Author Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 I completely believe you. But I'm interested in the WHY...what makes you opt NOT to in their case? What makes them 'sacred'? I get that you wouldn't, don't take me wrong. But I'm trying to understand your view...if its ok to sleep with someone's H...why is it NOT ok to sleep with your friend's H? You've often claimed that there's nothing wrong with sleeping with MM, and that you could in fact be helping their marriage...so again...WHY is the line in the sand where its at? What makes OTHER people's H's ok to sleep with, but not your friend's? Hum.. I thought this was fairly easy to understand.. Why?... There are things I would do to my family and friends that I wouldn't do to complete stangers... same with you I suppose.. Friendship IMO is the most sacred thing after my love for my children. I would never sacrifice my friendship for any man in the world.. Love DO not last..IMO but a real 'friendship' last for a lifetime.. I have 2 'best friends".. one is a widow and one is still married.. and they know they can trust me.. I just can't get how you can't get this.. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 "I would never risk damaging my friends' and family's marriages but I don't care about how I might be damaging other peoples' marriages." Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 "I would never risk damaging my friends' and family's marriages but I don't care about how I might be damaging other peoples' marriages." The thing is I AM NOT damaging other people marriages.. Gosh.. how hard is this to understand.. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 The thing is I AM NOT damaging other people marriages.. Gosh.. how hard is this to understand.. If so, why are your friends' and family's marriages not considered prey-worthy? You're not damaging anything, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 That's the same basic point I'm getting to as well. If you're not hurting anything...if you're not damaging anything...then what makes friends/family off limits? Look...I GET that they're off limits, and agree that they should be. But that's by MY reasoning, which is that what you do DOES hurt people all the time. And you don't want to inflict that same pain and suffering on people that you know and care for. But that's not the line you take...and if that's not the way you think/feel, then your reasons for not sleeping with friends/family's husbands must be different than mine. So I'm interested in what they are. Make sense? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 If so, why are your friends' and family's marriages not considered prey-worthy? You're not damaging anything, right? Oh well.. if you can't understand my previous post.. there is nothing I can do .. some people just don't want to understand.. I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Oh well.. if you can't understand my previous post.. there is nothing I can do .. some people just don't want to understand.. I guess. I totally understand what you're saying but what you're saying is conflicting. You draw the line because you know there's potential damage. You are knowingly risking potential damage to all your clients'...marriages, all for the mighty...errr..gifts...and personal validation due to fear of growing old. That to me, is hypocrisy, at it's worst... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 That's the same basic point I'm getting to as well. If you're not hurting anything...if you're not damaging anything...then what makes friends/family off limits? Look...I GET that they're off limits, and agree that they should be. But that's by MY reasoning, which is that what you do DOES hurt people all the time. And you don't want to inflict that same pain and suffering on people that you know and care for. But that's not the line you take...and if that's not the way you think/feel, then your reasons for not sleeping with friends/family's husbands must be different than mine. So I'm interested in what they are. Make sense? Oh my gawd.. how can I explain this.. See I wouldn't lend money to a complete stranger.. would you? but I would lend money to my friends and family.. there is a difference.. maybe someone can explain it better than I can.. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 You're still not giving me a WHY, Lizzie. What, SPECIFICALLY, are you avoiding by not sleeping with these people? Are you avoiding hurting them? Are you avoiding hurting yourself? Again...if there's no harm in sleeping with someone's spouse...there's no harm. Then it shouldn't matter WHO'S spouse you sleep with, following that logic. Seriously...help me see the difference that YOU SEE in here. WHY are they off limits, if there's nothing wrong with sleeping with a MM? Shouldn't it be better, since you're garaunteed to know that person better? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 Just like a drug-dealer is not damaging the families by supplying the dad with cocaine? Sex is not cocaine.. come on now.. be reasonable.. don't compare oranges with apples. You are hurting these families. You are hurting them by opening this avenue to allow these guys to do these things. You are also not showing a whole lot of respect towards yourself. To let these guys use you like this? I have to disagree.. I am NOT hurting them.. they have absolutely no idea... You think they use me.. well I happen to think the opposite.. I am using them.. Just because you don't believe in marriage doesn't mean these other wives shouldn't. Just because it doesn't directly affect you when you sleep with these MM, doesn't mean it's right. Maybe it's not right for you.. but it's OK with me.. we just have to agree that we don't have the same moral system.. I don't see how you can trust these men.. These are the same men that take their vows to their wives and dump them in the trash. They didn't dump their W.. no one has... Vows are baloney.. man-made crap.. this will change eventually.. it has started to change.. less and less people believe in marriage or 'till death do us part' crap. Where is the substance behind these men? And yes these guys ARE hurting their children. These children will eventually end up living with divorced parents. I know first hand how much that affects children. You are a part of this chain of hurt that these children and families feel. If they get divorced.. it certainly won't be because of me.. cause they know there can't be any emotional commitment.. other than friendship.. and I know for sure that these guys are good parents. Honestly you have been lucky so far that none of these women have found out and gone psycho on you. You are also lucky that you don't have any STDs. However just because those things didn't happen to you, doesn't mean they won't. You play with fire enough, you will get burned. Only one found out.. she knows where I live but never showed up.. I doubt she will.. and yes, I trust them.. most of them DO NOT have the time or the energy to have more than one OW.. so unless they get the STD from their W.. I think the chances are pretty slim.. I get tested every year.. just got my tests back a few weeks ago.. I'm clean. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 You're still not giving me a WHY, Lizzie. What, SPECIFICALLY, are you avoiding by not sleeping with these people? Are you avoiding hurting them? Are you avoiding hurting yourself? Again...if there's no harm in sleeping with someone's spouse...there's no harm. Then it shouldn't matter WHO'S spouse you sleep with, following that logic. Seriously...help me see the difference that YOU SEE in here. WHY are they off limits, if there's nothing wrong with sleeping with a MM? Shouldn't it be better, since you're garaunteed to know that person better? OK.. how about .. because I love them too much.. would you sleep with your sister? your mother? why? same logic I suppose.. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Not at all...I don't subscribe to your concept that it doesn't hurt to sleep with someone's spouse, so there's no parallel here. As you've said...apples to oranges. Answer the question directly, please. WHY SPECIFICALLY ARE THEY OFF LIMITS? Why is sleep with a sister or a mom off limits? Because it would hurt them. It would hurt the entire family if anyone found out. Because the possibility exists that it could cause all kinds of problems for a large number of people involved. But by your reasoning...sleeping with a MM causes none of those issues. So sleeping with a friend's MM should cause no issues as well. Help me to understand what makes one different from another if you see no harm in sleeping with a MM? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 No, I don't think hurt; indifferent.....interesting. Thank you, Lizzie. You've helped me today Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 Sorry.. but I don't see any difference.. in-laws are family.. in my book they are.. I love them too much.. this is my only reason I guess.. can't think of anything else.. I just have no desire to sleep with my friend's H or my son-in-law.. ewwww... he's like my son.. gawd.. Well if you can't understand my theory I guess we'll have to stop discussing this.. there is nothing I can think of except what I already posted.. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Lizzie...you've made it clear that you wouldn't sleep with them. You've not come out and point blank and said WHY you wouldn't. Please...don't dodge the question. Answer it point blank and up front...WHY is it wrong to sleep with a friend's spouse and but perfectly ok to sleep with someone's spouse that you don't know???? Leave the family out of it if you like...explain the friend side of it then. But dont' dodge it because it makes you uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 If I'm mistaken...quote back to me where you specifically answered the why. Not that you wouldn't...not that its "ewww". But the WHY in words. Please. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 Lizzie...you've made it clear that you wouldn't sleep with them. You've not come out and point blank and said WHY you wouldn't. Please...don't dodge the question. Answer it point blank and up front...WHY is it wrong to sleep with a friend's spouse and but perfectly ok to sleep with someone's spouse that you don't know???? Leave the family out of it if you like...explain the friend side of it then. But dont' dodge it because it makes you uncomfortable. Because I see my friendship as 'sacred' and no, I would never .... (can't find the word here.. I'll think about it..) The other W.. I don't know them.. and I don't feel sorry for them.. simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 Because I see my friendship as 'sacred' and no, I would never .... (can't find the word here.. I'll think about it..) The other W.. I don't know them.. and I don't feel sorry for them.. simple. OK, so the reason you wouldn't do it to the friend, because you know that it would hurt them. You care about them, and don't want to do that to them, and to their friendship. But, its ok to do it to those that you don't know, and don't care for. You don't feel sorry for them. (BUT THIS IMPLIES THAT YOU WOULD FOR YOUR FRIEND) Would this mean that you recognize deep down that you ARE hurting those other spouses that you've not met? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 OK.. how about .. because I love them too much.. would you sleep with your sister? your mother? why? No because it's incestious (spellin'?) Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 No because it's incestious (spellin'?)He's already removed the familial aspect in a more recent post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 OK, so the reason you wouldn't do it to the friend, because you know that it would hurt them. You care about them, and don't want to do that to them, and to their friendship. But, its ok to do it to those that you don't know, and don't care for. You don't feel sorry for them. (BUT THIS IMPLIES THAT YOU WOULD FOR YOUR FRIEND) Would this mean that you recognize deep down that you ARE hurting those other spouses that you've not met? Tell me how you can hurt someone who has absolutely NO idea you exist? These W have NO idea their H are cheating.. how can I hurt them? With my friends.. same thing.. if she would have NO idea I was sleeping with her H.. how can I hurt her? It's just my moral.. about my friends.. I would feel like I'm an hypocrit when talking with them.. I would feel bad.. I know I would never even think about it.. never did.. never will. Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted April 4, 2008 Share Posted April 4, 2008 ***Sally pops popcorn and pulls up the barcalounger for this one...*** Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 ***Sally pops popcorn and pulls up the barcalounger for this one...*** Please don't .. this is getting boring.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Share Posted April 4, 2008 OK.. here's the word I was looking for : LOYALTY... I have loyalty for my friends.. not for strangers.. Link to post Share on other sites
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