T - mac Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 ok well first of all, im only 16, but i dont want any1 telling me o ur too young to do that and stuff like that, i just need a little help with this, the rest is my buisness... ok well my friend cant make up her mind about me, she keeps going from liking me to not liking me, so she asked if i wanted to be fwb... and i think its a good idea because of our situation... but shes not sure what she wants in it... and i know there are alot of things that we should talk about first. like rules and stuff. so what would be some good rules that we should have to keep things from falling appart? Link to post Share on other sites
Elyssa Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 (edited) The whole point of being friends with benefits is that there are no rules. You hook up whenever you both want to and that's it. You're not exclusive and keep on dating other people, although there usually is an unspoken common courtesy rule of not talking about the other people you hook up with unless specifically asked. It's a very slippery slope and more often that not, it goes wrong and someone's feelings get hurt. -E Edited March 31, 2008 by Elyssa Link to post Share on other sites
Author T - mac Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 yeah and thats why i think that we should talk about it first, so that that doesnt happen... i just want to make sure that it doesnt turn into anything more than fwb, cus that would really complicate things. Link to post Share on other sites
Elyssa Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Setting ground rules isn't going to prevent the whole thing from going sour. It happens to people with more experience and better grasp of their emotions than two 16-year olds. I know this is not what you want to hear, but a 16 year old girl simply doesn't have the emotional ability to handle this kind of arrangement, and eventually she will develop feelings, and if you don't reciprocate, she will be crushed. It could work the other way around as well. If you don't like her enough to date her, leave her alone, for both your sakes. -E Link to post Share on other sites
Author T - mac Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 ok well ill see how it goes, ill just go with it for a while, if she starts to like me, then i will start going out with her, if i start to like her, and she doesnt like me, then ill just stay away from her. ive had to do it before, and if i have to i can do it again. so does that sound like it would work? Link to post Share on other sites
Elyssa Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 (edited) I hate stating the obvious, but.... she wouldn't have suggested becoming fwb if she didn't like you already. From there, it's only going to escalate. She sounds confused. I suggest you figure out how YOU feel currently. If you're serious about becoming fwb with her, ask her if she will be okay with you dating other girls. If she doubts about the answer, then this is already headed for disaster. At that point, either date her or let her go. -E Edited March 31, 2008 by Elyssa Link to post Share on other sites
Author T - mac Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 well thats the problem. i do like her, but things just havent worked out, cus she doesnt know what she feels about me, so if we are fwb we wont have to worry about all that crap. but i dont know, it wouldnt hurt to just not do it. ill have to sleep on this... gnight, ill be back in the morning to figure this thing out again. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 You can never exit a FWB situation without either participant getting hurt, it's not possble. The girl in question sounds like she's more confused than anything else and she might learn to develop deeper feelings for you in the long run. But in the end she might be the one with the deeper scar in the long run. Even if you have to continue following through with the whole thing, I hope the two of you practive safe sex more than anything else, as you both are still young and the chances of unplanned pregnancy are high. Link to post Share on other sites
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