"Real" guys mistaken for "Nice" guys (rant)

[Lunar Sonata]

Let's get a couple things out of the way about myself. I'm perfectly happy with the core of who I am and continually strive to improve my flaws. I will never succumb to changing into somebody I'm not for the sake of higher chances to attract the opposite sex. I strive for quality, even if that means taking the harder, less traveled route to get it.

 

Now I want to talk about "Nice" guys. I hate this label so much. Every guy that says they're this label isn't and every girl who says this about a guy is akin to said guy being castrated.

 

I want to recognize "Real" guys mistaken for nice guys. Real guys like myself who don't take sh** from men or women. Real guys who know their worth and strive to be their best. The real guys who are mistaken for "nice" because when they do something nice to people, it is taken as weakness and overextending when in fact these real guys aren't weak or overextending: They are just doing something that feels second nature

 

I also want to extend a big middle finger to the rest of the world for even getting me to second guess myself about my genuine character. Forget you. I'm not too nice. The world is too mean. If I ever find somebody who values who I am, then great. If I ever have to dummy myself down just to increase the likelihood of pairing up with a substandard partner who just wants half of what I can offer, then I have truly lost.

 

To you real guys: You're not alone. Please continue being patient because our time will come. Now get off the forums and go outside. Be yourself!

 

Thanks for listening.

Edited March 24, 2008 by Lunar Sonata

[ClctveUnConscius]

Yowza amen dude. More people need this mind set, be yourself, dont change who you are for someone that doesnt like you.

[fishtaco]

That's great and all, but all you did was secure yourself into a spot where you are less likely to be used by women. Which is good, but it won't help you improves your success with attracting women.

 

You are thinking from a guy's perspective. What you said there made perfect sense. But there are countless books and articles out there describing how the thinking process of men and women differs. If you approach dating from a strong minded men perspective, yeah it's great, but it's still the men perspective. You're limiting yourself to luck, and women that would chase you.

 

See, here's how it works. If a man want to chase a woman, he needs to think like a woman. If a woman wants to chase a man, she needs to think like a man.

 

For me personally, I wasn't born with the "chemistry gene". It has nothing to do with physical appearance, intelligence, sense of humor, or even personality. It's something mysterious that women like. So my successes based on luck and women that would chase me is of very low frequency; this whole be yourself thing, simply didn't work. If your "chemistry gene" is stronger than mine, and you just randomly walk around and women would go after you, more power to you, congratulations, you can be yourself. However, for people with low "chemistry gene" power, we need to supplement by doing the hard work of chasing after women. As soon as you decide that's what you want to do, you have to now think like a woman (and modify your actions accordingly) or your success ratio will be very low, because women don't think like men.

 

And in general, this applies to more than dating, society rewards people that conform. If you want to take the high road, good for you, but be prepared for less rewards. I went through that, decided it's far easier to simply conform. I did, now I'm doing much better.

[Fluffybunny7]

Ya, I agree that you do get more rewards for conforming; but those rewards are usually just as comformed. I'm with Lunar on this one. I couldn't have said it better.