. I don't need a piece of paper to validate it for me. There is nothing wrong with wanting what you want. But you have to consider the possibility that you will never find such a man. It's not impossible but it's going to be very hard to do so. I also agree with InLimbo2 that those guys will have either have very traditional/archconservative morals. Or they are the guys that no woman would ever consider as a partner and I guess you wouldn't want them either. So you are left with the traditionalists. And most of them will want marriage and kids. At least that's what I want. Link to post Share on other sites
Stockalone Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Yes, but most of them would have condoms in their room for the chance that they will have sex, casual or otherwise Yup, even I have condoms, and some of them aren't even expired yet. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 BECAUSE HE IS NOT IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP!!! The last one he had was over one and half years ago and I'm SURE those condoms are not from back them. So that's why it means he is promiscuous!! It means he could be having sex with people he is not in a serious relationship. That's not the kind of guy I want. So... are you on birth control? If so, by your own logic you are promiscuous and not worthy of a serious relationship. Seriously though, keeping condoms around does not mean that he is promiscuous. If you are making assumptions like that, then by all means you need to move on to someone else. It will save him a lot of time and trouble in the long run. Will you find a man who fits your laundry list? Perhaps, but if you are with a guy who never has condoms around, then you are likely to be talked into going bareback (because he's not promiscuous, right?) and end up with some sort of STD. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Yup, even I have condoms, and some of them aren't even expired yet. It is the smart and safe thing to do. For every woman who is offended over a guy possession condoms, 10 more will be offended that he presumes they will have sex unprotected because he dislikes the feel or whatever Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Well, using that logic you would not be able to tell anything about a guy including if he ever cheated or he's sincere or anything at all for that matter. Exactly.. it's not written on their forehead.. how can YOU tell????? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 Why would a guy want to jack off just to keep you happy? Hahaha.. and I would add.. 'Why would a guy, who's not even involved with you, want to jack off just to keep you happy? This is totally ridiculous.. Link to post Share on other sites
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