ITSBREAKINGMYHEART Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 This is the situation im in, ive been with my partner for 16 years we have 2 children, our relationship has always been good apart from 1 thing, i don't no if its me being paranoid or if this is normal, ive always devoted myself 100% to my partner i have no secrets from him and nothing to hide,i can talk to him and tell him anything, i always thought that it was the same for him until recently, unfortunately he lost his sister to cancer 2 weeks ago so iam trying to put it down to that, my partner meet up with some family members of his at his sisters funeral one was his female cousin who he has not seen for over 20 years, they hit it off straight away and have been talking on the phone and texting ever since, today by mistake he sent me a text which was meant to be for his cousin it said i have never been able to talk to anyone like i talk to u, this hurt me so much to the point where i checked the rest of his messages, only today there is over 20 texts from his cousin and also about the same in reply's i wont go into to many detail but to me this seems like a bit more then family texts, in fact i would say that if i didn't no it was his cousin i would think that there was something going on between them, maybe its just me being silly but is it normal for you to refer to your cousin as gorgeous one, and every text ends in love you loads or miss you more, in one text which he sent it says I love my women on top, then the next one he sent was sorry i no that was a bit close to the mark, do i put the way he is being down to his sister dying? is this normal? he has left me feeling so hurt, he is at work now and all im doing is sitting here feeling like crap, i cant stop crying at the moment, am i being silly? Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 I think you have a right to feel concerned. It truly sounds like he is FLIRTING WITH HIS COUSIN. I wouldn't be okay witht his behaviour if I was you. It's understandable that people go through some grief and transitions when they lose someone they love... but YOU should be the one he goes to for help and support. I hope you have addressed this with him. If you haven't- you need to do that. It is odd to be having those sorts of exchanges with a relative. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ITSBREAKINGMYHEART Posted March 26, 2008 Author Share Posted March 26, 2008 Thanks for your quick reply, i did confront him about it and apart from making a big deal about me reading his texts he said that he just clicked with her when they saw each other, he said that i was being silly and that he just get on really well with her,the bit i read about woman on top i read when he was at work so not been able to confront him about that, even though he is not a violent man i am wondering if i should mention it, i no all i will get is allot of shouting about reading his texts again. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 But I think the problem is that the person he should be turning to and clicking with right now is YOU.... not his long lost cousin. A relationship is a partnership! I don't think you have to read any more texts- you already know there has been some mildly shocking exchanges between the two of them. You can't shy away from how this is making you feel to avoid an arguement, Things don't get solved that way. Is there any way you can appraoch it from a different angle? Instead of being confrontaional about his new "friendship"... could you discuss feeling left out. He can fight with you about checking his phone or confronting him on the texting... but he can't fight with you with regards to how this makes you feel. I'd play the hurt card with him. How exactly is he related to her? First cousin, second cousin? Blood related? Or is this a cousin so far removed in the bloodline that may give you true cause for concern? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ITSBREAKINGMYHEART Posted March 26, 2008 Author Share Posted March 26, 2008 I do agree with you about not needing to read any more texts, i shall try the hurt card, hopefully that will make him see where im coming from, and its his dads sister daughter so that makes them 1st cousins. Thanks for the advice i really do appreciate it Link to post Share on other sites
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