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The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses


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Humorous: http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html

 

Couple of snips:

 

#8) II Kings 2:23-24

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

 

#4) Deuteronomy 25:11-12

If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

 

 

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If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

 

 

 

And then they talk about Islamic Law!!! Sheesh!!!

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:laugh:LMFAO at the title of this thread! I never thought I would see the words "badass" and "bibles verses" in the same sentence!

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Excellent! I think that's the funniest link I've ever seen anyone post on Loveshack. In fact I'm sure it is. Thanks for that Enema.

 

Here's my favourite out of the selections:

 

Elisha Is Jeered

 

23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

 

You can just imagine the backstory to that being written. Whoever was on bible-writing duty that day took a wee break to get some bread and wine from the local market place. On his return, he was accosted and mocked by a bunch of idle youths for his baldness (foolishly, he had neglected to put on his usual hat).

 

Furious, degraded and embarrassed he returned to his house cursing the youths and fantasising about them being mauled by bears. And so it went on. Various poorly paid bible writers using their stint at the good book to vent their spleen and play out revenge fantasies where they could ludicrously over-react to every little slight, with God seeing that it was good. Sometimes with the help of local wildlife.

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