Nonsense Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 I am a happily married woman. He is a miserably married man. I made friends with a guy at work a couple of years ago. We share some crazy low self esteem issues and are weird about some of the same stuff. We talk easily with each other because we both know the other one probably understands what we are saying, even when it is totally illogical or stupid. Neither of us feel like the other is going to judge us. We never talk as if anything more than friendship is going to happen. I dont think that either of us intends for that to happen. Not long ago he told me about his relationship with another woman in the office and they seem to share a lot of the same things as we do. He talks about his miserable marriage and I think hers is not so hot either, so they share that topic. I am happily married so we dont share that in common. He told me that he has feelings for her and that he thinks she feels the same, but they dont talk about it and have not done anything...he just said he thinks they share an unspoken vibe. He has been talking to her a lot lately, in and out of each others offices for long periods of time. He has not been talking to me as much lately. Here's the problem. I am jealous! Jealous because as much as I would not start anything with him, I think I do have a bit of a crush on him because of how open and vulnerable he has been with me in the past couple of years. I am jealous that he spends his time talking with her, when I used to be his go to person. I would never tell him this and he is the kind of guy who would never guess it (low self esteem and all). How do I stop being jealous and kind of mad at a guy who has done nothing wrong and I have no want or desire to "get with him"? Maybe I just miss the closeness we shared and I know that he is sharing with her and not me. I know its crazy and insane, but I need to shake this feeling and get back to being a normal person.....help!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 How do I stop being jealous and kind of mad at a guy who has done nothing wrong and I have no want or desire to "get with him"? Maybe I just miss the closeness we shared and I know that he is sharing with her and not me. I know its crazy and insane, but I need to shake this feeling and get back to being a normal person.....help!!!!!! Redirect all this energy into your husband and marriage. Talk to your H and develop more closeness with him. You wouldn't care about having this guy's attention if you were sharing with your husband. I imagine that your H doesn't quite know the level of relationship you've developed with this guy at work. And keeping that from him creates distance between you, so you have been diverting closeness from your H to this other guy. Bring it back to your H - HE is the man in your life, not this other married guy. The jealousy will fade when you are less invested in this friendship, or emotional affair. Get out of it now before you do some major damage to your marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
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