21 FEELS 100!!!!!!1

[ANGEL]

I've been with my boyfriend for four years now. I really do love this guy to death. He is about 9 years older than I and of course has a past before me. He has been married (now he's divorced) and he has 2 different children with 2 different women. The time has come for me that I want children. The problem is that he really does not like children very much and does not want any more. He's also had a vasectomy (which is reversible). He's said that he would have one with me if it would make me happy but I don't want to take him up on his offer because I'm afraid that I'll still be raising the child alone because of how he feels. I want some reassurance in the matter. I want to know that our child will be his pride and joy, his first priority.

 

Other than this issue, we are very compatible and enjoy each other very much. At this point his ex-animal is also asking him to possibly take custody of their son. He wants to take custody and I think that it would be best for his child if he did because he is the better provider. But I can't help feeling selfish in a way because I'm not so sure that I want to have this kid around as a constant reminder of what I'll probably never have. I feel like he's given the best part of him away to people who don't deserve it and I'm just getting the leftovers. I am really confused and very depressed. This has actually been an issue for 2 years already. I don't know what to do!!!!!

 

Anyone have any advice????????????????? I'm desperate.

 

Please Help!!!!!!!!!!11

[Heather]

I've been with my boyfriend for four years now. I really do love this guy to death. He is about 9 years older than I and of course has a past before me. He has been married (now he's divorced) and he has 2 different children with 2 different women. The time has come for me that I want children. The problem is that he really does not like children very much and does not want any more. He's also had a vasectomy (which is reversible). He's said that he would have one with me if it would make me happy but I don't want to take him up on his offer because I'm afraid that I'll still be raising the child alone because of how he feels. I want some reassurance in the matter. I want to know that our child will be his pride and joy, his first priority. Other than this issue, we are very compatible and enjoy each other very much. At this point his ex-animal is also asking him to possibly take custody of their son. He wants to take custody and I think that it would be best for his child if he did because he is the better provider. But I can't help feeling selfish in a way because I'm not so sure that I want to have this kid around as a constant reminder of what I'll probably never have. I feel like he's given the best part of him away to people who don't deserve it and I'm just getting the leftovers. I am really confused and very depressed. This has actually been an issue for 2 years already. I don't know what to do!!!!! Anyone have any advice????????????????? I'm desperate. Please Help!!!!!!!!!!11

 

Angel,

 

Wow, boy what's goin' on man! When you started up with your bf did you know that he had already been married and

 

that he had children and did he have the vasectomy before or after he met you?

 

If you knew all of this; then you were hopefully aware of how he felt about children and marriage. If you continued on with him knowing all of this then your signal to him was this: " Yes, I am aware of your past and I am willing to deal with it" Angel, if now you have changed your mind about what you want then maybe you are with the wrong guy.

 

I had a girlfriend who started a relationship with a fellow who had been married & divorced and had a child also.

 

He did not want any more children and did not want to get married he made that quite clear to her but she wanted it anyway (she couldn't help herself she had never been married & never had children either) she pushed and pushed until one day she pushed him right out of her life.

 

What she did wrong in the first place was, she lied to him,

 

she told him yes she understood how he felt about marriage and children, he asked her "are you sure you understand?" she said yes but deep in her heart she was hoping that he would change his mind one day. Well he didn't. I'm afraid that this will happen to you.

 

Another thing I would like to tell you is this, it takes a darn good woman to take on her subseqent others children do you think you can love and care for this child, remember because you are living together he will expect you to be Mom to this child. Are you up to the challenge?

 

Think long and hard about this and also ask your bf what he expects from you when and if this child comes to live with you.

 

Good Luck Girl!

 

Heather.

[Shirley]

I've been with my boyfriend for four years now. I really do love this guy to death. He is about 9 years older than I and of course has a past before me. He has been married (now he's divorced) and he has 2 different children with 2 different women. The time has come for me that I want children. The problem is that he really does not like children very much and does not want any more. He's also had a vasectomy (which is reversible). He's said that he would have one with me if it would make me happy but I don't want to take him up on his offer because I'm afraid that I'll still be raising the child alone because of how he feels. I want some reassurance in the matter. I want to know that our child will be his pride and joy, his first priority. Other than this issue, we are very compatible and enjoy each other very much. At this point his ex-animal is also asking him to possibly take custody of their son. He wants to take custody and I think that it would be best for his child if he did because he is the better provider. But I can't help feeling selfish in a way because I'm not so sure that I want to have this kid around as a constant reminder of what I'll probably never have. I feel like he's given the best part of him away to people who don't deserve it and I'm just getting the leftovers. I am really confused and very depressed. This has actually been an issue for 2 years already. I don't know what to do!!!!! Anyone have any advice????????????????? I'm desperate. Please Help!!!!!!!!!!11

 

Hi

 

If you love this man, you will also want to help him take care of his children. They are a part of him. And when you love someone, you love every part of them. And if he loves you, he will want to make you happy. So ask him to have the operation, and let him know that you will be there to help him with his other children too.

[Lorie]

 

You need to move on young lady. Please do not have a baby with a man that doesn't understand what it means to be a DAD. Anyone can provide for a child, but to be a great DAD or MOM takes commitment and love for that child. Your bf has two children with two different women he doesn't understand family. My bf has a nine year old that I love like as if she were my own. I love them both and their happiness is important to me. So please make sure that you have the love and commitment with the next man you plan to marry and have a family with.

 

Take your time your still very young.

 

Lorie