jrdn00 Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 Hi everyone, I'm new here, so before I get into this, here's a little about me and my bf. We are both 21, have been dating for four months, and in almost every way, we are the same person. We get along very well for the most part, if there is a problem, it's talked out, and settled in five minutes or less...except for this one thing. He is the most stubborn person I have ever met. He does what he wants to do and that's it. He expects me to do the same, which I do, but it presents a problem and we are together wanting to do two different things. I am always the one that sacrifices and goes along with what he wants to do. I don't even think that I would have noticed this problem except for the fact that his stubborn ways are usually OK with me. What is really bothering me, is that one of my friends is getting married in August. We all went to high school together, so they know each other and have hung out a few times as well. However, he says that he hates weddings and has refused to go with me. I was even willing to get passed the wedding as long as he came to the reception, but he won't even do that. As much as I want to look past this one too, I can't seem to. I really want him to be there as do all of our friends, not to mention the bride and groom. What should I do about this? Does anyone have any ideas how to get a man with this amount of stubbornness to compromise every once in a while?? Should I just let it go and go to the wedding and reception by myself? Any responses would be appreciated! Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 i'd be a tad worried about dating a guy who "hates weddings" for no apparent reason. i mean - is that going to be his excuse for never marrying you as well?! i think dating a guy who knows nothing about compromise is going to be hell eventually, because differences will arise more and more often. so if i were you, i'd insist he learns to compromise, and as a start, goes to this reception with you. good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author jrdn00 Posted July 14, 2003 Author Share Posted July 14, 2003 Thanks, yes I have thought about that too. However, he is very clear that marriage for him is a long way away (which is fine, I'm nowhere near ready for that). I want to insist on him going to at least the reception, but how do you insist to someone that will laugh at the fact that you are ever "insisting"? Plus, I can't really see grounds (at least at this point in time, considering that its only been four months), for ending a relationship due to his stubbornness for not attending a wedding. Hmmmmm, I just don't know how to handle this. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 I would probably just say "fine, i'll go without you" (after insisting a bit). And then be really busy & have no time for him for a while. See how he makes it up for you. I mean - he has to learn it's not all about what HE wants! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 Please forgive my BUTting in here, BUT... I don't personally feel that THIS wedding is the only issue. As yes suggested in her previous post (not the latest one), one should wonder WHY. Why is he so against weddings. Is it only weddings or is he as stubborn as a mule on many things? My advice...Better explore it (talk it out) with him, and get his reasons for dislike of weddings. Maybe there is something more below the surface here. Maybe he hates something simple about weddings. Jeesh, he may even feel he is an awful dancer, and at the reception, what happens after? YUP, you guessed it...DANCING. LOL. Listen, don't resort to use of what could be described almost as manipulation... I would probably just say "fine, i'll go without you" (after insisting a bit). And then be really busy & have no time for him for a while. See how he makes it up for you. I mean - he has to learn it's not all about what HE wants! IMHO, this is NOT the way to go hunn. Be caring, patient, yet direct, and discuss it with him. Gotta be more here than meets the eye, and it could be the most simply solved issue in the world. On the other hand, if he's just not gonna give in cuz... Well, maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship. Curt Link to post Share on other sites
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