carrot10 Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 If a woman tells you she has fallen in love with you and you reply "I care about you alot" is there hope for that woman? Is she on the right path? or should she give up- the signs of love are there through actions-should she hold on? any thoughts Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 It means you have an emotional mismatch. It doesn't mean all hope is lost though - as long as it isn't made an issue of, that is. If the actions are there, enjoy them and don't make such an issue of the words part. That follows soon enough, if the emotional timing is right and the mismatch becomes closer to a match. Link to post Share on other sites
John Who Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 It means exactly what he said "I care about you". Don't know if you should hold on I guess it depends on how long you have been dating?? Link to post Share on other sites
Siphon9a Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I wouldn't put too much emphasis on it. He may just be kinda scared to say something like that. If the actions are showing you that he does, then I'd say just go with it. Some guys have trouble expressing themselves in that way and use actions to "say it". I used to be that way. Now I just spill it out most of the time, but my actions still express more to my SO than my words. Just let him know your there for him and I wouldn't mention it again until he does, but don't let it get you down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author carrot10 Posted March 25, 2008 Author Share Posted March 25, 2008 thanks guys! We've been dating exclusively for 6 1/2 months. We moved very fast in this relationship. I am very afraid and it took alot for me to say that. But it's honestly how I feel. I am not going to say another word about it. He knows how I feel and I am happy that he knows. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 It means what it says. Whether it will become more is up to the guy. When I dated my wife, I did not say "I love you" until I knew it for certain. However, if I had said, "I care for you a lot," it would have meant that "I am close to saying I love you, but I am not ready to make that commitment yet." Some guys say it to deflect the girl from digging for more. If he says that he cares, then she will hang on for more possibly. If he said that he loves you, then you wold expect more. If he said that he doesn't know what his feelings are, it wold probably turn into a long discussion about his feelings which he would rather avoid. Personally, I think it is a matter of taking it one day at a time. Don't rush it, and enjoy what you have each day. If it is love, it will happen. If it is not, then it won't. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 As someone who choked on "I love you" for many years, I can help It's not about you, it's about him. If my experience is any guide, it was about my commitment to what the words meant and the emotional vulnerability attached thereto. I took the words and their meaning for me seriously and my emotions overwhelmed me and clammed me up. That said, for less emotional men, it's about control. Say the words, give up control. BTW, for the ladies out there who are lucky enough to have a man who shows he loves you in his actions and says it too, could you please make an effort to be proactive in telling him how you feel, rather than responding to him all the time....I've noted a lot of this, once I got over my block. Perhaps this is a knee-jerk reaction in women due to their responsibilities in the "I love you" department Anyway, OP, don't sweat it. If he really does love you, his actions and attention will demonstrate it. You can teach him the words later Link to post Share on other sites
Author carrot10 Posted March 25, 2008 Author Share Posted March 25, 2008 Carhill, you always give the best advice! I "feel" that he loves me. He has never been married and is in his late 40's. That says alot! He does control his feelings. I respect that. All I know is that I do love him and will give him as much time as he needs. Just by knowing him, I have changed for the better. I am happy for each day we have together! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Another satisfied customer Just so you know, as an adult, I never heard my mother tell me she loved me until she started becoming demented. I think she knew she was beginning to lose her mind and had some things to say before it went. Her disease changed my life in many ways. The "I love you" block was one of them. Never too late to learn You'll be fine. If you make a safe place for your man to share those feelings with you, the words will come.... Link to post Share on other sites
Balthazar Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 It means I have feelings for you, but I am ,definitely, smarter than saying "I Love you" because that will get me in a world of trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Don't worry about it.. If you know deep down that he loves you.. words are just words... My first ex.. never told me in 29 years.. he would never compliment me.. nothing.. we had sooo many arguments about this.. but he was just sooo stubborn.. Anyway.. when I decided to leave him.. after 18 yrs of common-law ... he then told me I was beautiful and that he loved me... yeah right.. too late buster.. I knew he always loved me.. and I'm sure he still does, 11 yrs later. Link to post Share on other sites
Covonia Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Don't worry about it.. If you know deep down that he loves you.. words are just words... My first ex.. never told me in 29 years.. he would never compliment me.. nothing.. we had sooo many arguments about this.. but he was just sooo stubborn.. Anyway.. when I decided to leave him.. after 18 yrs of common-law ... he then told me I was beautiful and that he loved me... yeah right.. too late buster.. I knew he always loved me.. and I'm sure he still does, 11 yrs later. So basically you broke up because he didn't feed your ego and self-esteem? How, very nice, I think I need to change my sexuality from hetro to homo, men are easier to understand. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueHaiku Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Covonia - Don't give her a hard time. It's not about egotism - it's about feeling loved. Women tend to be very verbally oriented whereas men tend to action oriented. Women need to learn that about men, to learn to see what they do and not depend on words as much. But men also need to learn that about women, and to manage to choke out the words on occasion. I doubt she left him because she's an egotist. She left him because she asked him to give her what she needed to feel loved and he refused. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Covonia - Don't give her a hard time. It's not about egotism - it's about feeling loved. Women tend to be very verbally oriented whereas men tend to action oriented. Women need to learn that about men, to learn to see what they do and not depend on words as much. But men also need to learn that about women, and to manage to choke out the words on occasion. I doubt she left him because she's an egotist. She left him because she asked him to give her what she needed to feel loved and he refused. Hahaha .. don't worry he better get up early if he wants to give me a hard time.. he's too young to understand a lot of stuff about relationships.. Link to post Share on other sites
Covonia Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Hahaha .. don't worry he better get up early if he wants to give me a hard time.. he's too young to understand a lot of stuff about relationships.. I wasn't having a go, I was merely trying to understand. Women are hardly one of life's simplicities. You can bring a woman, the moon and stars and she'll throw it back in your face because she wants something extra. For men it's just about finding someone who isn't so demanding, and for all my youth and inexperience; that's one lesson I learnt very quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueHaiku Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Bah Covonia! Not all women are like that. Just as, I have earnest faith, not all men freak out when they find a nice, non-demanding, non-bitchy, reasonable, grounded, happy, professional woman and suddenly start blithering about how they aren't ready for a serious relationship. Keep the faith! Link to post Share on other sites
Covonia Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Bah Covonia! Not all women are like that. Just as, I have earnest faith, not all men freak out when they find a nice, non-demanding, non-bitchy, reasonable, grounded, happy, professional woman and suddenly start blithering about how they aren't ready for a serious relationship. Keep the faith! You're right, only 0.9% of women aren't like how I described, in the grand scheme of things 0.9% of women out of a population of a few billion isn't so bad. Men are simple creatures at heart, we are easy to please, women on the other hand, well lets just say I'll be purchasing "How to get a decent woman, for dummies" soon enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Covonia Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 To answer the OP's question(I'm probably too young, I mean 19 is practically still in diaper's compared to a thirty year old) but here it goes. When a guy says he cares about you a lot, he generally he cares, he's just not interested. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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