What is really going on here?

[Empress_vyksin]

I will try to keep this as brief a possible without being too vague.I enlisted in the military.I was set to ship out in a few months when I met a really nice guy.Lets call him Jay.Jay and I dated and became very close.We spend pretty much all of our time together.We were best friends as well as lovers,it was great.The problem was I started to have serious feelings for him.These feelings were so serious they made me regret enlisting.Serving in the military was my dream for as long as I could remember.I decided not to let a boy come between me and my goals in life.So I ended it.We remained friends,but we eventually lost touch.Its been may 6 years since we last spoke.I found him again on what else? My space last summer. Since then I have written him for hoildays his birthday and just to say hi. He writes back most of the time, but never enitiates and he didn't wish me a happy birthday. We spoke on the phone a couple of times and he says he wants to be friends.The whole thing is very counfusing.One one hand he says he wants to be friends,but on the other he signs all his e-mails with like 30 Xs and Os.I know this may not be such a big deal but on the phone he talks about sex.I never really said anything about it when he does this.So I don't know if he's trying to see if I have feelings for him and since I didn't act like I did now he isn't interested.It also seems like he is keeping his distance.I really want him in my life I love him,but I don't know what he wants.Does he want to be friends? does he want to be more? I don't know,please help.

[car2007]

Hard to say, but if he's not initiating contact with you, it seems as though he's not that interested. Do you live close to him? When he talks about sex, is it in the context of the two of you or him and someone else? Answers to those questions may help round out the story, but still, if I were him and I wanted to be with you, I think I'd be initiating contact more than what you've described.

[Empress_vyksin]

I live in New York city and he lives in L.A. To be fair he is an actor and is always working.But I do see your point.I told him I wanted to be friends and and never asked for anything more.He talks about having sex with me. And one time I told him I was sore because I slept in an awkward position and he swore it was rough sex. I told him it wasn't true. I don't think he believed me,but why is that an issue anyway? As I said I love him,and sure it would be great to re kindle our romance,but all I'm trying for is friendship at this point. I don't want to risk loosing him as a friend because I'm not saying something he needs to hear.I'm not sure if this helps but even when we were intimate he wasn't much for words.He preferred to show his feelings.So I'm wondering if the distance is an issue.