what do you make of this?

[zulu girl]

I left my husband of 3 years ( and 2 kids) due to him being very nasty and abusive,

 

I spent a long time, on myself and my kids, getting us happy and into a routine.

 

While I was doing this, this guy was busy telling me how interested he was in me, he seemed very nice, but I said I was not ready, he said that was fine.

 

We became good friends, and I discovered, that he too, has 2 kids and and ex, so we talked a lot from then on because we had a lot in common.

 

he invited me to a bbq at his house with his friends, and I had so much fun and met some really nice people, so when I had my friends over to my house for dinner, I wanted to and thought it would be polite, to invite him over,

 

Well while this went well, we had to much to drink and ended up sleeping together, after we did this, we said we both agreed that we were not ready for anything serious, so not to ruin what we might have in the future, we decided not to let that happen again.

 

That was fine with both sides.

 

About 2 days after this happened, he did a mega back flip, and pushed me away, he wont talk to me, and has told me not to contact him ever again.

 

I would understand if he said, hey, Im just not interested in you that way, but he has promised me that that is not the case.

 

He said he just wanted to focus on his kids, and he has trust issues. due to ex and girl after the ex.

 

I honestly just want it to go back to what it was before we slept together, just good friends. but he has told me he cant do that,

 

So, I did as he asked and didnt contact him, about a month went by, and I noticed in the paper that his fav band was coming to town, and with out thinking, sent him a text message and asked if he knew about it and if he was going.

 

I got nothing back but, dont contact me again.

 

He promises me, that he was not using me and not only trying to get one thing out of me. But thats exactly how it feels,

 

I really am very good at picking they bad from the good, but I would have never guessed he would be a user and only after sex.

 

What do you think? Does he like me in that way still? or not?

 

at the moment I have no contact with him, but why on earth did he do this?????????

[shanny]

Well he either used you or had a meltdown after you had sex. I'm leaning towards the meltdown. I assume you were the first person that he had slept with since his ex and that can be traumatic, especially if he didn't want his past relationship to end. I'm sure he likes you a lot but that feeling of "this is great, but it's not her" could have hit him. Maybe he's not over it yet.

 

Since you are both getting out of bad relationships, it's probably best that you just play the field and be independent for awhile. He may eventually come crawling back but hopefully you'll have found someone else by then.

 

And I'm sorry, but not calling someone after sex, for no matter what reason is wrong. He at least owes you an explanation.

 

I don't know if this helped... but good luck.