mb23 Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 I found this guy i knew at school online recently, and he didnt remember me at first, as we only knew each other a little bit back then.I posted some new photos of myself as I am now and told him they were on there, and he sent me a message asking if i wanted to have sex ?!. I used to like this guy at school, and i have started liking him again now, as he is still very good looking. The thing is, I dont know how to respond to this.I am 25, he is abit older. I guess this is a friends with benefits situation ?. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Huge RED FLAG!!! This guy does not want to be friends with someone he doesn't remember, he just wants to get laid. Walk away and don't look back. Link to post Share on other sites
AdrianaLima Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 If the first thing that comes to his head is 'Do you wanna have sex', you already know what his intentions are. Forget this loser, and don't hesitate about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mb23 Posted March 25, 2008 Author Share Posted March 25, 2008 I know he got out of quite a long term relationship a couple of months ago, but I dont know if that has anything to do with why he said that ?. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovegod Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Walk away and don't look back. Why? If she has a desire to have sex with him, she should go for it. There's nothing wrong with hooking up with someone for sex. Life doesn't have to be made from Disney movies all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mb23 Posted March 27, 2008 Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 (edited) Lovegod, do you think i should contact him again if he doesnt contact me?.The last thing I said was that I found him attractive,so i would , but I would like to get to know him aswell, since we dont know each other that well yet. Maybe i should just say something like, Hello gorgeous, how are you, if he doesnt respond, then see what happens. I'm not sure whether i want a relationship or not at the moment so it might not be a bad idea.I am worried that I will develop stronger feelings for him though and want something more, and i dont know whether he will or not. And also, could he possibly have been saying this as a joke, or do men usually mean it when they ask something like that ?.I also wonder whether to ask what he wants, either a one night stand or if he wants to be a fwb ?. Edited March 27, 2008 by mb23 Link to post Share on other sites
Lovegod Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 Lovegod, do you think i should contact him again if he doesnt contact me? Why not? He seems to be interested in you. Maybe i should just say something like, Hello gorgeous, how are you, if he doesnt respond, then see what happens. Sure. But why not add, "are you still gonna invite me to your place, or are you gonna make me guess where you live?" Basically, something along the lines of "HEY DUMBASS! Don't miss out on me because I'm here and available!" I'm not sure whether i want a relationship or not at the moment so it might not be a bad idea.I am worried that I will develop stronger feelings for him though and want something more, and i dont know whether he will or not. You're better off to start with a sexual interest first, and then progressing into a relationship afterward. Well, at least that's how it worked best for me. And also, could he possibly have been saying this as a joke, or do men usually mean it when they ask something like that ? From what I can gather about my own past, it's usually a bit of both. They take a shot and ask it as if it were a joke. If she gets offended, he'll say "Wow, you can't take a joke, can you?" If he gets a resounding "Yes", then he'll be in disbelief and possibly worry about screwing it up. I also wonder whether to ask what he wants, either a one night stand or if he wants to be a fwb ?. You'll find out after the first time (if there is a first time). Look at it this way, you've got nothing to lose here. You're not emotionally invested in him yet, you have no history, so why not go for it? Just make sure he wears protection. Link to post Share on other sites
Uchiha Sasuke Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 Oh GAWD if you find the guy attractive then go for it. He's not a loser for being blunt with you. One of the most beautiful things about human consciousness is going up to someone and saying "wanna fu*k"? (Timothy Leary quote paraphrased) If you're attractive and he's attracted to you then what's wrong with that? If you find him attractive and want to have sex there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Now, just make sure how much emotion you're willing to invest in this whole ordeal. If you want more than sex, lay down what you expect. If not, just screw him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mb23 Posted March 28, 2008 Author Share Posted March 28, 2008 (edited) Lovegod, i was thinking of something like that too, or saying something like are we still gonna get it on or what ?!.I mean he was blunt with me, so i dont see why i shouldnt be, and it's a flirty comment. However, i also dont want to scare him off, mind you, he didnt seem hesitant about sending his message !. I just hope i havent screwed it up by saying i wanted to get to know him as a person aswell.He might think that means i could possibly want a relationship, and he might not want that at all.But actually what i mean was i wouldnt want to just have sex with him the minute i see him, i would rather have a chat with him first as i would feel too strange doing that straight away . I've never had a one night stand before, so i dont know how i would feel about that.I really think i need to discuss this with him further, if he meant it.If he did mean it, i bet he was stunned i said i would !. I will leave it a while and see if he contacts me again, if not, i'll send him another message. Edited March 28, 2008 by mb23 Link to post Share on other sites
Lovegod Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 However, i also dont want to scare him off, mind you, he didnt seem hesitant about sending his message !. If he gets scared off, then he's a dumbass for asking! I'd say send him another message. If you don't get a response, he's a write-off Link to post Share on other sites
Author mb23 Posted March 28, 2008 Author Share Posted March 28, 2008 Well, he obviously musnt have been worried that his message would scare me off, so why would my message scare him off?.I mean, i'm only agreeing with what he said anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovegod Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 Exactly, it doesn't make sense. Send him another message and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mb23 Posted March 29, 2008 Author Share Posted March 29, 2008 I just said hello gorgeous, how are you, and put a kiss on the message .I didnt want to sound too desperate, since he hasnt responded to me yet, and thought that was just a friendly, flirty message. I wasnt sure if it was too soon to send it, but it has been afew days since i last contacted him, and i dont think he should be put off by that message. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mb23 Posted March 30, 2008 Author Share Posted March 30, 2008 He's just sent me a message saying please dont call me that, meaning gorgeous. And i said how come ?. Seems pretty cruel to me Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts