loveratud Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 (edited) Ok, so I've been noticing this guy hanging around my girlfriend a lot lately. He's really goofy, not attractive, obviously fawning over her, but I never really thought anything of it. Then this happens: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t147107/ She told me that when she found out I was out with my ex, that she also went out drinking. I didn't think much of it. Well lately she's been acting really funny, classic signs: less interested in sex, averts her gaze, shields her cell phone from my view. Well the deal was sealed when earlier tonight, after we had just fooled around, she said she had to go get ready to go out with her girl friend. I said I was going to go to the store, and that was that. But before I left, I noticed she left her sunglasses here, so I took dropped them by her place (we live in the same building.) And this dude is sitting there at her kitchen table, not 5 minutes after she left my apartment. So I set the glasses on the counter, and at that exact moment, her cell phone, also on the counter, bings with a text. I look down and it's from her ex, with the summary "I just have one question..." So that was that. I decided I'd have a look at her phone later after she went to sleep. I wrestled with the idea of "snooping" because I never have before. I consulted a few friends about it, and they all agreed that I should look. A couple things to keep in mind, none of this really has anything to do with her ex. While he seems to know what's going on (judging from my findings) he's not the problem. The dude is the problem. Also, she seems to delete all of her recieved messages fairly often. I don't think it occured to her to delete her sent messages, since that's where I pieced almost everything together from. I find one from her to the dude, a couple weeks back, shortly after the fight over me hanging out with my ex girlfriend saying, "Yeah, we talked, but I didn't tell him... I need to pick up my stuff later." It would seem that when she got mad and went out drinking, she went to his place. Then she sent him a couple messages saying, "I'm sorry if I hurt you, I didn't mean to..." And one from him saying, "Well I said everything that needs to be said. If you want to, I'll just walk away. What do you think?" To which she replied, "Thinking." But what really gets me, is that part earlier tonight. Not 5 minutes after we have sex, this dude texts her, "Home." "Yeah." "Alone?" "Yeah." And bam, he's there. I just... wow. I can't believe this is happening. Though for the record, I advise against snooping. Anything you come up with is "dirty," so you can't bring it up. I guess I'm going to have to meet with her ex and get him to tell me everything (he's an alumni of my fraternity.) EDIT: Just went to her apartment and checked out her computer (I mean, if I already snooped, may as well go for broke, right?) Found an email on her computer from him saying that he wasn't hurt by her, and that the only thing that hurts is not knowing what it was like to really be with her. Goes on to say that I'm a lucky guy and she's an amazing girl. This leaves me wondering what really happened. I'll update as I talk to people and find out more. Stay tuned. Edited March 24, 2008 by loveratud Added content Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveratud Posted March 24, 2008 Author Share Posted March 24, 2008 (edited) A text came in at like 12:30, when she was asleep, from him, saying "real number is 4." I can pretty well guess what that's referring to. Tomorrow morning over breakfast I'll ask her who texted her late last night, and what it was about. If she lies, I'll have caught her clean, since the phone was in plain sight, sitting on my desk in front of me when the text came in. It also occurs to me that I could send him messages from her phone to elicit information, then delete the sent\received texts. That may be passed justified snooping on into full blown crazy though... Edited March 24, 2008 by loveratud Added content Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 I don't think it takes a genius to figure out what is going on here. Why are you putting up with this? I don't mean to be harsh but it sounds like she is playing you for a fool. I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveratud Posted March 24, 2008 Author Share Posted March 24, 2008 Well I confronted her about the late night text, said that guy gives me a bad feeling, like he has suspect intentions. She said I have nothing to worry about. laughed at the idea (called him a little boy.) Turned it around and made me the crazy paranoid type for reading the text message, and said she can't have any guy friends without me being all paranoid (I've never called any of her friends out like this before.) She still seemed disturbed, but wouldn't admit to anything. She asked me if there are any other texts in her phone I wanted to ask about, I backed down and said "I don't know, are there? How would I know?" I wasn't willing to become the full on crazy phone reader in her eyes. So it ended up with my apologizing for being paranoid. We'll see if anything further develops. Of course, by going to her early I've cut off all my other options. If I ask any of her friends about this guy at this point, it'll look like I'm super paranoid and unwilling to drop it. Of course, my head might 'splode the next time I see this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
shanny Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 You're not happy with she's doing, and she's not happy with what you're doing.... sounds like a waste of time to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveratud Posted March 24, 2008 Author Share Posted March 24, 2008 You're not happy with she's doing, and she's not happy with what you're doing.... sounds like a waste of time to me. I stopped doing the thing that was bothering her. I'm certain she'll do the same. Our relationship is about compromise and sacrifice. If nothing else, I'll just pretend I don't know anything. Link to post Share on other sites
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