why did he do this to me? Shld i ask questions?

[Noos]

I worked with a guy for 16 months and i knew that he liked me - he flirted, would do anything for me, took care of me, complimented me etc. I went to his 30th birthday and to a show with him.

After I left the workplace to take on another job, he rang me to have dinner. We did and had a great time and he called me again, texted me all the time, and took me to dinner with his friends. He paid for me even though I offered and at this time, I still thought we were just hanging out. He then asked me out a few times when I couldn't meet him because I had other commitments. Anyway, I really liked him and he went silent for 3 weeks.

I called him up to take him to dinner to thank him for a reference and celebrate my new job. I got some liquid courage and told him I really liked him and asked why we weren't dating. he admitted he thought I wasn't interested when I didn't pick up on his signals the previous times and had vowed not to try anymore. He'd tried to go in for a kiss before but thought that I had rebuffed him by turning my cheek. He told me he'd liked me since November 2006 and afterwards we kissed and he wanted me to go home with him. I didn't that night.

On Easter Friday, we had dinner at his house and finally kissed all night and went to bed. He told me I was all he could think about in the week b/w our first kiss and Good Friday.

Before we did the deed, while he was naked, he said to me that he didn't have the time to dedicate to a relationship and he didn't want to disappoint me if we did get into a relationship and he couldn't meet my expectations. I argued for a relationship between us and he told me that I didn't have to convince him.

I asked him what his deal had been with other girls and he said that he didn't like them anywhere near as much as he liked me.

He was giving me a chance, (he reckons) to back out of sex just then - hardly fair after making out for three hours.

He kissed me and held me all night, stroked my hair and my face, told me I was sexy, my body was sensational and kissed me all over. We stayed together until 11am the next morning when he had an appointment somewhere. I haven't heard from him since then.

 

Why would a guy pursue a girl like that, for a very long time, and then pull the "I don't have time for a relationship" excuse?

 

Is he a commitmentphobe or a giant arsehole?

 

My older sister reckons I should ask him out for coffee and ask him what happened.

 

I feel devastated. I've never slept with anyone who hadn't claimed to be my boyfriend before.

 

What do you guys think I should do?