How to Know if Someone Finds You Attractive....I'm Clueless

[lacrossemom97]

My husband has a coworker who I've only met twice when I was with my husband....he is at least 9 years older than me, kind of a quiet guy but attractive in a boyish way. The first time we all met as couples, at the end of the evening, he looked at me and said we should all go out sometime. I said to him "just pick a place and we'll figure it out." He followed us to the door and said to me "no - you pick the place." Then the last time my husband had a business dinner with him, this person asked my husband to bring me but I was busy and he said he wished I could have come. Recently, I ran into him unexpectedly at his workplace, a hospital. He was on his way to see a patient. He came up behind me and nudged me in the arm....when I noticed who it was, I was surprised but flattered and kind of smiled and said "hey" and nudged back....kind of friendly but interesting because like I said we've only met twice so we're not on long-term buddy terms and he had never touched me before. Anyway, he asked me "how are you?", made some other small talk and then asked me how I was a second time which I found funny unless he has short-term memory loss. I felt like a high school girl and was kind of flattered because he is a busy doctor and I knew he had more important things to do than talk to me. Does this sound like flirting or just being friendly to a co-worker's wife?

 

I talk to males all the time but rarely do I second-guess the interactions like this....I know I should stop thinking about it but it just has be curious about his intent. Not that I would ever act on this in a million years, but at 42 years old, it would just be nice to know if I still have something that is interesting to the male species. I love my husband and would never be unfaithful but I do enjoy being around the rare fun man who can flirt platonically in a joking manner. Just wondering why I'm obsessing over this brief innocent encounter.

[kimiman]

Hi,

 

From what you say, it seems this guy is interested in you some how. Very difficult to ascertain but I would say to you, that if you really love your man and don't want to cheat, then don't reciprocate with this guy's flirting. If you do, it is only a matter of time before you start thinking about him, perhaps even miss him and then it could become dangerous. I know it must feel good to know that at your age, a man is still attracted to you, but you must also remember that at your age, a relationship formed is best kept intact. have a chat with your man about your attractiveness and how you would like to 'feel'.

 

Whatever you do don't give in to flirtation. remember its the first stage in courtship. it feels innocent i know, but it can stir up passion.

 

regards,

 

kimiman

[luvstarved]

By all means, enjoy the notion that you are still considered attractive at your "ripe old age" (I'm a little older than you, so no offense!!)

 

Enjoy like you would enjoy it if it were a guy on the street who gave you a look-see as you passed: smile, feel young and sexy and good about yourself - and...most importantly, KEEP WALKING!!!

 

This guy does not know you so it isn't that you are bonding over shared interests or characteristics. He probably either has a naturally flirtatious personality and it doesn't mean anything much, or he is a serial affair guy (you did not even mention whether he is married...?).

 

Neither one should fool you into thinking that the attention means more than that you are still worth a look/boff and/or possibly are perceived as an attainable target (how flattering is THAT??).

 

I totally understand the ego charge of having someone look at you "like that"!! But...just don't mistake it for anything more than it is...or otherwise make too much of it...or start resenting your H for not giving you enough of that attention (although, if you felt you needed it, it wouldn't be unreasonable to talk to him about it) 'cause then you are in the danger zone, if not with this guy, the very next one who gives you the same - which, having had it, you might find yourself seeking it out...