Arienette Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 I'm fairly young. I'm in college. I live with some roomates and my boyfriend of a year and a half. My last long-term relationship lasted two and a half years. I cheated a lot during this relationship (5 different people, countless occasions). I didn't feel very bad about it because my boyfriend was secretive, possessive, and CRAZY. I feel like maybe I got a little too accustomed to being unfaithful during this time though. (Cheating for me has never involved sex, usually just touching and kissing.) My current relationship is a much more loving one, but I did cheat once. I told my boyfriend about the incident immediately after it happened. I don't like keeping secrets. Playful drunken flirtation is not unusual between me, my friends, my boyfriend, his friends, etc. We're flirtatious people. Unfortunately, flirtation has led to my developing a serious crush on one of my best friends. It's like one day, a switch flipped and now he's a guy I'm ridculously attracted to instead of my friend of many years. I was more than surprised when I learned he had similar feelings. I don't want to be a cheater. I don't want to leave my boyfriend. I know things would not work out in a relationship situation with my best friend, but I can't help being attracted to him. And aside from all this, my best friend and I live in different cities. Breaking up with my boyfriend would mean that I have to relocate and change schools. Um, help? Should I seek therapy? Is it possible to work through these things without cutting off contact from one person or another? Link to post Share on other sites
Starla Posted March 29, 2008 Share Posted March 29, 2008 i'm not sure why you are being so tough on yourself!! you're young!!! you should be having a laugh with your mates, meeting new people...not feeling bogged down under the strain of a heavy relationship. look, you don't need therapy lol...but the fact is you cheated, dated other guys when you were in a steady relationship and now have developed feelings for someone besides your bf. all this is telling you that you are just at a stage in your life where you are in transition...between childhood, where decisions were made for you and things were settled, and married bliss in adulthood, where you ARE ready to settle down with that one person. at the mo, you're just at that fantastic time where you can go out, have fun, meet new people, and just enjoy different wee experiences/flings, whatever....with no heavy $hit!!! don't even think about relocating...cool it with your bf, but don't make a drama out of this, because that would just be silly. for someone so young, you've had two long term relationships....why is that?? whatever happened to enjoying youth and having fun and more importantly, leaning to be an independent young woman who can stand on her own!!! if you were truly independent and self-sufficient, you would never even contemplate relocating over some guy...you would prioritise, putting yourself and your college education FIRST!! and if he doesn't like it, hell HE can move!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Arienette Posted March 30, 2008 Author Share Posted March 30, 2008 I am trying to put my education first. DEFINITELY. It's just that I really can't afford to live where I'm living without my boyfriend. He has a career and makes more money than me. I'm only working part-time, and most of my money goes towards groceries and school. I would have to go back to my hometown, which is where my best friend lives. I'm just DISTRAUGHT because my life seems unstable, and I have nothing to rely on. Boo. Link to post Share on other sites
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