another fell in love with my best friend thread

[Razgriz]

I joined because this situation has been bothering me off and on the past few months and I'm just tired of it, and need some advice other than friends and family. This may be a long read but I feel that I need to write out everything about this situation.

 

Anyway, this is a pretty common theme. I'm 18 years old and a senior in high school. I'll be graduating in June of this year, and heading to college in the fall. I've been in love with this girl ever since freshman year (about 4 years time) and I consider her to be my best friend. I tried to ask her out and be more than friends freshman year but there was another guy involved and yeah things didn't work out. We were really close that year, talked a lot on AIM about anything and everything. After I tried to ask her out, we grew apart and didn't talk that much for the past 2 years.

 

In July 2007, which was the beginning of senior year, I spent a little time talking to her since we had a class or two together, and found myself falling in love with her all over again. Since its our last year in HS together I decided that I would take a chance and tell her how I felt. That was in September 2007. Of course, she didn't feel the same way and on top of that she has a boyfriend that she is pretty serious with, and they've been together for a while now. Ever since September, I've been trying to let my feelings for her go, I've never felt this way about any other girl ever. I got a girlfriend for a few months (October-December), which definitely helped but things didn't work out and I've been alone since December.

 

I thought that by now, I'd be over her completely but sometimes I see her status on myspace or a bulletin or whatever and its usually about her boyfriend. It makes my heart ache all over again. It isn't as bad as it was before, but it definitely hurts. She's spending her whole spring break with him and I can't help but wonder why she loves him, when he's an @$$hole. Everyone knows it, including her, yet she's still with him. Damn it, what do I do now? I thought for a while that I was over her completely, but obviously I'm not. I've been looking for a girl, but its been a while since I've found a girl I'm interested in at all.

 

I feel like I've wasted all of high school, pining after her. I've missed numerous opportunities, just because I was too busy pining and hoping and wishing that she could open her eyes and we could be together. I didn't realize it until recently but its the sad truth. Loving her has just messed me up completely. I'm pretty sure I'm skipping prom, because I don't have anyone to go with, and it would just make me feel like crap, whether or not she's there. I guess I'm just lonely and this whole situation certainly doesn't help me feel any better.

 

How do I let go of my feelings for her completely? I don't talk to her on a regular basis, I've talked to her once earlier this month, and that was it. I hope I never fall in love again, this is just too much to deal with.

Edited March 31, 2008 by Razgriz
added more details

[xpaperxcutx]

You're suffering unrequited love. Yes, your're feeling miserable, alone, and more than anything sad, but don't let it be the marker that closes you off to the world. You're 18, and about to head off to college, that means starting anew, and seeing the world on your own. Take HS as just a stage in life that you're graduating from, and that means putting all the drama and frustration behind you.

 

It's clearly not the end of world if the girl you love doesn't feel the same way. What is love anyways? I'll leave it to you to interpret. But you're still young, there's still a part of the world you haven't explored. Besides if the both of you are going off to separate colleges, chances are the relationship wouldn't work long term.

 

Don't beat yourself up over her. Enjoy your senior year.

[Razgriz]

Thank you for your reply. What you've posted makes a lot of sense....and maybe its better if I look at it that way. It just gets hard sometimes, and the loneliness gets the better of me.